Headlines ripped from the pages of our new book “Quality Workday Distractions!” Buy a copy (of 5!) and get more great news you can use! Comedian Jim Gaffigan says, “UsedWigs.com is like the bacon of the internet. Mmm. UsedWigs.”

• Inventor Kid Invents Useless Piece of Crap!

• 99% of Indians Polled Find Gay Cowboy Movie Very Realistic!
• Cancer Awareness Bracelets Found to Cause Cancer!
• Disturbing Hidden Camera Footage Reveals Local Health Club Still Playing Fabulous Thunderbirds Videos!
• ‘Real World’ Cast Member Dies During ‘Gauntlet’ Event, Doctor Determines Cause of Death to Be Old Age!
• Trader Joe’s Employee Goes from ‘Very Friendly’ to ‘Very Irritating’ in a Matter of Seconds!
• Rabid Sports Fan Hits Rock Bottom, Joins Fantasy Paintball League!
• Kevin Costner and a Really Bad Premise Team Up Once Again for New Movie!

More here: news, nonsense, pop culture lists, band names and more!

Price: $13.95

Buy Here: Amazon

Guest: Colin Helb

Topics: Joys of Canned Beer, Pop Culture, Reality TV, Old Guy Section at Rock Shows, Musicians’ Day Jobs, Comic-Con, Green Super Heroes, 3-D Movies, Jeff is Not a Fan of G. Love, Local Philly Celebrities, Crying During “Annie,” Michelob Ginger Wheat Detergent Beer.

Playlist: We Are Scientists, 1000000 A.D., Adam Franklin and The Bolts of Melody and Vertinsky Dogs.

Play Now: http://www.usedwigs.com/pod/podcast77.mp3

iTunes: Download, Listen and Subscribe

Podcast Website: www.usedwigsradio.com

Musical Guest: Brian Seymour

Topics: SM’s Mister Microphone, Jeff’s Made-Up Belgian History, Todd’s Perv Mustache, Brian’s Man Voice, Most Popular Holidays Albums, Top Songs of The Year, Billy Squier, Hall & Oates, Kings of Leon’s Very Bad Song, Chinese Music Fans, Feast of Seven Fishes, Ethnic Holiday Foods, Home Recording vs Studio Recording, Donut Thursday and Movie Talk!

Preview: “A girl in college said, ‘You should grow a mustache.’ The next day it was there.” – Kenjamin

Playlist: Dismemberment Plan, Sufjan Stevens, Brian Seymour, Centro-matic

Special In-Studio Guests! SM Shrake, Jandek Phil, Kenjamin Franklin and Crazy Aaron!

Play Now: http://www.usedwigs.com/pod/podcast70.mp3

iTunes: Download, Listen and Subscribe

Website: www.usedwigsradio.com

Topics: Gene Ween, Pirate Bay File Sharing, Eating Humans, Conan & Late Night TV, SXSW, Music Festivals, That Dumb Journey Song, Al Pacino Stinks, Sci-Fi Philly!

Playlist: The Spinto Band, O Pioneers!!!, Fiction Family, Heartless Bastards and Dog Day.

Play Now: http://www.usedwigs.com/pod/podcast59.mp3

Subscribe: iTunes

Artwork: White Rocket at Sci-Fi Philly by Todd Marrone.

Website: www.usedwigsradio.com

Topics: Sharing Too Much on Facebook, Sam Adams Utopias Tasting, “The Thing with Two Heads,” Ellipsis, Depressing Places, Todd’s Criminal Dentist, Shepard Fairey, Ticketmaster Boo! and Springsteen is corny.

Playlist: The Answering Machine, Bishop Allen, Boy in Static, Youth Group and Andrew Bird.

Preview: “We don’t bill ourselves as a beer and grammar podcast, but…”

Play Now: http://www.usedwigs.com/pod/podcast58.mp3

Subscribe: iTunes

Website: www.usedwigsradio.com

Guests: Jim Gladstone and SM Shrake. Topics: The Outsiders, Kegs and Party Balls, Scaring Orphans, Favorite Stuff of 2008, Philly Boy Roy, Emo Philips, The Pretenders, Records and 45s, Podcast-killing Technical Difficulties. Playlist: Friendly Foes, Little Jackie, The Hush Now, The Futureheads and Cliff Hillis.

Preview: “Third Rock from The Sun is my favorite show…”

Play Now: http://www.usedwigs.com/pod/podcast56.mp3

Subscribe: iTunes

Website: www.usedwigsradio.com

Guest: Nicole Brewer from CBS3 Philly! Interview: El Vez. Topics: Dated Olympics Talk, Stormtrooper Eating Habits, “Beauty Contests,” Geekadelphia, New Facebook, Philly Accents, Russ’s Africa Trip, Small Audiences, Todd’s Hair Update, Cologne, Polyphasic Sleep. Playlist: Bound Stems, Jukebox the Ghost, Spoonfork, El Vez, Johnny Foreigner.

Preview: Regarding Nicole Brewer’s “What’s Brewing” website, “You lucked out, what if your last name was Lipshitz?”

Play Now: http://www.usedwigs.com/pod/podcast51.mp3

Read: UsedWigs Video Interview Featured on CBS3 in Philly!

Subscribe: iTunes

Website: www.usedwigsradio.com (more photos and goodness)

Listen Right Now:

Topics: Russ Likes Sex and The City, “Ultimate Washington Insider” SM Shrake, The Count Censored, Smartass Darth Vader, Going Acoustic and The Bon Jovi Effect, Night Ranger, RCRD LBL. Playlist: Ninja Gun, Sparky Dog.

Preview: “You may or may not know, but you can’t tell what a puppet is saying by reading its lips…”

Play Now: http://www.usedwigs.com/pod/podcast50_part2.mp3

Subscribe: iTunes

Website: www.usedwigsradio.com

Topics: Epcot, Dark Sky Parks, The Smurfs Movie, Scandinavia, Puppet Comedians, Daytrotter, Perfect Whopper Construction, Album Covers. Playlist: Bob Mould, Wolfkin, Vampire Weekend (Daytrotter Session), Say Hi, Snake & Jet’s Amazing Bullit Band and Ferraby Lionheart.

Preview: “That sounds like the worst trip anyone could ever go on.”

Play Now: http://www.usedwigs.com/pod/podcast44.mp3

Subscribe: iTunes

Website: www.usedwigsradio.com

Related Links:

• Daytrotter
• Dark Sky Park
• Isolation Tank
• Joe Rogan
• “The Smurfs” Movie
• “The King of Kong”
• “What I Should Have Said Was Nothing”
• Alex Steinweiss
• Mint.com
• Street Sketchbook

Every day milestones are reached but sometimes go unnoticed. Here are some lesser known yet still impressive events we caught using The Wigometer 3000™, our super-powered, pop-culture-detecting radar system.

• 200th time this week someone told you, “You must watch Mad Men!”
• 1,000th time today Kanye West has impressed himself
• 500th Thriller group dance routine performed this month by wedding party who still think it’s so very original
• 10,000th fake question posed by a fake reader in Parade magazine
• 700th opportunity seized by Al Sharpton
• 100th product in your supermarket featuring Rachael Ray’s fat face
• 10,000th time “Let’s do a spoof Mac ad and put it on YouTube!” was heard in an ad agency conference room
• 5th copy sold
• 50,000th story planted on Digg.com by a splog
• 4,000th spiritual geek matched up with timid nerd on eHarmony.com
• 300th grainy, dark, out-of-focus surveillance photo made crystal clear with the simple click of a mouse on crime show by snippy female computer whiz
• 15,000th Christopher Walken impression done by a hack stand-up comedian
• 25th episode of “Lost” featuring lots of boring stuff from the past jam packed between two minutes of actual, plot-advancing action
• 2,500th mention of “Tyra” by Tyra on Tyra’s show
• 2,000,000,000th occurrence of God personally helping an athlete or celebrity win something
• 1,000th “Next Big Thing” declared at SXSW/CMJ this year
• 500th stolen joke updated with the word “beaner” by Carlos Mencia
• 800,000th personal blog that has not been updated since February 2006
• 1,000,000th stock photo showing a laptop screen pointed at by three ethnically-diverse and smiling business people
• 10th rebate check actually sent in and payment promptly received
• 5,000,000th piece of chintzy retro crap bought on eBay by someone who immediately regrets the purchase
• 3,000th title in the “Dummies” series of books hit the shelf: “Fucking for Dummies”
• 20,000th day in a row Prince Charles has not had a real job
• 500,000th deep arterial laceration of a human hand while trying to open a product packaged in that sharp, hard-plastic shrink wrap
• 50,000th “Goodfellas” poster hung on a Rutgers University dorm room wall
• 300,000th rock-hard erection guaranteed in your inbox
• 1,000th use of the word “percentile” by your new-parent friend
• 750,000th spin of “Sweet Child O’ Mine” on Philadelphia radio