Adios Grandmaster Mow Mow
By Jeff on Jun 2, 2008 in Daily Distractions | 2 Comments
After ten years of service, two houses, three blades changes, four spark plugs, one tune-up, no oil changes and a general lack of upkeep; my lawnmower finally went kaput yesterday when angry puffing clouds of white smoke came billowing out of the… um… let’s call it a carburetor, shall we?
Bad scene.
When the smoke subsided, I continued on a for a bit but finally gave in when the duct tape I had holding the right-side handle together became unglued and I was no longer able to push the mower forward. I finished my lawn dragging the mower behind me, hoping my neighbors had better things to do than watch a sweat-drenched idiot trudge through tall damp grass.
To add to the pathetic nature of the mower, half of the plastic knob atop the pull cord broke off a while back so I could not wrap the necessary two fingers around it to successfully yank the cord and start the thing. I had to wrap the cord around my fingers a couple time and pull. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. I would have fixed it but I couldn’t find the duct tape.
Ten years is a pretty good run for a neglected weed mower, and I understand the concept of built-in obsolescence so I wasn’t too upset. I bought the mower with money from our wedding, also purchased that year: our grill, coffee maker and toaster. All, oddly enough, broke down within the last month too.
I’ll end this extremely mundane and personal post with a mini salute to my old 4.0 horsepower mower. I normally don’t get too attached to inanimate objects, but Grandmaster Mow Mow served me well and will be missed. Mow Mow has requested to be cremated, I think that’s a pretty good idea.
Question: Besides the expected bike, car and machine gun, is there a piece of machinery that you’ve grown attached to? Something you’ll have a hard time parting with as you put it out next to your disgusting garbage cans awaiting the final death blow of the garbage truck’s massive crunching-crushers?
Laptop? George Foreman Grill? Pacemaker? Anything?
TAGS: built-in obsolescence • humor • inanimate objects • Jeff Lyons • lawn mower
