Headlines ripped from the pages of our new book “Quality Workday Distractions!” Buy a copy (of 5!) and get more great news you can use! Comedian Jim Gaffigan says, “UsedWigs.com is like the bacon of the internet. Mmm. UsedWigs.”

• Inventor Kid Invents Useless Piece of Crap!

• 99% of Indians Polled Find Gay Cowboy Movie Very Realistic!
• Cancer Awareness Bracelets Found to Cause Cancer!
• Disturbing Hidden Camera Footage Reveals Local Health Club Still Playing Fabulous Thunderbirds Videos!
• ‘Real World’ Cast Member Dies During ‘Gauntlet’ Event, Doctor Determines Cause of Death to Be Old Age!
• Trader Joe’s Employee Goes from ‘Very Friendly’ to ‘Very Irritating’ in a Matter of Seconds!
• Rabid Sports Fan Hits Rock Bottom, Joins Fantasy Paintball League!
• Kevin Costner and a Really Bad Premise Team Up Once Again for New Movie!

More here: news, nonsense, pop culture lists, band names and more!

Price: $13.95

Buy Here: Amazon

“Now, for the first time, Cross is weaving his media mockery, celebrity denunciation, religious commentary and sheer madness into book form, revealing the true story behind his almost existential distaste of Jim Belushi (The Belush), disclosing the up-to-now unpublished minutes to a meeting of Fox television network executives, and offering up a brutally grotesque run-in with Bill O’Reilly.” – Publishers Weekly

Price: $16.31

Buy: Amazon

Yay for another book of amusing lists! It’s kinda like reading, but fun: 13 particularly horrible fast-food innovations, 24 great films too painful to watch twice, 10 Great Songs Nearly Ruined by Saxophone, 11 video games that prompted fear and outrage, and 100 More Obsessively Specific Pop-Culture Lists!

Price:$12.50

Buy Here: www.amazon.com

Headlines ripped from the pages of our book Quality Workday Distractions, available now for gift giving! Voted “Best Gift Ever” by this site.

• Inventor Kid Invents Useless Piece of Crap!
• Disturbing Hidden Camera Footage Reveals Local Health Club Still Playing Fabulous Thunderbirds Videos!
• Cancer Awareness Bracelets Found to Cause Cancer!
• ‘Real World’ Cast Member Dies During ‘Gauntlet’ Event, Doctor Determines Cause of Death to Be Old Age!
• $400 in Singles Later, Man Still Thinks He Has a Pretty Good Shot with Stripper!
• NBC’s Dateline Catches Last Predator, Internet Now Completely Safe!
• 99% of Indians Polled Find Gay Cowboy Movie Very Realistic!
• Rogue Second Life Avatar Creates Third Life, Where He Plays a Bald, Overweight Accountant with 3 Kids!
• Trader Joe’s Employee Goes from ‘Very Friendly’ to ‘Very Irritating’ in a Matter of Seconds!
• Rabid Sports Fan Hits Rock Bottom, Joins Fantasy Paintball League!
• Kevin Costner and a Really Bad Premise Team Up Once Again for New Movie!
• Rick James’ Ghost Assaults Two Women; Smokes Crack!
• ‘Are You Fatter Than a Fifth Grader?’ Gets Green Light on FOX!
• Ironic T-Shirts Clash at SXSW Festival, Thousands of Feelings Reported Hurt!
• NYC Rats Consider Stomach Stapling to Deal with Rising Obesity Problem!
• Thousands of Viewers Reported Sick After ‘The View’ Goes High Def!
• Forensic Experts Reveal Footprints Were Not God’s; You Were in Fact, Walking Alone during Your Most Troublesome Times!
• Jim Belushi Searches Fruitlessly Online for ‘According to Jim’ Save Our Show Campaign!
• Microsoft Employees Brace for Severe Backlash from Their Disappointed Kids Upon Receipt of Zunes Instead of iPods on Christmas Morning!
• Misplaced Script Found in Martin Scorsese’s Eyebrows 20 Years Later!
• Hulk Hogan’s Daughter Tests Positive for Gamma Radiation!
• Madonna Adopts Child in Africa, Buys Matching Luggage in Paris!
• Paula Deen Caught Eating an Entire Stick of Butter While Filming Cooking Show!
• Traffic Copter Crashes to Earth, Fiery Carnage Causes Eastbound Delays!
• After Years of Living a Lie, Lead Singer of Toto Admits He’s Never Really Been to Africa!
• Despite Numerous Requests, Il Divo Still Refuses to Sing “Whip It” in Concert!
• Child Lost When Mother Over-Mulches Garden Bed, Massive Search Continues!
• Suge Knight ‘Punk’d’ Episode Goes Horribly Wrong; Cast and Crew Found Dead!

Remember, comedian Jim Gaffigan says, “UsedWigs.com is like the bacon of the internet. Mmm. UsedWigs.”

Price: $10.95

Buy Here: Amazon

Our book “Quality Workday Distraction” is now available on Amazon and I am very excited. I just hi-fived the photos of Noam Chomsky and Matt Rolloff on my wall. Anyway, I know some of you have purchased, borrowed and even skimmed through the book (we all go potty now and then, am I right people?), so would you be so kind to write a small review on my Amazon page:

Amazon Book Link

(if you haven’t read my book, just think of something really, really funny and write about that in the review. Just replace “Funny Guy Dancing Video” with “Quality Workday Distractions.”)

Currently the Amazon page is pretty darn bare and the book is real sad and could use some encouragement. And since you’ll be visiting my Amazon page, you might want to press that super fun “Add to Cart” button. The book loves to go there and become an affordable, sensible gift for someone you truly love and or admire.

Only $13.95

More Book Info: UsedWigs New Book: “Quality Workday Distractions”