A while back my favorite intrepid video explorer@morganclinesent me a delightful vid called “Cold Drinks” (below). Not only did it make me thirsty and very dancey (I counted it as a workout), it sent me into a dizzying YouTube search pit looking for other oddly fascinating employee training treasures. I found some goodies and then moved on to looking for old Big Drill Car videos, as you would expect.

Tommy and Brian did not deserve that.

Despite the incoherent video, poorly-written lyrics and the oddly oedipal subject matter, I really like this song. Three reasons why: the “mama mama please” chorus is painfully catchy, the pronunciation of “jaguars” is awesome and most importantly, the bass player is a dead ringer for Rupert Holmes. I fondly remember this video being a staple of early MTV when the fledgling station only had Split Enz, Donny Iris and Danny Joe Brown Band videos to fill up the air time. I know this because I watched the channel 24/7.

Planet Rock, population one. Thx to @michelemelcher for this find. Best shoulder & chin workout ever. Oh, and don’t forget to “crank under-handed.” John Jacobson teaches his original choreography for the song Planet Rock. Planet Rock is an original composition of John Jacobson and all credit goes to him. The original video is also available for free viewing on his website at http://www.musicexpressmagazine.com.

This video might be too much of a good thing for you to handle in one sitting… what am I talking about, you won’t be sitting, you’ll be jazzercizing up storm and then wiping up a giant puddle of sweat from your crumb-speckled, industrial gray cubical carpet. It will totally be worth it. Watch now and support your favorite Crystal Light National Aerobic Championship athletes. But remember, this was a long time ago and most of these people are dead, so don’t fall in love with them.

This also pertains to social media rockstars and many web design gurus. “I just tweeted that you hate me.” Love it!

I know very little about hockey players, but this is pretty much what I thought would happen if you locked a bunch of these mulletted beasts in a room with some instruments. Be careful: It’s Red Hot!

I like how Boing Boing’s “top” story on the home page is about advertising hell. It’s conveniently buried beneath a giant block of advertising. I realize sites need ad dollars to stay afloat, but this is just silly.

My dad swooped in and picked up a couple prepackaged gems from our local variety store (Schatzows 5 & 10, Belmar, NJ) on his way home from work. A tremendous amount of thought was not put into the purchase. The costume box contained a semi-pliable mask (decorated with lead paint, I’m sure) and a chintzy, plastic smock that displayed the theme of the costume in an extremely budget fashion.

Thanks to videogum and @timheidecker for discovering this unholy grail of uncomfortable super fan photos that will—no doubt—be used one day by the FBI in some serious celebrity stalking and kidnapping cases.