Jeff LyonsHead Wig – Jeff created UsedWigs back in 1999 to help people avoid work while sitting at their desks. He encourages unbridled time wasting. Described by no one as the greatest living pop culture polymath, Jeff writes a bunch fake news stories, hosts a podcast, writes some glowing music reviews, interviews interesting people and wrote a book. Most importantly, he continues his unending battle against the insidious, multinational business machine from the safe confines of his soy-based desk. More: @usedwigs

SM ShrakeStorywriter, Personality SM (Service Mark) – Shrake has an acclaimed personality. To find out more about him, search the Internet with your favorite search engine. Make sure to use quotation marks around his name. More:

Russ StarkePodcast Co-Host/Engineer – Russ is a frustrated rock star whose Long Island accent betrays him during heated debates about frighteningly obscure albums and where the best pizza and bagels can be found. He’s got lots to say about music (and has actually studied it), though his biggest claim to fame is trying out for the Men’s U.S. Olympic Bobsled team in a mall parking lot.

Todd MarronePodcast Co-Host – “In 1974, God made a beautiful glowing ball of creativity, sprinkled it with art dust, wrapped it in skin, installed an abrasive voice box and called it Todd Marrone. I say this, not as a megalomaniac who writes in the first person, but as a friend.” More: