• Toys
• Sacks of Grain
• Timeshare Vacations
• Smart Fortwo Car Two-Packs
• Refurbished Nooks
• Nuova Simonelli Espresso Machines
• Barstools
• Karate Lessons
• Kayaks
• Quidditch Uniforms & Equipment
• Four Loko Lite
• Zunes
• Life-size HBO Celebrity Wax Figures
• Pets
• Rebar
• Twilight© Grand Pianos
• Deep Tissue Massages
• Pottery Kilns
• Kitchen Cabinets
• Tattoos
• Pool Skimmers
• Pajama Jeans
• Motorcycle Insurance
• Prom Dresses
• Grape Presses
• Machetes
• 2.5 inch Fiberglass Insulation
• Falconry Gloves

You love post-apocalyptic dystopian tales of gritty humans battling armies of insidious baby-eating cyborgs, right? So does Philadelphia’s preeminent geek Eric Smith (geekadelphia.com), but in his debut novel he tackles something much more troubling and frightening: relationships and ruts.

If you follow Eric in the social media ether you’ll realize right away he is sincere, funny and very supportive of the Philadelphia tech community. He’s an all-around good guy well-versed in everything from academics to Atari. You’ll also notice he proudly wears his heart on his iron-clad exoskeleton’s arc reactor, so there is much vibranium to mine when it comes to the successes and failures of a romantic young lad.

“…and poor Andrew, his week has been a rough one. His former bestseller, Chasing Fireflies, is on clearance at Barnes & Noble for $1.37, his girlfriend left him for a corporate America action figure, and he’s been tricked into joining Textual Healing, a support group for writers who can’t seem to write anymore.”

Buy: $15.99

More: www.ericsmithrocks.com

Mike Stilkey - see profile by David Kinsey at Fecal Face.

Todd Marrone - see Withdrawn.

Crack a Book: No argument, this is definitely the best book of the year… that I wrote (you’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll spend a measly $12). Need more? The Grouchy Grammarian and The Dord, the Diglot, and an Avocado or Two make for splendid reading if you appreciate the beauty of our language and the constant punishment it takes. For novels, non-fiction and the like, don’t ask me, check here: flashlight worthy books. Remember kids, Reading is Fundamental.

Write a Novel… for a Cell Phone… for dumb Japanese people.

Search Twitter: And Twitter only: twitority.com. (FYI, we cure cancer on Twitter, follow us)

Ponder The Celebrity of Kate Hudson: And other grim people and things that force you to watch YouTube and cooking shows instead of going out to the movies: Cinematical’s 25 Lamest of 2008!

Investigate Alternative Fuels: Beverly Hills Plastic Surgeon Uses Liposuctioned Fat As Fuel For Car [via Neatorama]. “Hey Craig, your car smells like ass, I’m not kidding, real human ass.”

Fight Crime in a Homemade Costume: If your town is besieged by evil-doers, the World Superhero Registry seems like a good place to look for help or a good laugh. [via MetaFilter]. By the by, I’m currently reading and loving Watchmen. Yes nerdly, I’m jumping on the bandwagon because the new film looks awesome. I’m a graphic novel poseur, I know, I know…

Laugh Heartily: The kids over at Comicvsaudience.com and the Philly Improv Theater are starting off the new year with a stand-up comedy show featuring Mary Radzinski, Joey Dougherty, Sidney Gantt and 2008 Philly’s Phunniest Person Kent Haine. Monday, January 5th, 2009 at the Shubin Theatre (407 Bainbridge St.). Only $5. Directions and Tix. BYOB.

Continue Laughing: The best comedy albums of 2008

Spoil Holiday Movies: Hitler Lives, Dog Dies.

Price: $16.95 each

Buy Here: www.quirkbooks.com