Halloween Costume Dos and Don'ts 2008
By Jeff on Oct 29, 2008 in Daily Distractions, Lists, Movies, Music, Television | Comments
Don't You Dare:
Juno - You think it will be so cute to go as the hoodie-wearing, quip-spewing pregnant teen and her dorky boyfriend in the calculated dorky retro gym outfit, right? So does every other couple on the planet. Avoid the urge.
Sarah Palin - Sarah the Hunter, Sarah the Pageant Contestant, Sarah the Porn Star, all lame... very, very lame. You'll be swimming in a sea of Palins. Uck.
"Mad Men" character - "Yeah, look at me! I'm smoking... my hair is slicked back... my sweater's tight... my lips are really red... and I really do work in advertising..." Ugh. Soap opera + advertising people = insufferable.
Iron Man - Unless you're under the age of 12 or can actually build a costume that can fly and blow shit up, don't do it. Very hard to pee, also.
Elisabeth Hasselbeck - This is for your own safety. Someone might punch you... a few times.
The Joker - Inevitably, some joker (literally) will be dressed as the Batman nemesis carrying around some pills... too sad... too soon.
Travis Barker on Fire - Not sure how you'd even pull that off, so don't. Fake paper flames are so weak.
Joe The Plumb... - Please don't. He's already forgotten.
Please Do:
"Hope" Poster - Support Obama while having fun. Apply "Hope" poster to poster board, cut out head hole, paint your face and hair red, off-white and blue then stick you melon through the hole.
"No Country for Old Men" Guy - Grab a jean jacket, put on a psychotic dead stare and get a wig that resembles the sweet long locks Javier Bardem sports in the film. Quietly threaten people all night long.
Brooke Hogan - Big guys only.
The Jonas Brothers - Petite ladies only.
David Duchovny - Easy one fellas: Dress like Mulder, look sullen and fashion a large erection in your pants. Hit on everyone.
Charlie Manuel - Everyone's love the Phillie's skipper! Just place a teeny-tiny Phillies cap (maybe, the ice cream cup version) on top of your large head of whitened hair (baby powder), jam a couple pillows in gut area of a tight baseball uniform, and insert piece of straw in mouth to hammer home the lovable southern boy motif. Expect lots of hugs.
Raffaello Follieri - Time to bust out your Italian accent and old-timey, striped prison outfit. Hold photo of Anne Hathaway so people get the joke right away.
"The Love Guru" - Absolutely no one saw the movie, but don't let that stop you. Bonus: you can revive your awesome Austin Powers accent too! Like I said, no one saw it and will know the difference.
Miley and Billy Ray - Make sure to maximize creep factor by sucking face the entire time at party.
Hans and Franz - This oldie-but-never-a-goodie is back! It's so lame, it's gotta be funny.
2009 List: Halloween Costume Dos and Don’ts 2009
Tags: Brooke Hogan • Charlie Manuel • Halloween • Iron Man • Javier Bardem • Mad Men • Obama Costume • Philadelphia • Phillies • Philly • Raffaello Follieri • The Jonas Brothers • Zach Efron
