One large credit card bill will make you sad, so open a new card at each store you go to, including Cinnabon and Christmas City. Do not shop online. Somalis will hijack your credit card info. The Purell Dispenser/Ambulance Transformer is the season’s must-have toy. The online discount promo code for John Mayer’s new CD is “$UPERDOUCHE” Gift receipts show a lack of confidence in your purchases. Do not give them out. And more!!

3 color screen print 25″ x 19″ Price: $40 Buy Here: www.danmccarthy.org

Doing all of your shopping on Christmas Eve guarantees your loved ones will be receiving the freshest bags of grapes possible.

Gas stations would not sell neckties if they weren’t really great gifts.