Live-Quessay: Project Runway, Season 5, Ep 4

Do the judges fall all over themselves enuf about Hedley or Fartlin or whatevah the Bettie Page girl’s name is? Didn’t her dress last week take me all the way back to Kohl’s? Is recherché too kind a term for her and her (cough, barf) “aesthetic”?

Does the Mormon (Keith, who unsurprisingly was a gymnast, he’s obviously 4’9″) have enough tattoos?

Where did Heidede Klümchen get those wispy child’s bangs suddenly, along her upper forehead? Didn’t Josef Mengele have those same bangs?

OTOH, Did Heidchen endear herself to me last week by saying, “If I were 10 years younger, I would wear that…”?

Am I always already 10 years younger than I look?

Is Swayde (<- it’s my age! I have to admit he looks younger than me, but he’s much, much fatter and “fat don’t crack”) referring to himself in the third person way tired already?

Apolo Ohno? What kind of a name is that? I’ve never heard of him, have you?

Is Stella retarded? Is she Tim Gunn’s natural birth mother, too?

Does the guy from Michigan — let’s call him Joe Camel — does his family own a party store, or what?

Has anyone ever seen Terri and post-crack Whitney Houston in the same room together? Does everyone like Terri’s ’90s speak, such as “Oh no she di-uhnt”? Do you?

How ’bout the “Liberian” girl? Her American English is pretty perfect for a refugee, no?

I’ve watched all the eps so far: Why have I never even noticed Jerell? Is he an Aquarius or other sign that makes you invisible?

New words that are as lackluster and pre-fab as Keith‘s assigned “Bravo reality villain” persona: Skort? Tanorexic?

Speaking of Blayne, is “holla atcha boy” not a literal English translation of “Heil Hitler”?

Blayne’s a bug-eyed methhead, right?

THESE ARE UNIFORMS? REALLY? DO YOU KNOW WHAT A SPORTS TEAM UNIFORM LOOKS LIKE?

How impressed am I that Danielle went to a “boarding school”? Am I so impressed that I almost believe him?

Has anyone seen Heidi Hitler and Norma Desmond in the same room together, with HH’s outfit tonight?

PREDICTIVE SPOILER ALERT: It’s pretty clear, isn’t it, that Bettie Page will win this season, because the whole judges’ panel is blowing her kisses constantly? I call it right now — How much is your wager?

As for the loser: “My surrealism”?

Come on. My gringo ass.

TAGS: "Liberia" as a state of mind • Adolf Hitler • Bettie Page • Body Culture • Fascism • fashion • Heidi Klum • Homosexuality • Nazism • Peter Gunn • Predictability • Predictions • Project Runway • Salvador Dali • Talent • Tim Gunn • Vampirism • Yoko Ono