I’m talking to you — my friends and fellow Fourth-Level Dwarves with hit points to spare — the basement-dwelling, video-obsessed music nerds who watched the once-great video channel from day one (August 1, 1981) and who thoroughly enjoyed seeing the eclectic mix of artists and songs like “No Time to Lose” by the Tarney-Spencer Band and “So Long” by Fischer Z played at least six times day, every day. MTV sure had a lot of time to fill, here are some standouts.

Being part of the entertainment news community has its perks, like getting “hot off the press” releases from the top P.R. people in the biz. As you would imagine, I do get a bit bored reading all the properly spell-checked releases penned by those fancy writers and look forward to receiving some news with a [...]

MTV producers did not have to stage any antics or coax any performances out of these always-animated, fist-pumping gorillas and perma-bronzed, high-heeled guidettes. Just watching them in their natural habitat, performing the ritual dances and aggressive mating habits is entertainment enough.

Producers said the show was going well until they were led outside to check out his fleet of presumably tricked-out rides. “We were shocked, and dare I say appalled, when P-Krunk opened up his garage door and exposed two non-customized, frequently driven vehicles showing a bit of wear and tear: a 1998 Ford Windstar minivan and a 2005 Toyota Corolla.”