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This is when a Facebook rookie or clueless user makes a completely off-topic comment on your post thread instead of posting directly on your wall or sending you a message.

“Misguided Missive”

The king of newbie mistakes, inadvertently “posting” (publicly) on someone’s wall instead of sending them a “message” (privately).

“Disapostment”

One of the best things about Facebook is posting something and having people comment on it, hopefully in a positive light. When you see that beautiful tiny red notification beacon of back-patting light up with a number in the bottom right corner of your screen, you immediately become excited!

” Awesome, someone must have LOVED  my latest clever post! Who could it be? I’m so excited!… Let’s take a look… NO!!!!!!!!”

Disappointment, or as we now say, disapostment,  quickly sets in as you read the notification and it does not pertain to your post! Instead it’s a comment from some lame-o stranger (or a stepfriend) who also commented on some friend’s dumb movie quote you “liked” five weeks ago and forgot about.

“Dammit!! No more ‘liking’ stuff or commenting! Ever!!! It’s all about me!”

“Chattack”

You’re having a lovely evening drinking some wine, checking in with the old Facebook, seeing who’s up to what… having some giggles, looking at some old funny photos and…

BLOOOP! [Chat Window opens]

AGHH! Chat Attack!!!

Nooooooo! Shocked and dismayed, you immediately close Facebook without replying… and then close the browser window… and then shut off the computer and tip toe away from your desk being as quiet as you can. Shhhh!  (Why quietly? Facebook Chat can hear you!)

“Suggestshuns”

Facebook and other friends often suggest people you should be friends with. When you receive these Friend Suggestions, remember, the “Ignore” button is a very handy tool.

Keep in Touch:

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Twitter, the popular micro-blogging site made popular by Ashton Kutcher, will be unveiling a slew of new features when its highly-anticipated “Version 2.0″ debuts next month. Here’s a rundown:

Character Limit

The character limit for a “tweet” (Twitter parlance for a post) has been increased to 1040. “People have a lot more to say now than they did in 2006,” said Twitter spokesman Erich McDurgun. “And in this economy, people could use a little more of a good thing, am I right?”

Categories

Twitter will be adding category tabs to its bare-bones interface in hopes of facilitating tweet scanning and increasing general usability. “With users following hundreds, thousands and in some cases, millions of other Twitter users, we thought adding filtered categories would increase the user experience,” said McDurgun. “We’ve been compiling data for the past three years and we’ve found most of the tweets fall in a few distinct groups. Tweets will now automatically funnel into the new categories using complex algorithms and keyword analysis. Users  can simply click on the categories they wish to read and ignore others.”

The new top-level categories are:

• Lunch
• Gym
  
• Self-Promotion
• Follow Me
• Celebrity Ramblings
  
• Whining
• All
  

Based on  Twitter data, “Lunch” is the most most tweeted about subject by far, with “I’m thinking about a sandwich” as the most popular tweet ever.

“If Twitter serves one purpose and one purpose only, it allows friends to know what other friends are thinking about eating in real-time,” said McDurgun. “That’s what web 2.0 social networking is all about, my friend. You can also follow up after the meal with another tweet and let the public know how it all went down. Add a TwitPic of the meal and you’ve painted a nice picture for all to enjoy!”

McDurgun went on to break down a couple other categories in more detail:

GYM – “What fun is working out if you can’t tell everyone about it. Twitter is the perfect vehicle to remind people how much time you spend working out or thinking about working out.”

Self-Promotion – “Basically, it’s what we’re all about… “boasting” if you will, whether directly or indirectly.

Follow Me: “This category will contain tweets from new followers who follow you only because they are in the business of racking up followers and not actually caring what you tweet about. Remember, they are banking on a reciprocal follow. If you decline to reciprocate in a timely manner, expect an ‘unfollow’ quickly.”

“I think Celebrity Ramblings and Whining are fairly self explanatory. All allows you to see all unfiltered tweets.”

TwitPic Integration

Thanks to Version 2.0, you no longer have to open a new app to post or view a photo. The photo is displayed right in your tweet. “Just click on the photo and a new interface will pop up where your followers can comment and you can touch up the photo using a the new Photoshop Twixelator Lite Edition.”

Expanded Sharing

The current Twitter interface has only two options for a tweet: “Favorite” or “Reply.” Twitter 2.o has added the popular “Retweet” as an option, as well as “File,” “Save to Floppy Disk” and “Print.” The user will also have the ability to share the tweet with numerous, popular  social media sites with a simple click of the button.

Products Brand Products

Twitter is taking a page from some popular third-party applications and will now offer T-shirts and messenger bags emblazoned with any Tweet you wish. (Legal: Twitter owns all tweet content as stated in the Twerms of Use). “Mugs, baseball caps and duvets will be added in the near future.”

Future

“Everyone is saying Facebook is trying to be like us, which is pretty much true, but we also have to keep up with them and other social networking apps and their popular offerings, ” said McDurgan. “We have a lot of great new stuff in the pipeline… and I can’t go into it much now, but let’s just say were thinking about “Quizzes!”

King Kong Bundy, Jack Black, the Dances with Wolves guy? Excellent. I love old tech ads and I love watching celebs awkwardly shill for odd products. Here’s a nice collection from Adfreak. BTW, Jason Alexander’s McDLT Commercial is still the all-time greatest worst celeb product endorsement.

Website: adweek.blogs.com/adfreak/

Despite the horrific display, nearly two-thirds of those who were on board the Hindenburg survived its 1937 mishap. More Amazing Random Facts here.

Wrapper’s Delight: Making your horrible bus commute a little more bearable.

Fight! Smash! Win! Tom Morello + Boots Riley (The Coup) = Street Sweeper: www.streetsweepermusic.com

Watch Out! 104 Ways to Hilariously Ruin the Watchmen Movie [via Geekadelphia] (Congrats to Eric and his new pet, Attila The Bun.)

Are We in The New Silver Age of Television? Patton Oswalt thinks so. (He had me up until “Dollhouse,” which is puzzlingly bad.)

New Tech Always Becomes Old Joke: 12 “Dead Technology” Advertisements

Sarah Haskins on Doll Sex: Barbie’s Little Secret

In Between Tokes: Doug Benson (@DougBenson) just discovered Twitter and like a young teen boy who has found his special purpose, he can’t stop (thankfully he’s a hoot.)

Tom Waits Wednesdays: “The Piano Has Been Drinking” – Brian Seymour plays the songs of Tom Waits – Wednesdays 10pm/Late Happy Hour at Time Restaurant – 1315 Sansom St., Philly.

We Save Money for You at Two Guys, Naturally! This is for my brother. When we were kids my parents bought everything for us at this Neptune City, NJ department store (good memories.):

Free Mp3 Download: “Thrill Me” by  The Soundtrack of Our Lives [via brooklynvegan]. Sounds Like: If Bachman-Turner Overdrive was Swedish and good.

“Office Space” Celebrates 10th Anniversary: Wow, you’ve all been quoting Bill Lumbergh and Peter Gibbons for a decade now? It seems more like a century. Anyway, I learned about this event and many other comedy-centric tidbits at the Comedy Central blog: ccinsider.comedycentral.com.  Good stuff. Full “Office Space” article here.

You Are Wasting Money On Social Networking… and other Harsh Truths About Corporate Websites

Are You Sirius? 15 Companies That Might Not Survive 2009

Watch: “Important Things with Demetri Martin” – Starting tonight! Wednesdays at 10:30pm (EST) on Comedy Central.

Also Watch: “Delocated” starring comedians Jon Glaser (Conan O’Brien) and Eugene Mirman – Thursdays on Adult Swim, starting tomorrow. Watch Promo.

Keeping Watching: Thanks to @63merc, I now know “War of the Gargantuas” (1966) is available on Netflix. It is easily one of the best “big monster” movies to come out of Japan (from the makers of Godzilla!). It was always the highlight of “Monster Week” on the good ol’ 4:30 Movie (ABC TV NY). Check it:

Grover Was First Called “Gleep” This and more fun furry facts here: The Stories Behind 20 Muppet Favorites.

Can I Get a Spot? 20 signs this is your first time in a gym

Classic Footwear: Russ and I were discussing The Shoes the other night before one of our epically grand podcast recording sessions. These guys were ridiculously good. Enjoy some delish mop-topped power pop:

Let’s See Some Action… Figures! Giant Midwest Mecca of Nerditude in Oklahoma

Cool It! Want a cool green-meets-geek promotional gift for your company? The Eco-button seems pretty neat.

What’s Cuter Than a Sleeping Dormouse? Absolutely Nothing.

1. Sex.com – Sold for: $14 million on January 19th, 2006
2. Fund.com – $9,999,950 – Sold in 2008
3. Porn.com – Sold for $9,000,000 OR $9,500,000 sometime in 2007
4. Business.com – Sold for $7,500,000 in 1999
5. Diamonds.com – Sold for $7,500,000
6. Beer.com – Sold for $7,000,000
7. Casino.com – $5,500,000 – Sold to a private company in 2003
8. AsSeenOnTV.com – Sold for $5,100,000 in January of 2000
9. Korea.com – $5,000,000 – Sold in January of 2000
10. SEO.com – $5,000,000

Read The rest of the list here>

Comforting Headline of The Day: Thousands Of MySpace Sex Offender Refugees Found On Facebook

Flight of the Conchords on Tour! They’ll be landing in Philly on April 18th for two shows at the Tower Theater and everywhere else in the U.S. See dates.

Stop Tagging Me in Those Semi-Nude, Face-in-Toilet College Photos I am Secretly Proud of! 10 Privacy Settings Every Facebook User Should Know (via @jodyferry)

Also, please follow Scott Shrake’s Golden Rule for Tagging:

When tagging photos, practice the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. If you tag a picture where I look as fat and old as I actually am, I’m just gonna de-tag myself anyway, and for good measure I will find the worst picture I can of you and tag you in the middle of the night so it’s up there for several hours for your friends in different time zones to gawk at before you get to de-tag it.

Enjoy a One Night Stand with Todd Marrone! Drink some delicious FREE Victory beer this Friday, Feb 6th, with Todd and a bunch of other talented “young” artists who will be showing at The Main Line Art Center’s One Night Stand. (FYI, it’s Todd’s last year of eligibility due to his advanced age).

For one night only, Main Line Art Center opens our galleries to artists of all mediums ages 21-35. Emerging painters, jewelers, sculptors, photographers, potters, and multi-media artists are invited to bring up to three works to be displayed, viewed and sold. Over 25 artists have signed up already! Come grab a beer, thanks to sponsor Victory Brewing Company, support emerging artists and purchase one-of-a-kind affordable artwork.

Your WordPress Plugin Plug of the Day! “Widget Logic” is a great plugin to control sidebar widget placement on a specific page or post. I just implemented it on one of my client’s sites and it works well, you just need to know a little about Conditional Tags. It’s a snap. Thanks Alan Trewartha!

Thank You, Jesus! For bringing together two of my most favorite bands. The legendary Propagandhi will be in Philly on March 14th with hometown heroes Paint It Black. The Trocadero will be insane, bring your earplugs. If you can, buy your tix at the Troc box office. Fucking Ticketmaster wanted an extra $6.90 for one lousy $14 ticket (yes, I’m going alone). Show Info.

Battlestar Gets Brutal! Wow, Friday’s rebellion episode was quite a bloody good affair! As much as I HATE watching President Roslin and Gaius Baltar’s annoying faces and momentum-halting dialogue–so much so, I stopped watching last year–I came grovelling back for the final episodes. So far, I’m glad I did. Watch latest episode here.

Patrick Bateman Would Be Impressed: Card Observer, focuses on top-notch business card design.

Don’t Be Shy: What’s your guilty pleasure?

FREE MP3!: Dave Hill and his hot rock band Valley Lodge just posted a new song from their forthcoming CD. Download: “If It Takes All Night” (via Internet Explosion)

Prescient ’80s geeks rule: “Long before anyone had heard of the Internet, early home computer users could read their morning newspapers online … sort of. Steve Newman’s 1981 story was broadcast on KRON San Francisco.” (via Metafilter)