From the gaping mouth of Todd:

Throughout the month of December, MilkBoy Acoustic will be adorned with the photography of UsedWigs shutterbug, Tiffany “Fly Me to the” Yoon and artwork by UsedWigs poddy mouth, Todd “Me” Marrone. Join us for the First Friday reception and enjoy the smooth strumming of UsedWigs maestro, Russ “Jawbone” Starke and participate in a roving podcast conducted by UsedWigs mastermind, Jeffrey “Jeff” Lyons.

Join us!

Friday, December 3rd, 7:00 – 10:00 PM
MilkBoy Coffee Acoustic
824 W. Lancaster Ave. Bryn Mawr, PA

Dammit. Now I have to walk all the way back to the car.

I will never pay full price for the Word of The Lord.

Please place your fat bearded hipsters in the middle.

I don’t like the way this cornball is looking at my wife. There’s gonna be trouble.

The kids at this amusement park are fat. Their food is large. This sign is necessary.

Our hotel, modest. The way the Amish intended.

Camper Von Bikethoven! Give it three weeks until you see a some dumb hipster trying to pull this off. Enjoy some more camper bike photos and paintings, then build your own why don’t cha. via @iamjolly

Speaking of… It’s pretty easy to tell the difference between those who bike to work for health reasons and those who do it for DUI reasons.

Ooopsie! Looks like Gizmodo’s Jason Chen made fun of a “Lazy Segway Mom” three years ago and just found out the woman was not actually lazy. She was in fact a “15-year cancer survivor who lost her left leg to the illness” and was just “helping take care of her grandniece.” Good lord I am not making fun of stupid-looking anonymous people ever again. Read the Giant Asshole’s (his words, not mine) apology here.

Julie Roberts’ Giant Mouthful of Teeth Are Back on The Big Screen: I bet you’d attract a larger audience if you added just one word to the end of the her latest horror movie title “Eat Pray Love”… that word being “Die”.

Don’t Forget: Blake Schwarzenbach’s new band — forgetters — has posted some new song clips. Go have a listen. EP Drops Sept. 21.

Congrats Phoenix! Best of luck rising from the ashes of your predatory student loans.

Awesome, Indeed! “Artists illustrate “Law & Order” plot synopses. Awesome.” via @timcarvell via @strangerslog

I Doot! The guests at The Clinton wedding got to pee pee and poo poo in style: $15,000 porta-potties.

We Love Sports! Dammit! My beach cruiser got a flat! There goes the .5 mile Bike stage of the Petite Triathlon. Hope the Boogie Board stage goes smoother.

Sit On It, Rudd! “Dinner for Schmucks? More like the Happy Days episode “Fonzie vs. The She Devils”.” Tweet by @RobPRocks

You Should Follow: Please check out Todd Barry‘s replies to the inane and semi-literate tweets of a very popular bad rapper:

Don’t worry. Pottery Barn is pretty good about refunds. RT @kanyewest Fur pillows are hard to actually sleep on

We could never hang. I love taxes. RT @kanyewest: I love everybody… only thing I don’t like is taxes.. me and taxes gone fight

True, but I’m still opening that typewriter repair shop. RT @kanyewest most businesses don’t make it out of their first year

Bad Idea #2354: Wishing the “Sh*t My Dad Says” show all the excitement, success and ratings that “Quarterlife” enjoyed. Fire your agent William Sh*tner.

Gear Head’s Up: Laurent Nivalle Photography: Le Mans Classic 2010 via Grain Edit

More Motorized Mayhem: This sweet ride was built in the 30s.

NO MORE ROBOTS! For The love of god, Japan, stop making things that will one day enslave us all.

Help Me: What’s the word for that “ashamed & miserable yet cocky & defiant” look always given by all the smokers outside my building?

Keeping Score at Facebook: Help our favorite disc jockey, WPRB’s Jon Solomon, get to 300 Facebook Friends before his bitter rival at Trash Flow Radio. The loser must dance atop a Q102 billboard on the PA turnpike for 24-straight hours (I think). For the love of god, follow now!

Oodles of Noodles: Watching a show about Okie Noodling. Interesting to learn about these terrifying creatures… and how they catch fish.

Quality Tweets of The Week Winners: View Tweets @Randazzoj @morgan_murphy @dubouchet @joshcomers and @toddmarrone.

Hollywood Baby News: Diablo Cody, the woman who made everyone officially tired of snark, just birthed a baby. She can’t decided between the names “Just Sayin’” or “Whatevs”

Breaking Breakfast News: Haven’t switched over to iced coffee, but wow, this iced omelet is very refreshing.

Pennsylvania Travel Tips: Heading to Dutch Wonderland with the family next month. It’s Dutch, so prostitutes and pot are totally cool, right?

Just Did Some Math… turns out the only people who enjoy Drag Queen entertainment MORE than me is every person on the planet.

I think it came out well.

Bad day? This should give you a glimmer of hope. Baby elephants make everything better. “These extraordinary images show the trust and understanding developed between children and orphaned elephants calves rescued from a forest.” See Photos & Read Story>

While I give SPIN good marks for its cover selections and subject matter in the early days (and especially for being a good alternative to Rolling Stone), the mag did publish a few of doozies. Behold some regrettable cover decisions:

Jimmy Fallon – March 2002 – What the? A comedian who is a frustrated musician?! This is groundbreaking stuff! Lester Bangs would be proud.  Photographer: “C’mon Jimmy, give me some air guitar! Yeah!” Jimmy: [giggle giggle].

Sting – July 1985 – We get it, Sting is hot… even wearing jams. But as a teen I read this mag to find out what the hell Michael Stipe was singing about, not to get a glimpse of Sting’s poking wet wiener head.

Charlie Sexton – May 1986 – Remember that awesome Charlie Sexton song? Of course you don’t. Little known fact: Falco lived in Charlie’s Sexton’s hair for 3 months.

Ozzy – September 1986 – Before he was a doddering old reality TV mess who regularly pees himself on stage, Ozzy was a pudgy hair metal chick. I’ve heard rumors he was the same guy who was in Black Sabbath in the 70s, but I find that impossible to believe.

Bon Jovi – November 1988 – SPIN answers the often asked question, “What does Jovi looked like pinching a loaf?” Oh, and thanks SPIN, I still have that condom in my wallet.

Everclear – September 1996 – Ahhhh… September ’96, I remember it well. That’s when the SPIN art department got the sweet set of Photoshop font filters. Impressive restraint, only using four effects at once. Everclear was downright inescapable for a two-year period, in a Smashmouth kind of way, played on every type of station all day long. Brutal. I want to punch his eyebrows.

Creed – September 2000 – Like most of you I stopped reading SPIN by now, but still, the second this issue hit the streets, cars should have been overturned and the SPIN corporate headquarters should have been set ablaze by commoners wielding pitchforks and torches. Everything wrong in the history rock music — I’m talking EVER, from day one when that white guy stole that riff from that black guy — can easily be encapsulated in this one preposterously solipsistic image depicting the  never-to-be-surpassed pinnacle of rock band douchebaggery: three AXE Body Spray mouthbreathers flanking a wee sad singer who is standing on a pile of gold records. Nice job, America. Let’s not harp on the photo though, I’m more concerned about one of the lesser subheads. I prefer the spelling “Rock Dwarves”… I need to contact LPA and see what they say.

Sugar Ray – September 2001 – C’mon everybody, “Eyeeeeeee just wanna fly… put your arms around me, baby!” By this time, you could have easily replaced “SPIN” with “People” and no one would have known the difference or cared.

Kiss – February 2002 – Obviously the editors wanted to stir up some shit by putting a 70s joke band on the cover with that oft-used headline/gimmick. I appreciate that, but let’s get to the failure part: It’s hard enough for a band to look bad-ass standing on the top floor of parking garage, but when one guy goes for the “the pouting, clawing kitty cat” when the shutter snaps, he immediately nullifies the “evil tongue, welcome to darkness” gesture made by the other clown.

Sum 41 – February 2003 – SPIN: “We’re thinking of covering you with fake blood and semen.” BAND: “Eh, take off you hosers, okay, eh, just make sure we have some serviettes and some Molsons, eh?”

Amy Winehouse – July 2007 – Cautionary tale to you hype slingers: one novelty song does not make a star. “New Queen of Soul!” Huh? Nice job Steve Kandell, way to keep some perspective. You hack.  FYI, six of Oprah’s best airbrushers were hired to simultaneously work on the cover for 2-days straight. Side note: Big points for Patton Oswalt mention on cover, but points deducted for using the word “Illest”.

Cover Facts:

I’m bad at math but it looks like:

• Kurt Cobain appeared on the most covers with 10
• Bono graced 8 covers
• Beck and Madonna each appeared on 6
• Natalie Imbruglia and Danzig had one each
• From Feb 2005 to December 2006, The Killers appeared on the cover three times.

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Photos by Tiffany Yoon and Kevin Ginsberg. Click thumbnails below.

[flickr-gallery mode="photoset" photoset="72157623550289705"]

More Funny Dogs & Stuff: www.cslacker.com

If you love the beach with no humans on it, you’ll probably dig some awe-inspiring photos of the shore sans people. This calendar is full of them, shot by photo ace Pat McCarthy. “Pat’s primary focus is capturing the beauty of the Jersey Shore from the Atlantic coast to the shores of the Delaware Bay.”

Price: $12 each or 2 for $20 0r 3 for $30

Buy: www.jerseyshorescapes.com

Enjoy these wonderful “found” photos from the John Maloof Collection:

“This was created in dedication to the photographer Vivian Maier, a street photographer from the 1950s – 1970s. Vivian’s work was discovered at an auction here in Chicago where she lived for 50 years but was originally a native to France. Her discovered work includes over 40,000 mostly medium format negatives. Born February 1, 1926 and passed away on Tuesday, April 21, 2009.”

Website: www.vivianmaier.blogspot.com

(via @parkview & @brookpete)