I am loving these shorts directed by Lynda Balsama. These cops are so much more interesting than Richard Dreyfuss and Emilio Estevez. The episode above features Chris Orbach and Steve Di Schiavi of the Travel Channel’s “The Dead Files.” The debut episode below features Seth Gilliam and Chris Orbach.

The Switch – Like it or not, Jennifer Aniston movies will always be made. Even if her next 3 movies earn $30 each and secret phone tapes are released of her saying Haiti deserved it, Hollywood will not stop putting this Friend in films. Why? Because Brad Pitt wronged her and she deserves to be in as many films as she likes and date as many of her costars as she can. It’s only fair.

More: How Jennifer Aniston Chooses a Film

In theaters: August 20th, 2010

Due Date – Looks like Alan Garner & Iron Man have remade Planes, Trains & Automobiles (sans planes & trains). Looks fun enough.

In theaters: November 5th, 2010

Skyline – What, not even a glimpse of the aliens? These space creatures better be the coolest, scariest, anal-probingest, bad-ass muther-effers ever created in the history of sci-fi cinema because this premise is completely overcooked and overdone (Signs, District 9, War of the Worlds, Independence Day)  and this trailer is a complete snoozer.

In theaters: November 12th, 2010

Black Swan – Single White Female + Mommie Dearest + evil skin rashes + that weirdo Darren Aronofsky = I’ll be confused at the end and not really satisfied. More importantly, Natalie Portman is hotter then the “That 70′s Show” chick. Just thought I’d nip that argument in the bud.

In theaters: December 1st, 2010

Let Me In – This is an American remake of the brilliant, blood-chilling Norwegian kid vampire film Let The Right One In. You can tell a Hollywood marketing exec got his paws on it by the injection of that atrocious, nu metal garbage music in the trailer. Save your money and just rent the original, there is no way on earth it can be better than the original. The pool scene still haunts my dreams.

In theaters: October 1st, 2010

The Next Three Days – And the “Giving 95% of the Film Away in Stupid Trailer” award goes to… Could you have at least kept us in the dark about whether Russel Crowe is able to break his daughter out of jail? What’s that? Liz Banks is supposed to be his wife? Creepy.

In theaters: November 19th, 2010

Hey Philly, remember last year when that big old Hollywood movie was filming here and we were mildly excited to stalk see Reese Witherspoon, Paul Rudd, Jack Nicholson and that Wilson brothers (Mookie, I believe)? And remember no one really knew what the film was about? Well, sadly, now we know.

It’s about good-looking, bland white people being bland and white. Two guys, one cupcake. Who will she pick? I’m guessing one of them. I don’t think we care. Hopefully Rudd’s reliable humor and Reese’s reliable chin will keep us entertained while we watch and say, “Hey, there’s that swanky place in Philly we never go to” and “Yeah, she is kind of looking more and more like Amy Poehler.”

One thing I know for sure, it won’t be the greatest WitherRudd film ever. Because this exists:

“They’ve got 24 hours to stop a package, prevent a disaster,
and fall in love.”

Spoiler Alert: They did not stop the package and both died before they fell in love. The package contained extra-large, face-eating fire ants.

]]> http://usedwigs.com/how-do-you-know-trailer/feed/ 2 http://usedwigs.com/no-words/ http://usedwigs.com/no-words/#comments Mon, 17 May 2010 20:48:43 +0000 Jeff http://usedwigs.com/?p=9093 Music too good to be spoiled by lyrics.]]>

Maserati – “12/16″

Mogwai – “Mogwai Fear Satan”

Jaga Jazzist – “All I Know Is Tonight”

Tortoise – “Prepare Your Coffin”

Russian Circles - “Death Rides A Horse”

Explosions in the Sky – “The Birth and Death of the Day”

Three Trapped Tigers - “1″

65daysofstatic - “Retreat! Retreat!”

Unwed Sailor – “Copper Islands”

Do Make Say Think – “A Tender History In Rust”

This Will Destroy You – “Threads”

Mono – “Follow The Map”

Red Sparowes – “Alone and Unaware…”

Star Wars Uncut “The Escape” from Casey Pugh.

I’m not the biggest Star Wars fan but both those nerds I do the podcast with certainly are. They turned me on to this extremely clever and funny collaborative idea for a low budget re-imagining of the epic film. Here’s the simple plan:

“The entire movie is split up into 15 second scenes. Claim a scene, film it, and upload it! When it’s all done, it’ll be stitched together so we can watch the magic happen.”

Love the flying sandwich, the fat Han Solos and the ladder scene. Nice work everyone, you should be proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed.

More: StarWarsUncut.com

Rush was the second concert I ever attended so the band and that particular show hold a nice cozy place in my heart. The event also spawned a favorite embarrassing moment from my always-awkward, music-obsessed youth. I was a freshman in high school on this momentous rock occasion and was very very excited to see another live show (The Who at JFK Stadium in Philly was my first show, seventh grade, sober the entire show, I swear).

My mom and dad took me, my brother DJ and my buddy Don to see the Canadian rock gods at Radio City Music Hall in NYC. My parents dropped us off at the show and went out to dinner. We were beyond pumped and got to our seats about an hour before the show. I remembering drinking lots of soda, staring at all the older long-haired Rush fans and smelling a smokey, weedy substance (with which I was not familiar). It was sensory overload and I was loving it.

This was the Signals tour for Geddy and the boys, I know this because Don and I bought matching three-quarter sleeve  “Signals” concert T-shirts with the dog-sniffing-hydrant artwork. Yes, they looked insanely cool. That’s also when my love affair with merch tables began. We were proud of our shirts and put them on immediately.

The pride did not subside because we both decided to wear them to school the next day. Awesome move, lady killers.

It was “Walk-a-thon” day at school and all the students plodded along the boardwalk for a few hours to raise money for some cause. Of course Don and I walked together, side by side with a cocksure swagger that could only come from acquiring and wearing our killer matching “Hey fellas, we went to a rock show in the big city and you did not!” concert tees.

We thought we ruled pretty hard until a popular girl walked by and causally asked, “Why are you two wearing matching shirts?”

Before we could respond and defend our ass-kicking attire, she laughed and pointed and laughed again as she rejoined her group of friends, who also partook in the deafening laugh parade.

Don and I looked at each other and said nothing and kept walking. About five minutes later, Don simply said, “Man, she was pretty hot.” I agreed. Nothing more was said. Rush pride was slightly wounded but nowhere near defeated.

Back to the show. Rush live completely floored me, I couldn’t grasp how three guys could perform such amazing music that actually sounded better, more alive and electric, than the recorded versions. I stood on my feet in awe from the opening chords of Spirit of The Radio until the very last encore (Closer to The Heart, I believe). My favorite memory was watching my brother sneak down to the third row, stand on his seat and wildly air-drum for the entire concert. He was a maniac, completely taken over by the emotional feedback on timeless wavelengths, no doubt.

DJ was and still is a very big fan and when I listen to the band, I’m always transported back to our small shared bedroom with giant Rush, Yes and Led Zep posters plastered on every inch of the walls. Two kids kicking back, reading the lyrics of 2112 and flipping vinyl and loading cassettes for hours on end. I also think about how cool my parents were taking us to the show and trusting their little miscreants to behave. It was just one of many cool moves my parents notched up over the years.

While my musical taste quickly changed over to punk and hardcore, I never ever stopped loving Rush. Even during some of their classic missteps: Best Worst Video: “Time Stands Still” by Rush and Aimee Mann.

And I never understand why the ladies ignored this band. Baffling…

- Thanks to greg for the heads up on this film, I’ll be there opening night.

“You’re friend is mad at you…” Okay, I’m now a huge Gabe Liedman fan, That was easy.

More: Gabe and Max’s 100 Seconds

Details Story: My father-in-law subscribed to some money management or white guy golf magazine that recently went under. Instead of canceling his subscription, the magazine’s publisher decided to send him another mag in its place. Yup, Details. Makes perfect sense for a desperate, sinking company that — I’m guessing — has no money left for a market research/customer service type person who might have realized that a 65+ married guy who enjoys scotch, the Phillies, gardening, golf and gun repair (okay, made that last one up) might enjoy a different type of reading material.

So now Jack gets to look at Details every month. That’s right, you don’t read Details, you just look at it and enjoy all the ads with the photos of guys doing guy stuff. Ya know, standing around in blazers with no shirts and bike shorts on the deck of a yacht with some other fellas. Sometimes a lady with a crazy hairdo and also no top (hair covering nips) sneaks into a photo, but she is usually ignored while she is writhing on the ground in an awkward pose (probably tired and in pain from not eating).

If you look hard, you will see a couple articles too — mostly about grooming or how to buy a mountain bike or something about that handsome young actor doing something handsome — but no one reads that silly stuff. More man ads!

Some say this is a gay magazine, they are so wrong. This, my friend, is a Super Gay magazine. It makes Men’s Health look like The Economist. I must go, feel the strange need to do some crunches then pout.

These babies look pretty cool. Just keep them off airplanes… am I right or am I right, folks!

More: trailers.apple.com

In Theaters: May 7, 2010

If you love greed, conspiracy, backstabbing and rich people acting very very nasty — oh, and art — this should be a fun viewing.

“The film chronicles the long and dramatic struggle for control of the Barnes Foundation, a private collection of art valued at more than $25 billion. In 1922, Dr. Albert C. Barnes formed a remarkable educational institution around his priceless collection of art, located just five miles outside of Philadelphia. Now, more than 50 years after Barnes’ death, a powerful group of moneyed interests have gone to court for control of the art, and intend to bring it to a new museum in Philadelphia.”

The Barnes pretty much sat on my college campus in Merion PA, tucked away on a side street behind large trees and gardens. It was very easy to miss. The average student was not aware that 181 Renoirs, 69 Cezannes, 59 Matisses , 46 Picassos, 21 Soutines, 18 Rousseaus, 16 Modiglianis, 11 Degas, 7 Van Goghs, 6 Seurats, 4 Manets and 4 Monets were right around the block.

In theaters: February 26, 2010

I like this concept: a comedy that actually looks funny.

More info here, definitely not here.