After 26 months of almost 100-percent inactivity, OviTech Solutions’ office shower has been designated the new official storage area for copy paper, file folders and presentation binders. Office manager Pam Superstein made the announcement in an intra-office email.

Commental Error- This is when a Facebook rookie or clueless user makes a completely off-topic comment on your post thread instead of posting directly on your wall or sending you a message. Misguided Missive – The king of newbie mistakes, inadvertently “posting” (publicly) on someone’s wall instead of sending them a “message” (privately).

Approach coworker in cubicle, office or common area. Ask coworker how his/her Memorial Day Weekend was. As soon as he/she opens mouth to respond, interrupt immediately and relate in excruciating detail every single thing you did from Friday afternoon to Monday night without taking a breath. Leave. Approach new coworker. Repeat.

“Wendy works from home quite a lot, and she sends emails every couple of hours to prove she’s actually being productive. Must be a pain typing in the old iPhone while you’re on the stair climber at the gym, driving to the shore or hitting the sale racks at Bloomingdales?”

“Glen is in very bad shape. He eats two McGriddles for breakfast every morning, Big Macs for lunch every day, smokes cigars, drinks only coffee and scotch, and watches Rock of Love, you know, real vile behavior.”