I wake to a woman’s scream. I hear a muffled sizzling sound and smell rotting cucurbitus. “What is that?” I cry out through my jack-o’-lantern mouth hole. “Oh, that lady in the other room is getting a Pumpkin Peel. Did you want one of those, too? They’re more money, but they get your skin SO smooth it’s unbelievable.” “No, thank you.”

Play-by-play account of an odd Patti Smith appearance on the children’s show “Kids Are People Too’ from the 70s.