Here’s a super cute photo of one of our favorite superstar leading ladies when she was young!

Please guess below in the comment section.

The Mathletes Club here at UsedWigs High have compiled a classroom full of actors who were well past their teenage years when they portrayed high-schoolers on the big and small screens. Age calculations are based on when the film was released or the year the character debuted on the TV show. The information was gleaned from IMDB.com.

Update! “Vic Morrow was 26 and Sidney Poitier was 28 when The Blackboard Jungle was released.” – Slurry

Before you fire off the “Hey, dummy you forgot….” email, there are hundreds of 23-, 24- and 25-year-old actors who played teens and we certainly can’t list them all here. I’m sure there’s some creepy website out there devoted to this nonsense. Google it

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Actor	Brother	Lowdown
John Belushi	Jim Belushi	Sadly, Jim was not the heavy drug user in the family. There was a show about life according to him, it might still be on the air. Check with your Auntie.
Patrick Swayze	Don Swayze	Actor Don is just like Patrick, but a but a tad lighter in the chromosome department.
Ron Howard	Clint Howard	Opie looks like Hugh Jackman when standing next to his younger brother, that’s why he always invites him to the set and sticks him in his films.
Alec Baldwin	Daniel Baldwin	Alec is very funny when he’s not very angry. Daniel is very high when he’s not very loaded. Add dimwit Stephen and the other one and you got quite a family party.
Chris Farley	Kevin Farley	Fat? Check. High-Energy? Check. Funny? Don’t know. He’s currently starring in a right-wing comedy, not the best career move in Hollywood.
Seth Meyer	Josh Meyer	Josh was on “Mad TV.” If he kidnapped Seth and took his place on SNL’s Weekend Update, you would not know the difference.
Chris Rock	Tony Rock	TV Guide says “Look out comedy world, Chris’s younger brother  is the next Charlie Murphy!”
Albert Brooks	Super Dave Osborne	Fun Fact: The brothers’ real last name is Einstein.
Jerry O’Connell	Charlie O’Connell	Remember when they were both on that show “Sliders” but only Jerry was allowed to talk? Anyone… anyone…?
Sylvester Stallone	Frank Stallone	Sly eats a bucket full of horse steroids every morning. Frank sang “Far From Over” for the 1983 film “Staying Alive.” What’s the bigger crime? Call it a tie.
Leo Gallagher	Ron Gallagher	Oddest brother story ever: Look-a-like Ron toured as “Gallagher Too” doing the same act, against Leo’s wishes. That’s so cool, I hate watermelons.
Macho Man Randy Savage	“Leaping” Lanny Poffo	Not exactly actors, but close enough. Poffo read poems in the ring, Randy was both macho and a savage. Take a guess who the rubes liked better.

Got some of your own? Let me know.

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GOD has been taking home his celebrities at an astonishing rate this summer, as you may have noticed. David Carradine, Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, Billy Mays, Karl Malden, Walter Cronkite, Corazon Aquino, John Hughes… All taken too young. That’s right, ALL taken far too young.

Sometimes when a really old celebrity dies, people say, “I guess I didn’t realize [he/she] was still alive! Is that a mean thing to say?”

Well, call me mean or not, here are some of those people. The ones sitting in God’s waiting room.

(These are just the ones I find surprising, in descending order of surprisingness. I’d better hurry up and publish this list, it could become superannuated at any minute! God forbid.)

Entertainment

Ernest Borgnine (January 24, 1917 – ?) This is a no-brainer. He should totally be dead by now, I feel like I’ve seen his obituary half a dozen times, but must’ve imagined it.

Olivia De Havilland (July 1, 1916 – ?) AND her sister, Joan Fontaine (October 22, 1917– ?) Love these grand olde dames de la cinéma. But come on, they were co-stars with Crawford and Davis. And Bette Davis died at the age of 130 like 20 years ago.

Christopher Lee (May 27, 1922 – ?) Maybe him playing a vampire (and an old one at that) when I was a kid (and I’m now in my mid-50s) is what has made him undead.

Jack Klugman (April 27, 1922 – ?) Okay, I admit I thought he and Karl Malden (March 22, 1912 – July 1, 2009) were the same person.

Jane Russell (June 21, 1921 – ?) Alive and kicking and looking pretty hot by old-lady standards (see photo at right from 2006, where she’s 85).

Doris Day (April 3, 1924 – ?) Just surprising, that’s all.

Lizabeth Scott (September 29, 1922 – ?) Born Emma Matzo in Scranton, Penna. Why would you change a name like Emma Matzo? Peekaboo hairstyle originator; the missing “E” in her name is hidden under her hair, too. [thanks to commenter below. -SS]. I guess I have her mixed up with Frances Farmer or some other premature-dying (as in death, not dye) blondy-cakes.

Mickey Rooney (September 23, 1920 – ?) Seems like his self-mocking “I’m still alive” appearance on The Simpsons was already 10+ years ago… So…

Phyllis Diller (July 17, 1917 – ?) I want her never to die, but we all have to someday.

Jean Stapleton (January 19, 1923 – ?) AKA Edith Bunker. Probably assumed dead through confusion with sister Maureen Stapleton (June 21, 1925 – March 13, 2006).

Bob Barker (December 12, 1923 – ?) One of those cases where retirement (2007) = invisibility = assumed death.

Sid Caesar (September 8, 1922 – ?) I guess I assumed he was dead because, to illustrate my point, wikipedia lists the following awesome guests he had on his show in the ’50s: Jackie Cooper (Still alive [b. 1922, so putting him on the watch list.] Sorry, Jackie!), Robert Preston, Rex Harrison, Eddie Albert, Michael Redgrave, Basil Rathbone, Charlton Heston, Geraldine Page, Douglas Fairbanks Jr., Pearl Bailey, Fred Allen, Benny Goodman. Guess what they all have in common.

Abe Vigoda (February 24, 1921 – ?) Poor Abe has already been through the false death rumor ordeal a few years ago – in 1982!

Letters

J.D. Salinger (January 1, 1919 – ?) Lesson here? Pretending you don’t exist makes you live forever. R.I.P, J.D. Salinger, January 1, 1919 – January 27, 2010.

Abigail “Dear Abby” Van Buren (July 4, 1918 – ?) Guess I had her mixed up with her sister, Ann Landers (July 4 1918 – June 22, 2002). It’s okay, she’s used to it.

Ray Bradbury (August 22, 1920 – ?) I just associate him with moldy pulp paperbacks stacked in someone’s basement. Not vibrantly alive to me.

Fashion

Pierre Cardin (July 7, 1922 – ?) Really? Is he shacked up with Coco Chanel somewhere? (No, she died in 1971.)

Gloria Vanderbilt (February 20, 1924 – ?) Anderson Cooper’s grandma mom, the “poor little rich girl” who was already an old woman when her jeans were all the rage in the ’80s.

Hubert de Givenchy (February 20, 1927– ?) Birthday buddy with Andy’s grandma mom! Wiki says: “…opened his first couture house in 1952 and created a sensation with his separates, which could be mixed and matched at will.” Separates? What is this newfangled thing?

Music

Les Paul (June 9, 1915 – ?) Could be Paul McCartney’s grandfather. So old, I assumed he was dead even when I was a kid learning guitar from his books. R.I.P. Les Paul, June 9, 1915 – August 13, 2009

Earl Scruggs (January 6, 1924 – ?) Let’s put it this way: Lester Flatt died 30 years ago. Looks like we know which banjo won the duel!

Mitch Miller (July 4, 1911 – ?) He truly will bury us all. To the dulcet tones of a mellow horn section. R.I.P. Mitch Miller, July 4, 1911 – July 31, 2010.

Read more SM SHRAKE at You Wanna Know What? and The Shrake-tionary.

For no reason at all, here is a list of heights of your favorite and not-so-favorite celebrities. Heights were taken from IMDB.com. Some are accurate but most are blatant lies put forth by the celeb’s publicists for vanity’s sake. We all know Denzel is nowhere near 6 foot and our boy Frodo is 5′ 6″ only if he stands on Peter Jackson’s giant lunch bag. See where you stack up!

Jeff Lyons
Infotainment Reporter

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