UsedWigs » humor http://usedwigs.com Quality Workday Distractions Fri, 03 Feb 2012 16:11:28 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 UsedWigs Radio Podcast 91: Holiday Show with Molly Davis and Anna Goldfarb http://usedwigs.com/podcast-91/ http://usedwigs.com/podcast-91/#comments Fri, 23 Dec 2011 14:34:51 +0000 Jeff http://usedwigs.com/?p=13657 Topics: Holiday Fun, Worst Gifts Ever Given, Worst Gifts Ever Received, Dating Do's and Don'ts, Gift Cards, Homemade Bikes, Fruit Presents, Hiding Twitter from Coworkers, People Being Horrible on Twitter, Men's Fragrances, Tiny Husbands, Awkward Hugs, Best-Selling Christmas Music, Uncanny Valley, New Year's Eve Hookups and The Kinks.]]>

Topics: Holiday Fun, Worst Gifts Ever Given, Worst Gifts Ever Received, Dating Do’s and Don’ts, Gift Cards, Homemade Bikes, Fruit Presents, Hiding Twitter from Coworkers, People Being Horrible on Twitter, Men’s Fragrances, Tiny Husbands, Awkward Hugs, Best-Selling Christmas Music, Uncanny Valley, New Year’s Eve Hookups and The Kinks.

Guests: Anna Goldfarb and Molly Davis

Teaser: Yankee Candles, they say “I hate you!” and “She likes light!”

Playlist: “All I Want is Truth (For Christmas)” by The Mynabirds, “Winter Vacation” by The Subjects and “Only at Christmas Time” by Sufjan Stevens.

Play Now: http://www.usedwigs.com/pod/podcast91.mp3

iTunes: Download, Listen and Subscribe

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]]> http://usedwigs.com/podcast-91/feed/ 0 Good Cover / Bad Cover on Low Times http://usedwigs.com/good-cover-bad-cover-on-low-times/ http://usedwigs.com/good-cover-bad-cover-on-low-times/#comments Wed, 23 Nov 2011 15:23:08 +0000 Jeff http://usedwigs.com/?p=13540 Hi loved ones, in addition to my laborious UsedWigs nonsense-spewing, I’m very excited to be contributing to the mighty Low Times. Here’s my first bit of business for them: Good Cover / Bad Cover – “Someday I Will Treat You Good” For every good cover version of a song, there is a bad one. Sorry, [...]]]> Hi loved ones, in addition to my laborious UsedWigs nonsense-spewing, I’m very excited to be contributing to the mighty Low Times. Here’s my first bit of business for them:

Good Cover / Bad Cover – “Someday I Will Treat You Good”

For every good cover version of a song, there is a bad one. Sorry, that’s just how the universe works.

In all the years I’ve been shouting chatting about music with people, absolutely no one has asked me, “Hey Jeff, what’s your favorite song about being left on the side of the road?” and that really bothers me because I have not one, but two A+ answers. To remedy this, let’s pretend you and I are sitting in a Starbucks getting to know each other, drinking some fartberry-spiced coffees and splitting a $7 doughnut. You say, “Jeff, I know it’s none of my business and we just met but what are your two favorite songs about being left on the side of the road?”

Continue Reading>

More: Get Down with The Low Times Podcast

]]> http://usedwigs.com/good-cover-bad-cover-on-low-times/feed/ 0 UsedWigs Radio Podcast 89: Guest Jon Solomon http://usedwigs.com/podcast-89/ http://usedwigs.com/podcast-89/#comments Fri, 28 Oct 2011 12:35:49 +0000 Jeff http://usedwigs.com/?p=13396 jon solomonGuest: Jon Solomon has been playing and promoting top-notch indie music for years on the mighty WPRB. He can be heard every Wednesday night from 7:00 – 10:00 pm ET. Listen at wprb.com! Topics: Pumpkin Chucking, Russ “Fireballer” Starke, Fruit Slingshots, Halloween Superstores, Gig Posters, Jon’s 24-Hour Holiday Radio Show, Lenny & Squiggy, Ric Flair, [...]]]> jon solomon

Guest: Jon Solomon has been playing and promoting top-notch indie music for years on the mighty WPRB. He can be heard every Wednesday night from 7:00 – 10:00 pm ET. Listen at wprb.com!

Topics: Pumpkin Chucking, Russ “Fireballer” Starke, Fruit Slingshots, Halloween Superstores, Gig Posters, Jon’s 24-Hour Holiday Radio Show, Lenny & Squiggy, Ric Flair, The Misfits, Big Efforts to See a Band, Merch Tables, Owning a Record Label, Long Songs, Bands Reuniting, Digital Downloads, Jam Bands, Top Scary Movies, Drive-Ins, Bad Date Movies, Benjamin Linus and BBC’s Sherlock!

Teaser: “What’s your noodle song, Jon?”

Audio Note: We used a new audio rig and had a little sound problem, you might need to pump up the volume a bit. Sorry!

Playlist: “Drawn Down the Moon” by Edsel, “Under Heavy Manners” by Dissociates

Play Now: http://www.usedwigs.com/pod/podcast89.mp3

iTunes: Download, Listen and Subscribe

Facebook: JOIN our New Facebook Page! It’s so in your face!

Giveaway: Thanks to our friends at Quirk Books for the super cool “Gig Posters Volume 2″ book by Clay Hayes we gave away to a lucky audience member.

]]> http://usedwigs.com/podcast-89/feed/ 0 Baby Names Found in Your Home http://usedwigs.com/new-baby-names-found-in-your-house/ http://usedwigs.com/new-baby-names-found-in-your-house/#comments Thu, 01 Sep 2011 07:08:32 +0000 Jeff http://www.usedwigs.com/new-baby-names-found-in-your-house/ With our schools being overrun with Sophias, Emmas, Jacobs and Ethans, finding new inspiration for naming our children is a must. Look no further than the safe confines of your home. Just open up the cabinets! Smucker Pam Beano Dyson Oral B. Cremora Flonase Ortega Comet Summer Eve Stouffer Drano Brawny Baco Dixie Monistat 7 [...]]]>

With our schools being overrun with Sophias, Emmas, Jacobs and Ethans, finding new inspiration for naming our children is a must. Look no further than the safe confines of your home. Just open up the cabinets!

  • Smucker
  • Pam
  • Beano
  • Dyson
  • Oral B.
  • Cremora
  • Flonase
  • Ortega
  • Comet
  • Summer Eve
  • Stouffer
  • Drano
  • Brawny
  • Baco
  • Dixie
  • Monistat 7
  • Swanson
  • Charmin
  • Borden
  • Eukanuba
  • Sparkle
]]> http://usedwigs.com/new-baby-names-found-in-your-house/feed/ 2 Freshman Starts Scrabble Club, Gains Instant Popularity http://usedwigs.com/freshman-starts-scrabble-club-gains-instant-popularity/ http://usedwigs.com/freshman-starts-scrabble-club-gains-instant-popularity/#comments Wed, 25 May 2011 09:14:00 +0000 Jeff http://usedwigs.com/?p=310 scrabble“I was so excited to meet all these cool people! There is a great mix of kids in the club… jocks, cheerleaders, student body officers and lots of other popular kids. I never knew there were so many people into Scrabble word games, anagrams and etymology. It’s great! I even met a really nice girl and we are going on a date this Saturday night. I can’t wait…”]]> scrabble

In an attempt to make friends at his new school, Leo Jeffries started a Scrabble Club. The skinny, 14-year-old freshman was shocked to find out that an esteemed learning institution like Elmont High School did not already have a Scrabble club.

Within a day of posting fifty bright yellow “Do You Dabble in Scrabble?” flyers in the hallways, over 100 enthusiastic students signed up for the fledgling club.

“I was so excited to meet all these cool people! There is a great mix of kids in the club… jocks, cheerleaders, student body officers and lots of other popular kids. I never knew there were so many people into Scrabble word games, anagrams and etymology. It’s great! I even met a really nice girl and we are going on a date this Saturday night. I can’t wait…”

Suddenly, the ebullient Leo is rudely interrupted mid-sentence by the blaring morning alarm clock of reality that awakens the confused lad and ends yet another dream that will never, ever come true.

]]> http://usedwigs.com/freshman-starts-scrabble-club-gains-instant-popularity/feed/ 0 Still a Great Gift Idea! UsedWigs “Quality Workday Distractions” Book http://usedwigs.com/book/ http://usedwigs.com/book/#comments Sun, 05 Dec 2010 08:38:37 +0000 Jeff http://usedwigs.com/?p=2547 I’m pretty certain the Internet will blow up soon, and with that, millions upon million of nonsense-filled webpages and countless gigs of nut-punching videos will be lost forever. Sad, but it’s inevitable. That’s why I gathered up some of my favorite musings from this website and put them in book form. They shall be preserved for the future generation of belligerent, ferocious apes who will one day enslave all humans and rule the earth... and learn to read. In that exact order. So, that’s why this book is staring you in the face. It’s for the apes.]]>

Headlines ripped from the pages of our new book “Quality Workday Distractions!” Buy a copy (of 5!) and get more great news you can use! Comedian Jim Gaffigan says, “UsedWigs.com is like the bacon of the internet. Mmm. UsedWigs.”

  • Inventor Kid Invents Useless Piece of Crap!
  • 99% of Indians Polled Find Gay Cowboy Movie Very Realistic!
  • Cancer Awareness Bracelets Found to Cause Cancer!
  • Disturbing Hidden Camera Footage Reveals Local Health Club Still Playing Fabulous Thunderbirds Videos!
  • ‘Real World’ Cast Member Dies During ‘Gauntlet’ Event, Doctor Determines Cause of Death to Be Old Age!
  • Trader Joe’s Employee Goes from ‘Very Friendly’ to ‘Very Irritating’ in a Matter of Seconds!
  • Rabid Sports Fan Hits Rock Bottom, Joins Fantasy Paintball League!
  • Kevin Costner and a Really Bad Premise Team Up Once Again for New Movie!

More here: news, nonsense, pop culture lists, band names and more!

Price: $13.95

Buy Here: Amazon

]]> http://usedwigs.com/book/feed/ 13 UsedWigs Radio Podcast 82: Giving Thanks for Everything That Deserves Thanks! Best Music, TV and Web Distractions of 2010 http://usedwigs.com/podcast-82/ http://usedwigs.com/podcast-82/#comments Thu, 25 Nov 2010 14:53:03 +0000 Jeff http://usedwigs.com/?p=11462 Topics: The Pros and Cons of Parades, Best Music of 2010, The Soup, Zooey Deschanel is the Worst, Great TV of 2010, Beatles, Todd has Sick Voice, Conan Needs a Little Help, Community vs. Modern Family!, Andrew Bird Really Loves Whistling, Dumb Spitting Wrestlers, Good Comedians, Unemployed Sidekick, eMusic Blows, New Sherlock Holmes! Playlist: Whole Sky Monitor, Paper Bird, Versus, Bad Plus]]>

Topics: The Pros and Cons of Parades, Best Music of 2010, The Soup, Zooey Deschanel is the Worst, Great TV of 2010, Beatles, Todd has Sick Voice, Conan Needs a Little Help, Community vs. Modern Family!, Andrew Bird Really Loves Whistling, Dumb Spitting Wrestlers, Good Comedians, Unemployed Sidekick, eMusic Blows, New Sherlock Holmes!

Preview: “Parades? Firetruck, firetruck, tank, karate class… alright, done.”

Playlist: Whole Sky Monitor, Paper Bird, Versus, Bad Plus

Play Now: http://www.usedwigs.com/pod/podcast82.mp3

iTunes: Download, Listen and Subscribe

Podcast Website: www.usedwigsradio.com

]]> http://usedwigs.com/podcast-82/feed/ 0 UsedWigs Radio Podcast 81: Ghost Talk, Nothing But Scary Ghost Talk! Oh, and a Visit from a Real (Annoying) Ghost http://usedwigs.com/podcast-81/ http://usedwigs.com/podcast-81/#comments Wed, 27 Oct 2010 13:07:36 +0000 Jeff http://usedwigs.com/?p=11283 Topics: Ghosts! Nothing but ghost stories, ghost debates, ghost hunting and a visit from a very very annoying ghost! Okay, some beard and cartoon talk too. Playlist: Street Dogs, Fanfarlo, The Head and The Heart, Dag Nasty]]>

Topics: Ghosts! Nothing but ghost stories, ghost debates, ghost hunting and a visit from a very very annoying ghost! Okay, some beard and cartoon talk too.

Guests: Michele Melcher, Brian Isserman & Paul Tergeist

Playlist: Street Dogs, Fanfarlo, The Head and The Heart, Dag Nasty

Play Now: http://www.usedwigs.com/pod/podcast81.mp3

iTunes: Download, Listen and Subscribe

Watch: Video of The Show

Website: www.usedwigsradio.com

]]> http://usedwigs.com/podcast-81/feed/ 0 Actors Who Were Too Old to Play Teens But Did Anyway http://usedwigs.com/old-school-too-old-to-play-teens/ http://usedwigs.com/old-school-too-old-to-play-teens/#comments Fri, 08 Oct 2010 05:54:29 +0000 Jeff http://www.usedwigs.com/old-school-too-old-to-play-teens/ The Mathletes Club here at UsedWigs High have compiled a classroom full of actors who were well past their teenage years when they portrayed high-schoolers on the big and small screens]]>

The Mathletes Club here at UsedWigs High have compiled a classroom full of actors who were well past their teenage years when they portrayed high-schoolers on the big and small screens. Age calculations are based on when the film was released or the year the character debuted on the TV show. The information was gleaned from IMDB.com.

Update! “Vic Morrow was 26 and Sidney Poitier was 28 when The Blackboard Jungle was released.” – Slurry

ACTOR BORN FILM/TV SHOW YEAR AGE
Stockard Channing 1944 Grease 1978 34
Curtis Armstrong 1953 Better Off Dead 1985 32
Sean Patrick Thomas 1970 Save the Last Dance 2001 31
Eric Christian Olsen 1977 Fired Up! 2009 31
Olivia Newton-John 1948 Grease 1978 30
John Cho 1972 Better Luck Tomorrow 2002 30
Derek Luke 1974 Friday Night Lights 2004 30
Alan Ruck 1956 Ferris Bueller’s Day Off 1986 30
Frank Whaley 1963 Swing Kids 1993 30
Stacey Dash 1966 Clueless 1995 29
Gabrielle Carteris 1961 Beverly Hills, 90210 1990 29
Ron Lester 1970 Varsity Blues 1999 29
Gedde Watanabe 1955 Sixteen Candles 1984 29
Parry Chen 1973 Better Luck Tomorrow 2002 29
P.J. Soles 1950 Rock ‘n’ Roll High School 1979 29
Tony Danza 1951 The Hollywood Knights 1980 29
Glynn Turman 1946 Cooley High 1975 29
Kerr Smith 1972 Final Destination 2000 28
Adrian Zmed 1954 Grease 2 1982 28
Gabrielle Union 1972 Bring It On 2000 28
Jeff Conaway 1950 Grease 1978 28
Antwon Tanner 1975 One Tree hill 2003 28
Jon Heder 1977 Napoleon Dynamite 2004 27
Parminder Nagra 1975 Bend It Like Beckham 2002 27
Selma Blair 1972 Cruel Intentions 1999 27
Charisma Carpenter 1970 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 1997 27
Rebecca Gayheart 1972 Jawbreaker 1999 27
Lori Singer 1957 Footloose 1984 27
Sissy Spacek 1949 Carrie 1976 27
Tobey Maguire 1975 Spider-Man 2002 27
Denise Richards 1971 Wild Things 1998 27
Kevin Bacon 1958 Footloose 1984 26
Jamie Kennedy 1970 Scream 1996 26
Matthew Lillard 1970 Scream 1996 26
Skeet Ulrich 1970 Scream 1996 26
Paul Walker 1973 She’s All That 1999 26
Scott Wolf 1968 Party of Five 1994 26
Minka Kelly 1980 Friday Night Lights 2006 26
Ian Ziering 1964 Beverly Hills, 90210 1990 26

Before you fire off the “Hey, dummy you forgot….” email, there are hundreds of 23-, 24- and 25-year-old actors who played teens and we certainly can’t list them all here. I’m sure there’s some creepy website out there devoted to this nonsense. Google it

More News!

]]> http://usedwigs.com/old-school-too-old-to-play-teens/feed/ 19 Much-Heralded Office Shower Becomes Less-Heralded Storage Area http://usedwigs.com/much-heralded-office-shower-becomes-less-heralded-storage-area/ http://usedwigs.com/much-heralded-office-shower-becomes-less-heralded-storage-area/#comments Tue, 17 Aug 2010 19:16:27 +0000 Jeff http://www.usedwigs.com/much-heralded-office-shower-becomes-less-heralded-storage-area/ After 26 months of almost 100-percent inactivity, OviTech Solutions' office shower has been designated the new official storage area for copy paper, file folders and presentation binders. Office manager Pam Superstein made the announcement in an intra-office email.]]>

After 26 months of almost 100-percent inactivity, OviTech Solutions’ office shower has been designated the new official storage area for copy paper, file folders and presentation binders. Office manager Pam Superstein made the announcement in an intra-office email.

The audibly disappointed Superstein described the situation,”When they first designed the office, we had high hopes for the shower. Everyone said we needed at least two shower stalls since many of the employees would be biking and running to and from work. We’re a technology company with lots of young, energetic people, so it made sense.”

“I think our CEO, Red, used it once the first week we moved in, after a quick lunchtime run. He made a big deal about it, walking around the office in his sweaty clothes for a good while. He hasn’t run since. No one has.”

Programmer Chris Duffy, whose cube sits adjacent to the new utility and storage center/closet, nodded and added: “People just started putting crap in the shower — old monitors, boxes, food wrappers… there wasn’t room anywhere else, I guess. I took the giant bottle of Prell last month, hate to see that go to waste.”

Superstein added, “The shower was hip and humanizing in a way, but converting it makes more sense from a square-inchage [sic] perspective.”

Just a month earlier, OviTech Solutions had converted its “gym” room — which consisted of a stationary bike, a treadmill, two Thighmasters and a Bowflex — into a new sales office, retrofitted with eight space-saver cubes. The gym equipment was offered to the employees at cost plus 10 percent. No takers.

More Good Stuff:

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