Philly Dog Walker Expands Business to Include Musicians

Philadelphia - Vicki Larkin was worried. Her boyfriend Scott seemed depressed. He was sleeping late, acting grumpy and thumbing his nose at any suggestion of exercise or a change to a healthier lifestyle.

Scott plays bass in Cousin Tweedy, a popular Philly-based alt-country band that gigs about three to four times a week. Scott stays up till the wee hours, drinks copious amounts of scotch and rarely sees Vicki, who works during the day as an account executive.

“If I was home, I’d make sure he’d get out of the house and eat right,” laments a concerned Vicki. “But I can’t, so I had to think out of the box for a solution to this problem.”

“One day I saw this professional dog walker in our apartment building. Watching how good she was with the doggies and how happy the little guys seemed gave me a great idea. I struck up a conversation with her, and 10 minutes later I scheduled her for 4 half-hours visits each week with Scott.”

Fast Friends

Anna Watson has been walking dogs for six years and makes a good living. “I was looking to expand my business. I truly love dogs but they get a bit boring. You know, lots of one-sided conversations. So taking on lonely musicians needing exercise and company sounded very intriguing.”

“The first time I went to get Scott, around 11:00am on a rainy Tuesday, he was a bit timid and groggy. I think he just woke up. But after a little coffee and some playtime together (Guitar Hero, Daily News Jumble), he really perked up and seemed to like me.” Said a very pleased Anna.

Now, every time I go to the door, Scott bounds out of his room and greets me very enthusiastically. He keeps jumping up and down until I pat him on the head and give him his favorite treats, a gummy bear and a Marlboro Light. He is so sweet. I’ll say ‘Does somebody want to get some coffee-woffee?’ or ‘Who wants to go to the guitar shop and by some new stringy-wingies?’ and he’ll slobber happily as we prepare to go outside.”

Watson recommends taking it slow with housebound musicians. You have to gain their trust. They see most humans as “club-owner” types, who just want to rip them off and not pay them.

When you walk them around the city, they may growl at people who regularly bathe because the soap and deodorants are very foreign to their sense of smell. Sunscreen is also a must before you take them out for a walk. “Many of these nocturnal beings have not been in the sunlight in months and prolonged exposure to its harmful rays could permanently scar their ashen skin.

“I keep a bunch of pieces of old frozen pizza in my pocket to give to Scott as reward for behaving well,” beams Anna. “Sometimes when we happen upon another musician on the street, he’ll want to play or ask if they got representation or label interest. It’s sooooo cute.”

Results Are In

Vicki is ecstatic with the results. “Scott is a changed man. He showers almost daily and talks to me for a good twenty minutes before he picks up his guitar and puts on his headphones. Our relationship is definitely heading in the right direction.”

“And I just looooove Anna. She is extremely encouraging when he is good, She taught Scott to put his dishes in the sink. And she is very strict with him when he misbehaves. She said he is making good progress with his little peeing on the seat problem and still needs to remind him to get out of bed when he has to puke.”

Vicki adds, “Plus I love that Anna is homely, so there isn’t a great chance Scott will cheat on me again.”

Tags: dog walker • dogs • hipsters • humor • indie-music • Musicians • pets • Philadelphia • Philly • Satire