Tonight on Your Local News!
By Jeff on Jul 26, 2009 in Gift Ideas, Lists, News | 0 Comments
Headlines ripped from the pages of our book Quality Workday Distractions, available now for gift giving! Voted “Best Gift Ever” by this site.
- Inventor Kid Invents Useless Piece of Crap!
- Disturbing Hidden Camera Footage Reveals Local Health Club Still Playing Fabulous Thunderbirds Videos!
- Cancer Awareness Bracelets Found to Cause Cancer!
- ‘Real World’ Cast Member Dies During ‘Gauntlet’ Event, Doctor Determines Cause of Death to Be Old Age!
- $400 in Singles Later, Man Still Thinks He Has a Pretty Good Shot with Stripper!
- NBC’s Dateline Catches Last Predator, Internet Now Completely Safe!
- 99% of Indians Polled Find Gay Cowboy Movie Very Realistic!
- Rogue Second Life Avatar Creates Third Life, Where He Plays a Bald, Overweight Accountant with 3 Kids!
- Trader Joe’s Employee Goes from ‘Very Friendly’ to ‘Very Irritating’ in a Matter of Seconds!
- Rabid Sports Fan Hits Rock Bottom, Joins Fantasy Paintball League!
- Kevin Costner and a Really Bad Premise Team Up Once Again for New Movie!
- Rick James’ Ghost Assaults Two Women; Smokes Crack!
- ‘Are You Fatter Than a Fifth Grader?’ Gets Green Light on FOX!
- Ironic T-Shirts Clash at SXSW Festival, Thousands of Feelings Reported Hurt!
- NYC Rats Consider Stomach Stapling to Deal with Rising Obesity Problem!
- Thousands of Viewers Reported Sick After ‘The View’ Goes High Def!
- Forensic Experts Reveal Footprints Were Not God’s; You Were in Fact, Walking Alone during Your Most Troublesome Times!
- Jim Belushi Searches Fruitlessly Online for ‘According to Jim’ Save Our Show Campaign!
- Microsoft Employees Brace for Severe Backlash from Their Disappointed Kids Upon Receipt of Zunes Instead of iPods on Christmas Morning!
- Misplaced Script Found in Martin Scorsese’s Eyebrows 20 Years Later!
- Hulk Hogan’s Daughter Tests Positive for Gamma Radiation!
- Madonna Adopts Child in Africa, Buys Matching Luggage in Paris!
- Paula Deen Caught Eating an Entire Stick of Butter While Filming Cooking Show!
- Traffic Copter Crashes to Earth, Fiery Carnage Causes Eastbound Delays!
- After Years of Living a Lie, Lead Singer of Toto Admits He’s Never Really Been to Africa!
- Despite Numerous Requests, Il Divo Still Refuses to Sing “Whip It” in Concert!
- Child Lost When Mother Over-Mulches Garden Bed, Massive Search Continues!
- Suge Knight ‘Punk’d’ Episode Goes Horribly Wrong; Cast and Crew Found Dead!
Remember, comedian Jim Gaffigan says, “UsedWigs.com is like the bacon of the internet. Mmm. UsedWigs.”
Price: $10.95
Buy Here: Amazon
