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Social Media Job Interview Questions

Jeff — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 19:02:53 +0000

“What do you see yourself Tweeting five years from now?”

“How quickly can you Retweet a @mashable tweet?”

“Please use harness in a sentence about social media. Great, now pretend I’m a client and use it five different times in one short conversation.”

“What is your stance on tagging friends who look drunk in photos?”

“If I give you a cat, a piano and our product. Tell me what kind of video you’d create and how you’d make it go viral.”

“What is your experience with posting brand-promoting comments on popular blogs using 250 different aliases?“

“Would you describe your Social Media Persona as a People Persona?”

“Gowalla, Foursquare or Facebook Places? In your opinion, what’s the best application to let our followers know exactly when we are picking up our dry cleaning?”

“What are you currently the mayor of? Where do you see yourself being mayor of this time next year?”

“Do you have a background in glocal crowdsourcing for brand building using targeted channels?”

“About how long would it take you to update a 250-slide social media PowerPoint presentation on a daily basis with images of the latest memes and buzz words?”

“There’s talk of this word ‘plan’ regarding social media. Not familiar. What have you heard?”

“Would you be comfortable starting with the title ‘Social Media Rock Star’ and if all goes well in the first year, promoted to ‘Social Media Hollywood Triple Threat’?”

Much-Heralded Office Shower Becomes Less-Heralded Storage Area

Jeff — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 19:16:27 +0000

After 26 months of almost 100-percent inactivity, OviTech Solutions’ office shower has been designated the new official storage area for copy paper, file folders and presentation binders. Office manager Pam Superstein made the announcement in an intra-office email.

The audibly disappointed Superstein described the situation,”When they first designed the office, we had high hopes for the shower. Everyone said we needed at least two shower stalls since many of the employees would be biking and running to and from work. We’re a technology company with lots of young, energetic people, so it made sense.”

“I think our CEO, Red, used it once the first week we moved in, after a quick lunchtime run. He made a big deal about it, walking around the office in his sweaty clothes for a good while. He hasn’t run since. No one has.”

Programmer Chris Duffy, whose cube sits adjacent to the new utility and storage center/closet, nodded and added: “People just started putting crap in the shower — old monitors, boxes, food wrappers… there wasn’t room anywhere else, I guess. I took the giant bottle of Prell last month, hate to see that go to waste.”

Superstein added, “The shower was hip and humanizing in a way, but converting it makes more sense from a square-inchage [sic] perspective.”

Just a month earlier, OviTech Solutions had converted its “gym” room — which consisted of a stationary bike, a treadmill, two Thighmasters and a Bowflex — into a new sales office, retrofitted with eight space-saver cubes. The gym equipment was offered to the employees at cost plus 10 percent. No takers.

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Popular Responses to “Hot Enough For Ya?”

Jeff — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 19:44:56 +0000

“Hot Enough For Ya?”

No, not until you spontaneously combust in front of me.
No, my people were born on the Sun centuries ago and we are impervious to what you humans refer to as heat. Our plan to fry your puny planet to a crisp and enslave your kind is almost complete. Prepare to bow down to the almighty Ra.
No, I’m not a hot weather pussy.
No! (Start singing this as loud as you can.)
If by “hot” you mean “ball sweaty,” then yes, it most certainly is.
No. In fact, you have severely underestimated my threshold for pain. (Take out lighter and hold flame under your tongue.)
Dammit Ron, get out of here! Go build your own sweat lodge!
(Say nothing. Perform the entire “Maniac” routine from Flashdance.)
Could we please not get into this right now?
Did someone say “Hot!” (Grab the person by the waist from behind and start singing this as loud as you can.)

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New Facebook Terms You Should Know

Jeff — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 04:13:29 +0000

“Commental Error”

This is when a Facebook rookie or clueless user makes a completely off-topic comment on your post thread instead of posting directly on your wall or sending you a message.

“Misguided Missive”

The king of newbie mistakes, inadvertently “posting” (publicly) on someone’s wall instead of sending them a “message” (privately).

“Disapostment”

One of the best things about Facebook is posting something and having people comment on it, hopefully in a positive light. When you see that beautiful tiny red notification beacon of back-patting light up with a number in the bottom right corner of your screen, you immediately become excited!

” Awesome, someone must have LOVED my latest clever post! Who could it be? I’m so excited!… Let’s take a look… NO!!!!!!!!”

Disappointment, or as we now say, disapostment, quickly sets in as you read the notification and it does not pertain to your post! Instead it’s a comment from some lame-o stranger (or a stepfriend) who also commented on some friend’s dumb movie quote you “liked” five weeks ago and forgot about.

“Dammit!! No more ‘liking’ stuff or commenting! Ever!!! It’s all about me!”

“Chattack”

You’re having a lovely evening drinking some wine, checking in with the old Facebook, seeing who’s up to what… having some giggles, looking at some old funny photos and…

BLOOOP! [Chat Window opens]

AGHH! Chat Attack!!!

Nooooooo! Shocked and dismayed, you immediately close Facebook without replying… and then close the browser window… and then shut off the computer and tip toe away from your desk being as quiet as you can. Shhhh! (Why quietly? Facebook Chat can hear you!)

“Suggestshuns”

Facebook and other friends often suggest people you should be friends with. When you receive these Friend Suggestions, remember, the “Ignore” button is a very handy tool.

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Passive Aggressive Email Boxing

Jeff — Wed, 06 May 2009 18:30:15 +0000

More: Super News

Post-Holiday Office Chat Protocol

Jeff — Tue, 27 May 2008 15:17:31 +0000

Approach coworker in cubicle, office or common area. Ask coworker how his/her Memorial Day Weekend was. As soon as he/she opens mouth to respond, interrupt immediately and relate in excruciating detail every single thing you did from Friday afternoon to Monday night without taking a breath. Leave. Approach new coworker. Repeat.

ReadyMade Goes Digital, Free Photoshop, Wine, Hipster Bashing and Bar Tricks

Jeff — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 23:06:12 +0000

Green Before Green was Hot: Those thrifty and stylish recyclists and reusers at ReadyMade are now offering a digital edition of an entire printed issue. Make sure you take a look-see at the cool, recycled sheds near the back. It would make for a nice weekend project, if a weekend consisted of 250 days. While the digi-edition is a cute idea, I still prefer the good old paper version (I like to read ~~on the toilet~~ in bed). In keeping with their green ethos, when I’m through with an issue I eat the entire thing.

Re: Party Photos: “Thanks for all those high-resolution, non-Zipped photos you sent me from the party. Waiting for the 3GB email to download was not a problem at all. I enjoy reaching my email quota for the year in one day. I guess you could have went through and took out a couple bad ones or maybe 30 of the blurry ones, or just for kicks, maybe got rid of some of the 80-odd pairs of red eye? But again, no problem. Keep ‘em coming, Stieglitz.”

Tired of sending that email? Adobe now offers Photoshop Express: a free, dumbed-down version of their software which will allow peeps to edit, polish and store their mess of digital photos. PSX (as I like to call it because I’m an ass) also offers slideshow capability so your clueless friends can relax with sending the giant email attachments.

FYI, for managing and posting photos to view, I am a big fan of Kodak Gallery.

Make Room in Your Wallet: Here’s an ingenious way to remember that delicious bottle of wine you just polished off.

Rage Against The Clerk: hipster bashing = always funny.

Open a Beer Bottle with a Dollar Bill! And learn a few other nifty bar tricks you can amaze your friends with, or most likely, just annoy them as usual.

Imploding America: Not happy with what those plastic-haired dolts on the network news are spoon feeding you? Either is Humphrey Hall. Check out his site if you want the latest in conspiracy theories and less-than-savory government activity.

Subject: Munchkins in Kitchen

Jeff — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 15:27:41 +0000

FYI, there are Munchkins in our kitchen again, like 50 of ‘em, so if your in the West Philly area and you need a treat, please stop by.

Be quick though, all the chocolate are gone already, and a big marketing strategizing session just let out so, you know, they’re gonna go fast. Looks like the white powdered ones aren’t so popular, messy I guess, anyway… back to that invoice processing request form.

Woman 'Working from Home' Sends Strategically-Timed Emails, Fools No One

Jeff — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 15:48:59 +0000

“Let’s see, Wendy sent a completely meaningless email around 9:30am, CC’ing the whole marketing team. We should expect an equally meaningless and bothersome email around 11ish,” said Marsha Petersen, a coworker of Wendy Messermen.

“Wendy works from home quite a lot, and she sends emails every couple of hours to prove she’s actually being productive. Must be a pain typing in the old iPhone while you’re on the stair climber at the gym, driving to the shore or hitting the sale racks at Bloomingdales?”

“It’s pretty obvious she’s not working,” said marketing assistant Doug Barry. “All her emails just ask trivial questions she already knows the answer to, or inquires about the status of something.

It’s never like, ‘Here’s the edited copy for that ad you needed last week’ or ‘I’ve finally finished your performance review, what else ya need?’ That would be actual work. I usually just wait a half hour to respond because I know she’s out the door as soon as she sends it.”

“Why can’t we just be honest? When I get to work from home… one day, I hope… I’ll just send an email to all with the subject line: ‘Playing EverQuest all day, with an occasional masturbation break, don’t you dare interrupt me.’”

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Useful Noncommittal Responses

Jeff — Sun, 25 Nov 2007 14:15:06 +0000

Why offend when confronted with people’s questionable taste? Just answer politely with the following meaningless responses.

Situation: A coworker goes on and on about a lame place they visited.
Response: “I can totally see you having fun there.”

Situation: A friend tells you about a horrible band he just loves.
Response: “I hear they have many fans.”

Situation: You are served horrible food at a friend’s house.
Response: “I can tell this is homemade.”

Situation: Someone gushes about a lame TV show or movie.
Response: “That’s so right up your alley.”

Situation: A woman friend asks your opinion on her god-awful outfit.
Response: “I bet you’ll get a lot of wear out of that.”

Situation: The viewing of a less than attractive newborn.
Response: “Wow, what a baby!”

Situation: A buddy asks what you think about his new ugly girlfriend.
Response: “Dude, she seems really into you.”

Situation: A gal pal asks what you think about her new ugly boyfriend.
Response: “He seems like the type that won’t cheat.”

Situation: You discover your boyfriend is small in the pants.
Response: “It’s the perfect size.”

Situation: A good friend shows you his cheesy website.
Response: “I don’t know which animation to look at first!”

Situation: A guy at a party boasts about his boring job.
Response: “Holy cow, I could never do what you do!”

Situation: A friend gabs about her upcoming wedding for months on end.
Response: “I cannot wait ’til you get married. We’re all counting the days.”

Situation: An acquaintance asks what you think about her new hair style.
Response: “You know, not everyone can pull that off.”

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