Bad Halloween Costumes of Yore

By Jeff on Oct 8, 2009 in Time Wasters | View Comments

barbarino

On one memorable Halloween when I was little, my mom forgot to make us costumes so my dad picked up a couple prepackaged gems from our local variety store (Schatzows 5 & 10) on his way home from work. A tremendous amount of thought was not put into the purchase.

The costume box contained a semi-pliable mask (decorated with lead paint, I'm sure) and a chintzy, plastic smock that displayed the theme of the costume in an extremely budget fashion.

My older brother chose first and was lucky enough to get the Vinnie Barbarino costume (pretty cool) and he got to do his spot-on "What? Where? Why?" and "I'm so confu-used!" routine. Good stuff, D.J.

Unfortunately, I got stuck with the frightfully afroed and mustachioed Mr. Kotter. (Neat, thanks Dad, the Kotter smock has all the sweathogs on the front too. That way I'll never forget them.)

An eight-year old dressed up as a schlubby, middle-age hack comic with absolutely no acting chops is not a pretty sight. I was less than motivated to go out and beg for candy. But I did, and lets just say, some tears spewed out of those little round eye holes. Little Mr. Kotter was a total wuss.

The website RetroCrush has posted the worst of these infamous, highly-flammable outfits including Chachi, Fat Albert, Space Ghost, GI Joe, the Care Bears and many more. Enjoy the painful memories, I gotta to go see my therapist now.

Have any bad costume memories you want to share? Share here.

Website: www.retrocrush.com

Originally posted October 27, 2007

  • http://www.huffingtonpost.com/scott-shrake Scott Shrake

    I’ve just been a witch every year, I never had one of those store-bought costumes. I do remember a big costume store on Woodward Avenue in Detroit that had huge rubber prosthetic breasts and asses hanging from the ceiling. They were expensive, too! Maybe they weren’t just for Halloween. . .

  • http://www.huffingtonpost.com/scott-shrake Scott Shrake

    I’ve just been a witch every year, I never had one of those store-bought costumes. I do remember a big costume store on Woodward Avenue in Detroit that had huge rubber prosthetic breasts and asses hanging from the ceiling. They were expensive, too! Maybe they weren’t just for Halloween. . .

  • http://www.toddmarrone.com/ Todd Marrone

    When I was in 4th grade, I dressed up as Cantor Rabinovitch from Neil Diamond’s 1980 remake of the Jazz Singer. When I was young, it was one of my favorite Laurence Olivier roles.

  • http://www.toddmarrone.com Todd Marrone

    When I was in 4th grade, I dressed up as Cantor Rabinovitch from Neil Diamond’s 1980 remake of the Jazz Singer. When I was young, it was one of my favorite Laurence Olivier roles.

  • Michelle H

    When I was about 9 or 10 my grandmother spent about 6 months sewing my Halloween costume in secrecy. Halloween finally came and she presented me with a very scary very elaborate ET costume.She was so proud and I wore it but I have never happily dressed up for Halloween again. It’s a holiday I really just don’t care for.

  • Michelle H

    When I was about 9 or 10 my grandmother spent about 6 months sewing my Halloween costume in secrecy. Halloween finally came and she presented me with a very scary very elaborate ET costume.She was so proud and I wore it but I have never happily dressed up for Halloween again. It’s a holiday I really just don’t care for.

  • Amee

    This weekend I was at well known opera diva Jessye Norman’s concert and although the music was moving all I could think of was what a great Halloween costume she would make. Yes, for a sophisticated and aging homosexual audience, but all you would need is a basic witchy wig, a caftan, eyeliner and be comfortable making a lot of dramatic faces!

  • Amee

    This weekend I was at well known opera diva Jessye Norman’s concert and although the music was moving all I could think of was what a great Halloween costume she would make. Yes, for a sophisticated and aging homosexual audience, but all you would need is a basic witchy wig, a caftan, eyeliner and be comfortable making a lot of dramatic faces!

  • http://www.surfindead.com/ deeky

    new costumes are just as bad.

  • http://www.surfindead.com/ deeky

    new costumes are just as bad.

  • http://www.surfindead.com/ deeky

    oops. i meant this page instead:

    http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2007/10/halloween-dangers.html

    you know what? just forget i posted anything. i’m an idiot.

  • http://www.surfindead.com/ deeky

    oops. i meant this page instead:

    http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2007/10/halloween-dangers.html

    you know what? just forget i posted anything. i’m an idiot.

  • http://kevindowneyjr.com/ Kevin Downey, Jr.

    When I was 4 I wanted to be Casper the ghost for halloween. My mom bought me the costume and I was tickled. 29 years later, when I knew how to read, I was going through old photos and I saw a pic of me in the costume, It wasn’t casper, it was “Gus the Ghost”, Casper’s cheap knock off.

  • http://kevindowneyjr.com Kevin Downey, Jr.

    When I was 4 I wanted to be Casper the ghost for halloween. My mom bought me the costume and I was tickled. 29 years later, when I knew how to read, I was going through old photos and I saw a pic of me in the costume, It wasn’t casper, it was “Gus the Ghost”, Casper’s cheap knock off.

  • T. Flanagan

    It was always exciting to go to Schatzow’s in October to check out the boxed halloween costumes. If I recall correctly they were in the farthest aisle from where you walked in. One year I was a skeleton. I suspect the costumes were not really flame-retardant though.

  • T. Flanagan

    It was always exciting to go to Schatzow’s in October to check out the boxed halloween costumes. If I recall correctly they were in the farthest aisle from where you walked in. One year I was a skeleton. I suspect the costumes were not really flame-retardant though.

  • Ellen

    My brother and I got Planet of the Apes costumes of the same type when we were about 7/8/9ish too. They might have even both been the same character. We loved them for some bizarre reason and wanted to wear them again for 2 or 3 Halloweens afterward.

  • Ellen

    My brother and I got Planet of the Apes costumes of the same type when we were about 7/8/9ish too. They might have even both been the same character. We loved them for some bizarre reason and wanted to wear them again for 2 or 3 Halloweens afterward.

  • heather andrews magda

    I NEVER got a prepackaged costume but my sisters did!! I always was a cowgirl or gypsy…whatever was easy…I hope Nan doesn’t read this!

  • heather andrews magda

    I NEVER got a prepackaged costume but my sisters did!! I always was a cowgirl or gypsy…whatever was easy…I hope Nan doesn’t read this!

  • Jeff Lyons

    Ellen, Planet of The Apes ruled my world for many years. One Christmas, DJ and I got the PotA Treehouse. DJ got the Cornelius doll and I got the Zira doll (yes, the female). I was none too pleased. I guess the Taylor and Dr. Zaius dolls were all sold out…

  • Jeff Lyons

    Ellen, Planet of The Apes ruled my world for many years. One Christmas, DJ and I got the PotA Treehouse. DJ got the Cornelius doll and I got the Zira doll (yes, the female). I was none too pleased. I guess the Taylor and Dr. Zaius dolls were all sold out…

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