Det. Benson: “Captain, we’ve got a situation. A lady in the Bronx just patty-caked an S.O.S. to Pitter-Patter from her handheld! She is being attacked by a sex criminal. She asked her Pitter-Patter followers to contact SVU for her, and we’ve been getting dozens of frantic patty-cakes at @sexyvictims.”

The Ultimate Washington Insider got past security once again (with a hypnotizing pocket watch) and hobnobbed with an odd bunch of major and minor celebs and a gaggle of ugly old politicians and talking heads at The White House Correspondents’ Dinner (The snarks call it “Nerd Prom”). And yes, of course, Ricky Schroeder and the [...]