I’m pretty certain the Internet will blow up soon, and with that, millions upon million of nonsense-filled webpages and countless gigs of nut-punching videos will be lost forever. Sad, but it’s inevitable.
That’s why I gathered up some of my favorite musings from this website and put them in book form. They shall be preserved for the future generation of belligerent, ferocious apes who will one day enslave all humans and rule the earth… and learn to read. In that exact order. So, that’s why this book is staring you in the face. It’s for the apes.

You love post-apocalyptic dystopian tales of gritty humans battling armies of insidious baby-eating cyborgs, right? So does Philadelphia’s preeminent geek Eric Smith (www.geekadelphia.com), but in his debut novel he tackles something much more troubling and frightening: relationships and ruts.

“Jean Teasdale has been The Onion’s resident humor and human-interest columnist since 1990. In addition to writing, Jean has held more than thiry-five part time jobs, and has been fired from more than thirty. She has been married to tire-technician Richard “Rick” Teasdale for nearly twenty years. Jean resides in the Midwest, where she pursues many varied interests, including collecting figurines, making ghosts out of of facial tissue, and testing out many “as seen on TV” products.”

My Year of Flops collects dozens of the best-loved entries from Rabin’s avclub.com column along with loads of bonus features. These include interviews with talent from the films chronicled, a new introduction and postscript, illustrations by Danny Hellman and fifteen new entries on everything from notorious flops like The Cable Guy and The Last Action Hero to bizarre obscurities like Gospel Road, Johnny Cash’s homemade tribute to Jesus.

Junk Mail: Just got Sex: Our Bodies, Our Junk in the mail. Yup, had to order online, I was too ashamed to buy it in the bookstore during my weekly visit to pick up OK!, People and Asian Lady Holz. Since ripping open the package 2 hours ago, I’ve been hiding from my family, reading [...]

“Now, for the first time, Cross is weaving his media mockery, celebrity denunciation, religious commentary and sheer madness into book form, revealing the true story behind his almost existential distaste of Jim Belushi (The Belush), disclosing the up-to-now unpublished minutes to a meeting of Fox television network executives, and offering up a brutally grotesque run-in with Bill O’Reilly.” – Publishers Weekly

“It traces the evolution of the show from its inspiration in the civil rights movement through its many ups and downs – from Nixon’s trying to cut off its funding to the rise of Elmo – via the remarkable personalities who have contributed to it.”

Music nerds and art lovers unite! Enjoy 140 of Ryan’s best color illustrations promoting some of your favorite bands with his signature muted colors and whimsical edge. Steve Albini puts it best, “Jay Ryan takes the germ of an idea and makes it uniquely great. His genius is in knowing what matters and what doesn’t… His genius is in having the image matter.”

Lists! Perfect for the bathroom: 13 particularly horrible fast-food innovations, 24 great films too painful to watch twice, 10 Great Songs Nearly Ruined by Saxophone, 11 video games that prompted fear and outrage, and 100 More Obsessively Specific Pop-Culture Lists!

Our book “Quality Workday Distraction” is now available on Amazon and I am very excited. I just hi-fived the photos of Noam Chomsky and Matt Rolloff on my wall… anyway… I know some of you have purchased and even skimmed through the book (we all go potty now and then, am I right people?), so would you be so kind to write a small review on my Amazon page: