Much-Heralded Office Shower Becomes Less-Heralded Storage Area

After 26 months of almost 100 percent inactivity, OviTech Solutions’ office shower has been designated the new official storage area for copy paper, file folders, and presentation binders. Office manager Pam Pringle announced in an intra-office email.

The audibly disappointed Pringle described the situation, “When they first designed the office, we had high hopes for the shower. Everyone said we needed at least two shower stalls since many of the employees would be biking and running to and from work. We’re a technology company with lots of young, energetic people, so it made sense.”

“I think our CEO, Red, used it once the first week we moved in, after a quick lunchtime run. He made a big deal about it, walking around the office in his sweaty clothes for a good while. He hasn’t run since. No one has.”

Programmer Chris Duffy, whose cube sits adjacent to the new utility and storage center/closet, nodded and added: “People just started putting crap in the shower — old monitors, boxes, food wrappers… there wasn’t room anywhere else, I guess. I took the giant bottle of Prell last month, hate to see that go to waste.”

Pringle added, “The shower was hip and humanizing in a way, but converting it makes more sense from a square-inchage [sic] perspective.”

Just a month earlier, OviTech Solutions had converted its “gym” room — which consisted of a stationary bike, a treadmill, two Thighmasters, and a Bowflex — into a new sales office, retrofitted with eight space-saver cubes. The gym equipment was offered to the employees at cost plus 10 percent. No takers.