By Jeff Lyons on Dec 7, 2007 in News, Television | 0 Comments
After viewing a grossly mangled dead body of a young woman who apparently fell from a balcony six stories above, Jerry Orbach’s beloved character Det. Lennie Briscoe quickly quipped, “Wonder if her friends knew she was dropping by?”
At another grisly crime scene, Det. Briscoe pulled open a body bag to see a decapitated body of [...]
Continue »
By Jeff Lyons on Dec 6, 2007 in News | 0 Comments
Broken stop signs don’t just fix themselves. It takes a well-oiled machine firing on all cylinders to get the job done. You need the right tools, expert planning, unflagging dedication and in the city of Philadelphia, at least 8 members of their Public Works Streets Department crew.
With a solid six hours scheduled for the repair [...]
Continue »
By Jeff Lyons on Dec 3, 2007 in News | 1 Comment
Rye, NY - Sorry soccer! Kicking a leather ball is fun, but it’s just not challenging enough for the majority of today’s high-spirited suburban scamps.
Many well-to-do parents see karate, the ancient Asian practice of self-defense, as a great way for their kids to “focus their attention and boundless energy.”
“Our little Noah was quite a handful. [...]
Continue »
By Jeff Lyons on Nov 20, 2007 in News | 8 Comments
“I was going to college just to get the hell out of my house so I could play online poker 18 hours a day,” said Mike Chung, a poker major who is simultaneously playing three hands of Texas Holdem on three different monitors in his MIT campus dorm room. “When I heard MIT offered poker [...]
Continue »
By Jeff Lyons on Nov 6, 2007 in News, Office Humor | 31 Comments
Mozart wrote his first concerto at age five. Tiger Woods learned to play golf at three. And now Madison, New Jersey’s own child prodigy Jason Park is stuck in a crappy job at age 11.
Under the home-school guidance of his mother, Park finished high school at the age of six. He then breezed through college [...]
Continue »
By Jeff Lyons on Nov 2, 2007 in News | 4 Comments
Due to student demand, Midvale High in Walling Township, NJ, and other schools across the nation have added Competitive Eating to their roster of school-sponsored clubs.
The goal of the new and extremely popular intramural “sport” is simple. The participant (eater) attempts to ingest as much food as possible within a certain [...]
Continue »
By Jeff Lyons on Oct 16, 2007 in News, Sports | 0 Comments
West Point, N.Y. – In a move to shore up protection for the Black Knights ailing backfield, the coaching staff at the esteemed West Point Military Academy took a page from the presidents’ playbook and contracted Blackwater USA mercenaries to play offensive line.
“Our quarterbacks have been getting beaten up pretty bad lately and we were [...]
Continue »
By Jeff Lyons on Oct 16, 2007 in Music, News | 0 Comments
Nothing gives me more satisfaction than searching for and finding the perfect old classic rock song that says, ‘Hey world, look at how much more I know about obscure 70s and 80s music than you do.’”
Continue »
By Jeff Lyons on Oct 15, 2007 in News, Office Humor | 1 Comment
King of Prussia, PA - According to the latest Occupational Safety & Health Administration (OSHA) report, people who smoke cigarettes are significantly less likely to fall victim to workplace injuries.
OSHA spokesperson Jerry Reinert explains, “Because your average smoker spends a third of his/her day outside of the office smoking cigarettes, they are at least 33% [...]
Continue »