"You can just tell that dog is a really good guy" is something I think to myself at least six times a week.
— Zachary? (@GreenishDuck) June 12, 2013
Asked a cute guy at the dog park if his dog was a puppy he stared off dramatically and said "Yep… she's pretty new to this world" BYE NERD
— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) July 15, 2015
I've started wearing fatigues to justify my dog's reaction when I come home.
— Anthony DeVito (@AnthonyDeVito) February 8, 2013
why these dogs look like they bout to drop the most fire album of 2015 pic.twitter.com/NkeNVphiyw
— Dan McQuade (@dhm) February 25, 2015
I asked my dog what he'd actually do if he caught the Fed Ex person, and he admitted he hadn't thought that part through yet.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) May 5, 2016
If a woman wanted to marry me just for my dog I'd totally get it.
— Doth (@DothTheDoth) February 7, 2016
Not sure how I feel about someone else’s dog eating my trash.
— Erica (@SCbchbum) March 30, 2013
ADVICE: When you see someone for the first time in ten years, don't lead off with, "Hey, how's your dog?"
— Chip Chantry (@ChipChantry) August 28, 2013
Sorry I can't make it, my dog fell asleep on my lap. There's literally nothing I can do.
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) January 9, 2015
I don't have the patience to date someone with a dog named Bella.
— Mike Primavera (@primawesome) March 2, 2016
STARTLE your partner during lovemaking by announcing that you want to build a dog hospital.
— MKupperman (@MKupperman) November 18, 2015
Imagine a small dog with hooves. Picture it galloping through a casino. Everyone is cheering. Security will never catch it! There it goes!!
— Ted Travelstead (@trumpetcake) August 2, 2013
[DOG MAGICIAN] think of a color, any color…is it…gray?
[OTHER DOG] oh my GOD
— Cat Damon (@CornOnTheGoblin) January 25, 2015
I'm sorry I pet your baby like a dog. I didn't know what else to do with it.
— Daniel Carrillo (@DanielRCarrillo) October 30, 2015