2016 Twitter Awards

December 27, 2016

Welcome to the inaugural Jeff Tweety Awards! You see my name is “Jeff” and these are “Tweets” and there’s this famous guy named… oh never mind, let’s just call them The Tweeties™.

After thoroughly* reading and digesting every tweet posted by every human person this past year, I have compiled the following list of funny tweets that just happen to fit perfectly in my predetermined Twitter categories. Be a sport and follow all of these extremely funny and super deserving Tweetie™ award winners. Please note, there are very few political tweets here because we’re already stressed the fuck out. I love you all. Fight the power. Never give up. Happy New Year.

* I made this list in one night while simultaneously drinking wine, watching my favorite show “Bitchin’ Rides” and folding laundry. Apologies for the butt-loads of great tweets I missed.

And The Tweetie™ Goes to…

Best Looking Tweet

Most Combative Tweet

Best Celebrity Tweet

Best Celebrity Mannequin Challenge Tweet

Best Parenting Tweet

Best Worst Parenting Tweet

Sexiest Tweet

Maybe The Funniest Tweet Ever Tweet

Most Magical Tweet

Best State of The Nation Tweet

Most Shocking Confessional Tweet

Best Bowie Tweet

Best Prince Tweet

Best Worst Question Tweet

Best Northwestern Tweet

Best Midwestern Tweet

Best Tweet about The Martial Arts

Best Physical Fitness Tweet

Most MacGyver Tweet

Most Alienating Tweet

Greenest Tweet

Best Comment Commentary Tweet

Cutest Dog Tweet

Cutest Cat Tweet

Second Cutest Cat Tweet

Best Animal Lover Tweet

Best TGIF Tweet

Best Inquisitive Nephew Tweet

Best Community Activism Tweet

Weirdest Tweet

Best Motorcycle Tweet

Best Car Tweet

Most Effective Ant-Drug Tweet

Best Friend Tweet

Best Kevin Hart/Josh Gad/Olivia Munn Tweet

Best Wealth Planning Tweet

Most Problematic Tweet

Best Wedding DJ Tweet

Best Philly Tweet by a Non-Philadelphian

Best Tweet by a Beloved Philadelphia Detective

Best Tweet by a Beloved Philadelphia Journalist

Best Tweet That Reminded Me to Watch My Neighbor Totoro Again

Best Fake Tweet

Best Shit Talkin’ Tweet

Most Full of Hot Air Tweet

Best Foodie Tweet

Best Food Storage Container Tweet

Best Pizza Tweet

Best Cereal Tweet

Most Fashionable Tweet

Most Introspective Tweet

Best Self-Restraint Tweet

Best Political Prognostication Tweet

Best Meet Cute Tweet

Most Consumer-Friendly Tweet

Best Anglophile Tweet

Best Pre-Crime Tweet

Most Popular Holiday Toy Tweet

Best Interlocking Plastic Danish Construction Toy Tweet

Best Westworld Tweet

Best Peek Into the Future

Best Volleyball Tweet

Second Best Volleyball Tweet

Best Good Tweet

Happiest Holiday Tweet

Most Punishing Tweet

Best Real Estate Tweet

Most Therapeutic Tweet

Best Good Mourning Tweet

Most Perplexing Tweet

Best Music Tweet

Second Best Music Tweet

Best Tweet by My Wife Possibly Directed at Me

Best Asshole Tweet

Most Nostalgic Tweet

Most Bone Chilling Tweet

Best DIY Tweet

Most Casual Response to a Group Message Tweet

Best Media Tweet

Best Evidence That Twitter is Indeed Bad

More Great Tweeters Tweeting Things…

Jeff Lyons

Author: Jeff Lyons

I am the proprietor of this dumb site and Philly Trail Runners. I also co-host Junk Miles with Chip & Jeff. You can follow my daily nonsense on Twitter and Bluesky .