Sometimes when a really old celebrity dies, people say, “I guess I didn’t realize [he/she] was still alive! Is that a mean thing to say?” Well, call me mean or not, here are some of those people. The ones sitting in God’s waiting room. (These are just the ones I find surprising, in descending order of surprisingness. I’d better hurry up and publish this list, it could become superannuated at any minute! God forbid.)

Sixteen Candles: Farmer Ted (aka The Geek) was best comedic teen role ever. Nothing comes close. Love Anthony Michael Hall. John Hughes was an insanely talented writer and director, he’ll be missed. Some of my favorite Farmer Ted quotes: