“I am Doctor Oct-tow-pus. I am going to sock your puss!”

I love Aziz. I love him even more when he talks about antagonizing his teenage cousin Harris via Facebook.

More Aziz: azizisbored.tumblr.com

Join: Team Conan

Body Movin’ Body Body Movin! Dave Hill and his Valley Lodge have fleshed out a nice video for their classic cut “All of My Loving.”

Conan and Andy Visit: Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis. Outstanding as always.

Sales Guy vs Web Dude: I’m a bit late to the game on this viral vid, funny stuff for anyone involved in tech, tech support, web or even you dummies in the sales department: The Website is Down. Episode one is my fave. (link via @mleis)

Ken Ober: “Kenny wasn’t like the other kids/ TV mattered, nothing else did/Girls said yes, but he said no/Now he’s got his own game show… Remote Control!” Thanks for bringing an insane amount of trivial fun to my obsessive video- and game show- watching teen years with Remote Control. Ken Ober, you were a good man. A funny man.

Expensive Gift Idea: Beatles USB Drive! This high-tech piece of fruit will set you back about $240, a little too pricey to be mentioned in our Popular and Affordable Gift Guide, but if you have a Beatles nerd in your life who deserves something cool, have at it. The deets:

“The exquisitely crafted, apple-shaped USB drive is loaded with the critically acclaimed re-mastered audio for The Beatles’ 14 stereo titles, as well as all of the re-mastered CDs visual elements, including 13 mini-documentary films about the studio albums, replicated original UK album art, rare photos and expanded liner notes.”

Edward Woodward – TV’s The Equalizer (a totally bad-ass show) has passed away. Here’s a nice tribute.

Timber! The Death Of The Drexel Shaft:

Chris Knows A-Holes! Our pal Chris Illuminati is the coauthor of The Assholeology: The Science Behind Getting Your Way – and Getting Away with it. It will be out January, 2010. Buy it, so he’ll write another one and stop tweeting so much.

Fuck NPR! Give your dough to WFMU for a change. (They never depress the hell out of you.) Join Scharpling and Wurster Tuesday night (11/17) for the 24-Hour Fall Marathon! Always excellent swag with each donation. The Best Show starts at 8:oopm EST.

Jerry Fuchs Tributes: In case you missed it last week, WPRB’s Jon Solomon produced a lovely tribute show to Jerry Fuchs who died tragically on November 8th. Dave McGurgan penned a really nice piece about Fuchs amazing drumming style and Henry Owings remembers his dear friend on Chunklet.

Jerry is survived by an impressive canon of records on which he’s performed, countless mouth-agape audiences in awe of his work, dozens of heart-crushed former bandmates, and an endless parade of true friends around the world. Jerry, your influence was profound and far-reaching. More

BTW, Jon Solomon will be our next guest on UsedWigs Radio.

“Is there nothing you Phish fans can’t make out of hemp? I mean besides deodorant.”

Sweet Art: These 100 Cereal Box Covers should take you back to the glory days of wolfing down bowl upon bowl of multi-colored, crunchy goodness on Saturday mornings while trying to figure out why Wendy and Marvin were replaced by Zan and Jana.

WTF Top Chef? Pretty low-rent season, huh? The top chef so far (most wins) dazzled a bunch of yapping yentas on some morning TV show with a disgusting cold tomato-watermelon-cheese salad. This concoction was a big hit with Jersey housewives about 5 years ago. The look on the faces of the other chefs who lost and actually cooked fairly complex dishes was priceless: quietly seething in their own juices.

I do enjoy watching the dopey girl with an Irish cottage roof for a hairdo, Thatchy seems a bit lost, but oddly confident as she smothers the life out of dishes with globs of pungent cheese. The show has also turned into Product-Placement-Palooza. Oh well, all good things must come to end. Gotta motor, need to go buy some GladWare® Containers and a T-Mobile Sidekick 3™.

Where’s the Beef? Oh, right here in this flame-broiled man perfume.

“Aaah Haaa Yeahhh!” The Davide Lee Roth Soundboard rules (via Kevin Hoffman),  almost as much as the beloved Ladies Man Soundboard that I still get a kickout off, “Hey, what’s happenin’?” That’s gold.

Step Right Up and Buy Some Punk! R5′s Punk Rock Rock Flea Market – Holiday Edition – This Saturday! “100+ tables of vendors selling old records, clothes, art, music, food, bicycles, stereo equipment, instruments, automobiles, tools, posters, furniture, computers, skateboards and lots of other stuff !” R5 website.

Magazine Airbrush Artist Works Serious Overtimes, Injures Hand: Another slightly nude Aniston Cover… yawn…

The Ironman of Radio: Looks like WPRB’s Jon Solomon is keeping the streak alive, 21 years in a row:  24-Hour Holiday Radio Show on WPRB, 2008 Edition. The spectacular begins 6:00pm on Xmas Eve. Always a great listen, check in with him and send him nourishment.

Paul F. Tompkins: Philly-born Funnyman (aka TwitterKins) on Conan tonight.

Very Bad Ads: This could be the longest list ever created, but luckily Illuminati pared it downed nicely for us: Commercials that suck the fun out of watching television.

MixWit is Kaput! Oh well, fun while it lasted: http://mixwit.com

Flip Out!: Dolphin Stampede

Still Waiting for an Actual Capture or Legit Sighting: Sci Fi to gather more “Draft Hunters” “Ghost Hunters”

Eating Out of The Palm of Your Lap: Gabe & Max’s Guide to Man Style #3: Dining & Wine

Download Free Mp3: “Nothing Ever Happened” by Deerhunter (via KEXP)