Interview: David Silverman

David Silverman is an Emmy-Award-winning animator, director and producer who has worked on “The Simpsons,” “Monsters, Inc,” “Ice Age,” and much, much more.

{Editors note: I’m fairly certain Zank used a “Do you put off a sexy vibe?” quiz ripped from a Cosmopolitan Magazine I found on his desk. Our apologies.}

When someone tells you you’re sexy, how do you react?

I pay them. Strippers have to make a living, right?

When you are on a date and they are not making the first move, what do you do?

Wash their windows. Breaks the ice 7 out of 10 times.

A typical gym outfit for you is?

Halter top, g-string, and a paper bag with two eyeholes.

When walking down the street some construction workers start giving you the ol’ catcall, what do you do next?

I call my congressman. And he’s a little tired of hearing about my problems.

What is the sexiest thing in your underwear drawer?

Remember when you were a kid and “underwear” was the funniest word ever created? I’m sorry, could you repeat the question?

You’re going to the office holiday party. What do you wear?

False eyelashes and a bathrobe.

You spot a hottie at the office party. What do you do to get their attention?

Bat my eyelashes, open the robe.

If you were a drink, what drink would you be? And why?

I’d be a Mickey Finn, because I nearly fell asleep trying to figure an answer this furshluggena question.

What is your signature move for heating up a conversation?

My signature move is now available on a collector’s plate, hand signed. Courtesy of The Franklin Mint.

How do you rate yourself on the hot-sauce scale of sexiness?

Depends. Is that a metric scale?

You bump into your latest obsession at the grocery store. Too bad you haven’t washed your hair or brushed your teeth. How do you pull off being sexy?

I start wearing meat.

The last time you passed by you full-length mirror naked, what did you think to yourself?

I thought, “This is a tough way to make a living.”

Can I borrow ten bucks?

I’m sure you can. You must have friends.

Thanks David.

You gonna finish that potato?

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