Multicultural Guest Service Enhances Suburban Parties

Gerry and Maddie McMonahan of Paoli, PA, wanted to impress their new neighbors in their development with their "hip" friends from their old neighborhood, but sadly, they had none. That is, until they saw an ad for Party People in The House, LLC, in Philadelphia magazine.

Known as Party Peeps, the year-old Philadelphia-based company offers a rainbow of ethnic and cultural "city types" who will gladly attend the most mundane suburban shindigs and pretend to be the client's best friends, college roommates, ex-lovers, or former traveling companions, showing all in attendance just how cultured and connected the host is.

"We always wanted some black friends but didn't know where to find them or what to say to them when we did," said Gerry as he was preparing for his gathering by hiding his Sports Illustrated, Entertainment Weekly and People magazines and strategically replacing them on the Ikea coffee table with the latest issues of Art Forum, Interview and Vibe. "Party Peeps made it nice and easy for us because they offer a wide selection of types," Gerry added with a giggle. "I don't know where they find these people!"

The company makes it easy for the most buttoned-down Caucasian professionals to spice up their soirées with interesting multicultural people who will pep things up with their outré dress, worldly accents and the much-needed ability to start impromptu dance parties.

Diverse Menu

Party Peeps offers a large menu of colorful "characters" guaranteed to add some flavor (and flava!) to any fête, captivating guests with their choice of diverse lifestyles, fascinating professions and abstruse interests. Invite one, or chose a group of these "party peeps" a la carte. Here's a sampling of the menu:

Acerbic, Intellectual/Stylish Gay - The real ones are hard to find without this service. "You know, give me one like the guys on Queer Eye!" customers proclaim

Hispanic Deejay - Edgy; extra charge for turntables and records

Serious Black Artist/Intellectual - Wearing traditional African garb and wire-rim spectacles (gray dreads optional)

Sexy Grad Student from Italy or Greece - Both genders available! Always ready to flirt Mediterranean-style with your guests

The Well-Heeled Wine Expert - Older, genteel gent in corduroy blazer ready to expound on the virtues of whatever fine "vintages" you were able to scrounge from the clearance bin at Discount Liquor Barn

Important Japanese Filmmaker - Chain-smokes and constantly talks about his (or her!) love of Jimi Hendrix and Yasmine Bleeth

Cute Asian-Girl Designer - Who is obsessed with Hello Kitty and all things Sanrio

Prim-but-Sexy British Couple - Equipped with posh accents and wonderfully saucy stories; think Hugh Grant and Emma Thompson

Alterna-Chick - Caustic, dismissive (claims to have no idea what Desperate Houswives is) yet oddly approachable

Saucy Woman of a Certain Age - One part Mrs. Roper, one part Mrs. Robinson, she's frowsy, blowsy, and doesn't act her age!

Singer-Songwriter Guy - Scruffily handsome and a good listener, possibly kickin' the habit (extra charge for acoustic guitar)

Australian World Traveler - Will put up with every lame Crocodile Dundee reference your guests make and show off his alligator-wrestling scars with very little prompting

Mysterious Psychic/Spiritualist - Enchants all with spot-on predictions and ornate dress and accessories (also very slutty); think of a young Stevie Nicks. Also available: Drag Psychic

Activists - Will tell you what's wrong with everything

Computer Guy in Band - He's got big hands and feet and still wears black jeans; he will tell you how to install proper virus protection or how lame the latest Modest Mouse CD is.

"We also ordered two authentic Irish guys, um, I mean blokes!" beamed Maddie as she unwrapped recently purchased Ludacris and Clancy Brothers CDs recommended through Party Peeps's optional music consulting service. "They're going to pretend to be my cousins from County Clare. Being Irish is very in. Ron [owner of Party Peeps] said not worry if they drop the 'C' or 'F' words a lot because they do it in a charming, inoffensive way. I'm so looking forward to this!"

Ready to Impress

All "party people" are given a one-page fact sheet about the host(s) before the festivities so they are fully prepared to profess their fondness for their "old friend" and bring up a flattering tale at a moment's notice. Dramatizations (actual dialogue may vary):

The Singer-Songwriter: "Jake and I go way back! We were in this ska-punk band back in high school. He was crazy, a rebel, but very smart too! It was tough turning down that major-label deal, but knowing Jake could finish up his accounting degree at Villanova made it worthwhile."

Alterna-Chick: "Christy and I traveled Europe for, like, an entire year and hit every museum from the Uffizi to the Hermitage. In St. Petersburg, we were almost kidnapped by Russian mobsters. She's trouble, let me tell ya!"

Party characters are priced at a reasonable hourly rate, and there is a discount when you rent five professional guests or more. To keep in character, all pro guests will show up fashionably late and make a grand entrance. "Sorry, we were just at What-His-Face's latest show at the So-and-So Gallery!"

Party Peeps is also perfect for the single person looking to dazzle new dates. "I just started seeing this chick who reads books and knows a lot about art and crap," said restaurant supplier Justin Ivoryson. "She wanted to meet my friends and I realized my crew just plays Playstation all day and goes to sports bars. Then I heard about Party Peeps and asked them to send over some smart folks pronto. It worked like a charm! Two drama queens and one German art professor later and I'm so in!"

The hosts are not the only ones enjoying this fantastic new party staffing service. The freelance party peeps, many of whom are pursuing careers as actors, really enjoy the work.

"It's a bit excruciating the first hour or so, lots of whispering, pointing and some hiding of valuables," said actor, dancer, deejay and hired party guest Marco Mendes. "But once the drinks kick in, everyone is eager to chat me up and ask about my tattoos, my tan and my equipment."

Jeff Lyons
Suburban Beat Reporter

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