Here’s a large piping-hot pie with extra tweets, enjoy a slice!
This pizza looks like a pie chart of 100% good news.
— Nathan Buckley (@duplicitron) November 16, 2012
You know how kids peer into the window of toy stores? I do that with pizza places.
— Amanda Brooke Perrin (@brookeperrin) November 2, 2013
Sick of having to go to 2 different huts to buy pizza & sunglasses.
— blake (@Leemanish) March 24, 2013
A seagull once dropped a slice of pizza onto the windshield of a cab I was in, so the cabbie turned on his wipers.→
— Chris Murphy (@chrismurphyusa) March 30, 2015
Starve a cold, pizza a panic attack.
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) January 13, 2016
My niece is running around without a shirt screaming pizza and now so am I.
— Sean Gabay (@ixSEANxi) January 19, 2014
When I was your age we called "designing your own pizza," "ordering a pizza."
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) March 16, 2014
Try our new boneless pizza crust.
— Wendy Molyneux (@WendyMolyneux) January 25, 2014
I hope I'm never as lonely as the "Pizza Slice" button on my microwave.
— Ted Travelstead (@trumpetcake) April 20, 2013
Pizza Hut added bacon to the cheese in the stuffed crust because sending one of their drivers to straight up strangle you is still illegal.
— Don Nichols (@TheDairylandDon) September 16, 2014
I can fit/cook three pizza bagels on my belly in the tanning bed.
— Ted Travelstead (@trumpetcake) April 21, 2012
I took my daughter to Applebee’s tonight! (she had to poop on the way to the pizza place)
— Bryan Donaldson (@TheNardvark) August 4, 2012
Amazing how much safer my driving gets when there’s a large pepperoni pizza riding shotgun.
— Erica (@SCbchbum) November 24, 2013
an island called shit pizza island where they only serve hawaiian pizza
— julia davidovich (@juliadavidovich) June 1, 2013
*spends 25 minutes creating a Pizza Hut account online to avoid a 3 minute phone call*
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) May 21, 2015
“I see you washed your bathrobe.” – the pizza delivery guy
— Quinn Sutherland (@ReelQuinn) September 7, 2014
Your own, personal, pizza A pizza you don't have to share No one will dare Reach out touch crust!! #DeepDishMode
— Lizzie Molyneux (@LizzieMolyneux) August 27, 2013
I don't even call Pizza Hut to complain anymore when there's a deflated basketball in the pizza box.
— Matthew Dolkart (@matthewdolkart) November 4, 2012
Skipping school to attend Pizza Hut buffets made me the man I am today.
— Mark Leggett ✂︎ ☹ (@markleggett) May 3, 2014
Business Idea: Pizza delivery people who dress like they're going to a party so your neighbors don't know you're eating it alone
— Bridger Winegar (@bridger_w) March 8, 2013
Say "dessert pizza" again, you piece of shit.
— 2016 Jason (@longwall26) October 20, 2013
I didn't wake up alone if you count pizza boxes.
— Sam Reid (@SamReidSays) October 19, 2014
Tonight I had to tell my toddler she couldn't take her bath with a slice of pizza. I've become everything I ever hated
— afbradstone (@afbradstone) January 26, 2016
"I'm on a two-day juice cleanse and I've never felt better," I proclaimed as I wet myself while slowly crawling toward a Pizza Hut.
— Derek Lawler (@RowdyBowden) May 6, 2014
I just ate cold pizza with a dog. He watched me every step of the way, nodding in support.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) May 7, 2014
This is what rock bottom looks like: pic.twitter.com/STj41EshOR
— Doth (@DothTheDoth) February 13, 2015