Orangutans Rule, The Office Goes German and Philly Gets More Classic Rock!

By Jeff on Aug 27, 2008 in Daily Distractions, Tech | 0 Comments

“Right Turn, Clyde!” I usually forget everything I read at night by the time I wipe the morning sleepies from my eyes, but here’s a little tidbit on primate intelligence that stuck with me:

“There is a saying among primate keepers that if you give a screwdriver to a chimp, it will throw it at someone. If you give a screwdriver to a gorilla, it will scratch itself. But if you give a screwdriver to an orangutan, it will let itself out of its cage.” – Christine Kenneally, The First Word: The Search for the Origins of Language.

(You probably already knew this, being a huge fan of the world’s greatest orangutan documentary, like me.)

Continuing this thought… based on today’s wretched TV ads, if you a give a screwdriver to a middle-age white dad, he will immediately jam it in a plugged-in toaster and electrocute himself in hilarious fashion. Don’t worry though, he will be tended to by his much smarter wife (tsk! tsk!) and shown how to properly use the tool by his precocious 4-year-old child using a “Daddy, you’re such a dumb-ass!” tone. Ugh.

Office Über Alles: Videogum reports on The German Version Of The Office.

Philly Radio Gets Worse? Yes, It’s Actually Possible: The following might sound like satire, but sadly it is not. WYSP, always in a neck-and-neck race with WMMR for the planet’s shittiest radio station, is adding even more GnR, Metallica and Ozzy:

“Now billed as “94YSP The Rock You Grew Up With From the ’70s, ’80s and ’90s,” the station will play more from such artists as AC/DC, Def Leppard, Guns N Roses, Ozzie Osbourne, Pink Floyd, Van Halen and Aerosmith. The station will continue to play more recent artists such as Nirvana and Pearl Jam.”

Don’t worry, they’ll still spin some new stuff:

“WYSP management said the new format was not traditional classic rock, in an oldies sense. The station planned to play new material by Metallica and AC/DC.”

The other day I actaully heard a deejay on one of the stations get fake pumped up for a Billy Idol two-fer quickly followed by an AC/DC give-away promotion weekend thingamagig. Remember kids, no matter how bad your job is, you will never leave work with a sould more crushed than that poor guy. {via Inquirer}

Screw Michael Phelps: Pop Candy reports “America has won the World Air Guitar Championships.”

Got a Beef with Adobe? If you’re a designer, I bet you do! So join the crowded club and post some of your own Adobe-related problems and gripes (and kudos if you have some) like these:

“Stop creating new features and make your software fast, stable and straightforward.”
“Lower your prices.”
“Please make a lightweight version of the PDF reader”

The site has the attention of Adobe, so your venting should make a difference. Until then, I will continue to bang my mouse repeatedly and curse Dreamweaver CS3 with very very salty language for the whole offiice to enjoy.

What The Geeks Are Watching: Hippie Purchases Smart Car, Gets Chased By Ninjas On Rollerskates

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