The Mathletes Club here at UsedWigs High have compiled a classroom full of actors who were well past their teenage years when they portrayed high-schoolers on the big and small screens

# Welcome Back Squatter
# See Ya Loiter!
# Café Au Layabout
# The Writer’s Block
# American Idle Cafe
# Room for Mooch
# 30 Chairs, One Outlet

and many more!

Don’t you hate being forced to use public bathrooms? It’s twenty f*cking ten (20f*cking10), can we finally be given some human dignity instead of being asked to just expose ourselves like animals? Stalls are for cattle, not people. Whose idea were group bathrooms? Some perverted Nazi architect’s?

Logical question: Do we let strangers hang out in [...]

Michael Jackson: Hyperbaric oxygen chamber stocks plummeted this morning. OR The Thriller video, now 12% spookier.
Les Paul: Les is no more.
Farrah Fawcett: Farrah had a killer ass.
Billy Mays: There will never be another Billy Mays, mostly due to lack of interest.
Oral Roberts: Today, lying lost one of its greatest champions.
Ed McMahon: Now, only 25% of [...]

That’s right, Russ’s favorite. Not claiming to be an exhaustive list or a definitive list. So don’t tell me it was criminal of me to ignore the latest Jimmy Buffet album. It was downright heroic.

Okay, not better, but hopefully a bit different than most lists out there. 2009 was not my favorite year for music or for Jennifer Garner/Matthew McConaughey romcoms, but we’ll save that hot-button topic for another day. For the most part, the belles of the blog ball left this cranky old fella yawning, not fawning — [...]

We all know in our hearts that Facebook is “over,” so as a kind of nostalgia I wanted to post some rules I made up a while ago for those who were just discovering the ’Book. I hope something replaces Facebook soon so life can have meaning again. New thing, please! Thank you. Meanwhile:
1. No [...]

Headlines ripped from the pages of our book Quality Workday Distractions, available now for gift giving! Remember, comedian Jim Gaffigan says, “UsedWigs.com is like the bacon of the internet. Mmm. UsedWigs.”

One large credit card bill will make you sad, so open a new card at each store you go to, including Cinnabon and Christmas City. Do not shop online. Somalis will hijack your credit card info. The Purell Dispenser/Ambulance Transformer is the season’s must-have toy. The online discount promo code for John Mayer’s new CD is “$UPERDOUCHE” Gift receipts show a lack of confidence in your purchases. Do not give them out. And more!!

A bit tired of hearing that Waitress’s “wrapping” song and Bruce babbling on about Clarence getting a new sax for Christmas? Us too. Here’s a holly jolly roundup of some little-known originals and some well-known classics done by some of our favorite modern (mostly indie) artists. Have a favorite tune you wish to share? Just [...]