Nudity Trounces Modesty!

If you’re an aficionado of the nude male form and all its absurdly wondrous variations, there is no better place for your viewing enjoyment than the YMCA Men’s locker room in Athensville, PA where bare-ass nakedness reigns supreme. Putting on clothes after a refreshing shower is not a speedy and rushed-through process for the majority of these gregarious gym guys of all ages who swim, work out and socialize at the Y.

In fact, these slow dressers prefer to march about the industrial carpeted floors au naturel, allowing their various flapping folds of flesh to swing freely and hang about as they chat to one another about sports, work and other sundry conversations. Distended, rotund paunches and hirsute, hunched backs dripping with sweat mingle with finely tuned, athletic torsos and ripped delts in grand convivial fashion.

Shy, modest and no-nonsense types once ruled the deodorant-tinged environs, quickly taking off and putting on their gym clothes in glaringly rude silence. Nary a word was uttered between these antisocial, apparel-loving men as they donned their clothes as if they were in some strange clothes-putting-on contest. But times have changed. Men who are comfortable with their bodies—and more importantly, comfortable staring at another fellow’s man-breasts or pendulous scrotum as they talk about mortgage rates—now have the freedom to high five, back slap and trade good-natured quips without being weighed down by the oppressive confines of clothing.

Now it’s perfectly acceptable to walk straight out of the shower to your locker, stop and chat to a couple of friends for a spell, walk over to the sink area to shave and then proceed to the bathroom stalls for a leisurely number-two without once thinking of grabbing a towel to cover up.

“After a good workout you need to air out your bits and pieces for a while before you put on your clothes,” said Thomas Sciarapini, a large bear of a man who just completed an entire issue of US Weekly as he slowly jogged on a treadmill for his usual 25-minute workout. “If ya put your clothes on too soon after your shower and you’re still wet, mold or something can build up in those hard to reach places and ya don’t want that. Yuck!”

Sciarapini continued as he arose from sitting on one of the numerous old wooden benches that have seen and felt their fair share of bare, moist buttocks. “It’s better to just walk around and let nature handle the drying process. 20 to 30 minutes should do the trick.”

By the looks of the unabashed nudity pervading the locker room during any a normal weeknight, many agree with Sciarapini’s corporeal-based scientific reasoning. Still, there are a few members of the old guard who won’t give in.

“I just like to get in and get out without much, if any, conversation,” said long-time Y member Charles Ryan. “But it’s really difficult getting dressed without some nude guy standing in front of you yapping up a storm, talking about the Eagles or worse, asking you if a mole on his thigh might be skin cancer. It always feels like a bad scene from Oz might break out at any moment.”

Jeff Lyons
International Culture Reporter

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