Few Quick Distractions Before I Hit The Big Parade and Behold the Mayhem!

Porcelain Suffers Crushing Defeat: I like Kevin Smith a lot (the man, not his movies), he’s a funny no-bullshit kind of guy and a very informed movie reviewer. So I’m sad to hear (and see!) just how obese he has gotten. Smith recently broke a toilet. Ooof! Pull it together Kev, quit the pot, hit the gym and put some photos of Chris Farley and John Candy on your fridge.

Crystal Ball: The Onion predicted Joe The Plumber back in 93.

Looting: Phillie fans = small time. Republicans = BIG TIME!

Pumped Up! Listen to Phil’s announcer Harry Kalas make the final call while watching Chris Wheeler’s awesomely aerobic and silent celebration.

“Why is he swinging a pocket watch in front of our faces?” Beware: Barack Obama’s speeches contain the hypnosis techniques! Looks like he’ll get at least 33 Million votes.

Hear More Seymour: Brian Seymour celebrates the Phils victory on Saturday night, Nov 1st:  Fergie’s Pub – 1214 Sansom St. – 9-11pm – one long set, don’t be late.

Photabulous! Wildlife Photographer of the Year winners announced

I Spy with My Little Eye: Learn how to build and use tiny surveillance devices!

I Smell Scam: Philly fix my car! Maybe not, you decide.

Halloween Warning: Scaring Tyrone is not a good idea.

Free MP3: I love Fucked Up’s new CD The Chemistry of Common Life. You will too.  Download MP3: “Twice Born” [via Matador]

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TAGS: Barack Obama • Brian Seymour • Chris Wheeler • Fergies Pub • Fucked Up • Harry Kalas • hypnosis • Kevin Smith • Phillies • Philly • Photography • Stefano Unterthiner • The Onion • Wildlife