“Too much Galifianakis” does not exist in my vocabulary. This is outstanding. (Best of luck at camp, Zach!)

The Switch – Like it or not, Jennifer Aniston movies will always be made. Even if her next 3 movies earn $30 each and secret phone tapes are released of her saying Haiti deserved it, Hollywood will not stop putting this Friend in films. Why? Because Brad Pitt wronged her and she deserves to be in as many films as she likes and date as many of her costars as she can. It’s only fair.

More: How Jennifer Aniston Chooses a Film

In theaters: August 20th, 2010

Due Date – Looks like Alan Garner & Iron Man have remade Planes, Trains & Automobiles (sans planes & trains). Looks fun enough.

In theaters: November 5th, 2010

Skyline – What, not even a glimpse of the aliens? These space creatures better be the coolest, scariest, anal-probingest, bad-ass muther-effers ever created in the history of sci-fi cinema because this premise is completely overcooked and overdone (Signs, District 9, War of the Worlds, Independence Day)  and this trailer is a complete snoozer.

In theaters: November 12th, 2010

Black Swan – Single White Female + Mommie Dearest + evil skin rashes + that weirdo Darren Aronofsky = I’ll be confused at the end and not really satisfied. More importantly, Natalie Portman is hotter then the “That 70′s Show” chick. Just thought I’d nip that argument in the bud.

In theaters: December 1st, 2010

Let Me In – This is an American remake of the brilliant, blood-chilling Norwegian kid vampire film Let The Right One In. You can tell a Hollywood marketing exec got his paws on it by the injection of that atrocious, nu metal garbage music in the trailer. Save your money and just rent the original, there is no way on earth it can be better than the original. The pool scene still haunts my dreams.

In theaters: October 1st, 2010

The Next Three Days – And the “Giving 95% of the Film Away in Stupid Trailer” award goes to… Could you have at least kept us in the dark about whether Russel Crowe is able to break his daughter out of jail? What’s that? Liz Banks is supposed to be his wife? Creepy.

In theaters: November 19th, 2010

Solar Powered Laziness: Is gardening really this difficult?

Download of Laughs: The first episode of Dave Hill’s Podcasting Incident with special guest Tig Notaro is now up. Enjoy the low-key love vibe.

This Totally Sucks: “Sucks” Songs by Jon Wurster Sucks from The Best Show (oddly enough, doesn’t suck).

Free MP3: Speaking of Wurster, New Superchunk! “Digging for Something” (via @mergerecords)

Another Free MP3! New Screaming Females! “I Don’t Mind It” (via @brooklynvegan)

New Fabulous Feature: Quality Tweet of The Day! Twitter is a contest and every day I pick the winner.

Put Me Inside You (so I can kill you): Footlong Cheeseburger at Carl’s Jr.

New Galifianakis Flick! “It’s Kind of a Funny Story” —  looks good, think “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” with a hot young chick instead of a  cranky old nurse. Here’s the trailer:

Sponsor Me: I’m trying to raise some funds for Back on My Feet, a great nonprofit that promotes self-sufficiency for the homeless. I’m doing so by running a long race called the 20in24. Please give $5! More>

Design Input: “Missing Cat” poster was cute (it’s fun to create pretend email conversations), but I like this better: “Please design a logo for me. With pie charts. For free.”

Career Path: When a former A-list actress accepts her first Lifetime movie role, do you think she fully grasps there’s absolutely no turning back?

Dignity: Hawking spaz sneakers and dubious exercise contraptions on TV? Joe Montana, what exactly did you do with all your football money?

Multiple Mustache Must-See: Journey “Separate Ways” Shot-for-Shot Remake by Teens. Very enjoyable.

World War III Will Begin. In Space! And more things that will definitely happen: 40 Things You Need to Know About the Next 40 Years (via metafilter)

Life Wasting: Punkin Chunkin is show about guys spending lots of time & money building machines to toss pumpkins. Science has never been more ashamed.

Colonoscopy: It’s Time to Check Your Colons

Health Update: The food I’ve shoved into my mouth today falls between the categories of “Toddler’s Birthday Party” and “Parking Lot Carnival.”

Breaking News: Massive Brown Out Hits Men’s Room. Authorities questioning burritos.

Nostalgia: Not counting the guys in Saxon, I’m pretty sure I’m the only one on earth who watched this video 3x in a row today.

Least Enticing Headline of The Day: “Northern Exposure premiered 20 years ago this week”

Contest! Dorian Graycation? Flambécation? Amwaycation? Give us your best “Staycation” name & win a prize!

Keep in Touch:

Looks like Mr. Galifianakis found a comb. Good for him.

Shrake photo bombing the Queen.

Everyone loves the recent Betty White frenzy!
(Except for the guy writing this caption.)

As you can see from these photos, our boy Shrake was smack dab in the middle of the White House Correspondents Association Dinner in D.C. this past weekend. Know this people, Scoop Shrake is very good at chatting up celebs (A-list through F) and becoming their new best friend. Resistance is futile.

Photos!

• Rate the Celebrities from Nerd Prom!
• Extreme Nerd Prom Crash

Body Movin’ Body Body Movin! Dave Hill and his Valley Lodge have fleshed out a nice video for their classic cut “All of My Loving.”

Conan and Andy Visit: Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis. Outstanding as always.

Sales Guy vs Web Dude: I’m a bit late to the game on this viral vid, funny stuff for anyone involved in tech, tech support, web or even you dummies in the sales department: The Website is Down. Episode one is my fave. (link via @mleis)

Ken Ober: “Kenny wasn’t like the other kids/ TV mattered, nothing else did/Girls said yes, but he said no/Now he’s got his own game show… Remote Control!” Thanks for bringing an insane amount of trivial fun to my obsessive video- and game show- watching teen years with Remote Control. Ken Ober, you were a good man. A funny man.

Expensive Gift Idea: Beatles USB Drive! This high-tech piece of fruit will set you back about $240, a little too pricey to be mentioned in our Popular and Affordable Gift Guide, but if you have a Beatles nerd in your life who deserves something cool, have at it. The deets:

“The exquisitely crafted, apple-shaped USB drive is loaded with the critically acclaimed re-mastered audio for The Beatles’ 14 stereo titles, as well as all of the re-mastered CDs visual elements, including 13 mini-documentary films about the studio albums, replicated original UK album art, rare photos and expanded liner notes.”

Edward Woodward – TV’s The Equalizer (a totally bad-ass show) has passed away. Here’s a nice tribute.

Timber! The Death Of The Drexel Shaft:

Chris Knows A-Holes! Our pal Chris Illuminati is the coauthor of The Assholeology: The Science Behind Getting Your Way – and Getting Away with it. It will be out January, 2010. Buy it, so he’ll write another one and stop tweeting so much.

Fuck NPR! Give your dough to WFMU for a change. (They never depress the hell out of you.) Join Scharpling and Wurster Tuesday night (11/17) for the 24-Hour Fall Marathon! Always excellent swag with each donation. The Best Show starts at 8:oopm EST.

Jerry Fuchs Tributes: In case you missed it last week, WPRB’s Jon Solomon produced a lovely tribute show to Jerry Fuchs who died tragically on November 8th. Dave McGurgan penned a really nice piece about Fuchs amazing drumming style and Henry Owings remembers his dear friend on Chunklet.

Jerry is survived by an impressive canon of records on which he’s performed, countless mouth-agape audiences in awe of his work, dozens of heart-crushed former bandmates, and an endless parade of true friends around the world. Jerry, your influence was profound and far-reaching. More

BTW, Jon Solomon will be our next guest on UsedWigs Radio.

Zach updates one of his greatest jokes ever, “My girlfriend looks a little like Charlize Theron… and a lot like Patrick Ewing.”

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis from Between Two Ferns

In this latest episode of the planet’s best talk show, Zach chats with Bradley Cooper, star of “The Hangover.”

Zach: “You’re on the cover of Details Magazine, which is a really good publication if you’ve run out of cologne.”

More: Enjoy our Interview with Zach from way back in 2004.

Sorry Ladies, This Hunk is Taken: Inventor Le Trung has made himself a robotic wife and it looks like he plans to have sex with it. Way to go Trung! Thanks for smashing to bits all those creepy Japanese scientist stereotypes.  His next invention: a high-powered robotic douche. [via Gizmodo]

Man, I Love That Cars Song: Funny website Comic vs. Audience deliciously breaks down a local Philly TV spot:  Steak ‘Em Up.

More Gifts for Lazy People: “Ya know, I’m a bit winded after making that paper airplane, I’m just gonna put it down here and take a nappy… (yawn)… if there was only some sort of contraption that would throw it for me…”

Zach Galifianakis to Star in Talking Guinea Pig Movie: When I am not listening to the almighty WOXY, I am listening to The Best Show on WFMU with Tom Scharpling. This past week he chatted with comedian Zach Galifianakis for a couple hours. It ruled. Listen up here.

Thanks for The Hair Hat, It’s Perfect, Exactly What I Wanted: Enough Good Gift Ideas, here’s a less-good, low-rent gift that you should only give to your annoying bald friends : Flair Hair.

No Nukes! Okay, Lots of Nukes! Just a little FYI to China if they start feeling their oats… (NSFW musical accompaniment)

“More than ten years after the end of the Cold War, the U.S. maintains 10,000 warheads and nuclear issues dominate international relations. These photographs reveal the missiles, warheads, bombers, submarines, and command centers that make up the United States’ far-flung nuclear infrastructure.”

Hey Kids, Don’t Go the Porn Route Just Yet: YouTube Videos Pull In Real Money.

The 10 Worst Predictions for 2008: Oops!

New Morrissey: Here’s (<<<) the Album art for “Years of Refusal” (2009). Love it.

GymBook: Based on the majority of my “friends” status updates, Facebook is just a public diary to let the world know if he/she went to the gym or not (feeling soooo lazy today!). And if he/she did go, then it’s also a wonderful  place to list his/her detailed workouts. This should stop now, right now, or I will start describing my bathroom visits. In detail.

Philly Comic Book Nerds, Enjoy: Here’s a very cool Charles Burns Video Interview. [via Philebrity]

Follow Us: Waste more time with us in small 140-character chunks on the Twitter (before it blows up): twitter.com/usedwigs

Holiday Cheer from Nirvana and RuPaul: The kids at Videogum dug up this old awkward and slightly sad gem:

Sorry Jersey, this is not some Eastern European Bruce impersonator, this is the real deal, America’s Boss learning some sweet-ass choreography. (Geez, it looked so natural in the video, who would have thunk it). I’m speechless yet overjoyed watching this. Thanks to the always brutal folks at Chunklet for digging up this large chunk of cringe.

Speaking of, Chunklet hates everything and that’s why we love them so. Issue #20 in now on newsstands, check it out, it’s jammed pack with our favorites like Ted Leo, Zach Galifianakis, AD Miles, Death Cab for Cutie, Mogwai and more.

Explain to me the politics involved behind the removal of the brilliant Late World from VH1 and the addition of the not-so-brilliant In Search of The Partridge Family.

The reason the show was cancelled was because no one watched it. Also, what we were doing on Late World did not necessarily fit in with the Banana Republic core audience. I have not seen The Partridge Family thing. I had cable once and that was when my show was on. I saw it one night and then cancelled it the next day.

I think that Late World featured musical guests that fit the show’s vibe perfectly. When you were first coming up with the concept, which was the first band/artist that you wanted to get for the show?

I was emailing the lead singer from My Morning Jacket often. I would tell him that I was doing a show and he wanted to be on. But that never worked out. I wanted to have on folks that were not getting a lot of radio play. VH1 had their list and I had mine. I was quite pleased to put on Rufus Wainwright.

Favorite genre of porn and why?

I am not really into porn. I have always wanted to go to a table read for a porn though. If I were to pick a genre it would have to be kitty porn (pornography with cats only) — often confused with you-know-what.

A lot of comedians have been finding their niche in “rock clubs.” Do you prefer performing in music or comedy venues? Why?

I think the crowds in comedy clubs sometimes want to see the same formula of stand-up. The scene in the rock clubs allows you to be more loose, almost a throwback to the early years of stand-up where anything goes.

Worst rock band ever?

The Offspring tied with Nickelback and Creed.

Give me a synopsis of your first time doing stand-up.

It was in the back of a hamburger joint in Times Square. I did a joke about not wanting to sleep on a girl’s futon because it rhymed with crouton. I do not recall anyone laughing.

When you’re out on the road, how many people are in your entourage? Please explain each member’s duties — e.g., who has to move the piano and who is in charge of grooming?

I take the baby grand as a carry-on. It sucks. As far as an entourage, I travel with my beard stylist and headshotist. I also have two people in charge of my iPod. They worked with Eudora Welty with her Discman.

Favorite drink that you only drink when you’re already way too drunk?

Diet Tequiza or a gin and Capri Sun.

What is the creepiest letter you have received from a Tru Calling fan?

A gentleman sent me nine very nice pornographic shots of himself. He was a doctor from Venezuela.

Let’s say there is a sitcom about Satan. What is the title and who is cast as Satan?

The name of the show would be called “Satan It” (like hating it). If Satan himself were not available (I think he is tied up in a deal with PAX), I would look to cast any of the hosts of Entertainment Tonight or Laura Bush.

When watching you on stage, I always get the sense you are a musician at heart and your in-between-song stage patter just formed a life of its own. Is this true, or have you always felt more like a comedian who uses music?

I really don’t use music that much. If there is a piano there I will take advantage of it. I am just trying to do what I think may be funny. I am not a musician. That answer was too serious, so let me add something funny here: When are we going to stop paying so much attention to the Middle East and focus on the real threat, North IKEA? That should do.

How much would you be willing to pay for a really good sandwich?

I just got the same question when I did an interview with The Economist. I will tell you what I told them. What I pay for a sandwich is none of your business. It is a very private issue to me. I will talk about anything but sandwiches. My great aunt died in “The Great Mortadella Sandwich Incident” in the 1930s, and it is still very difficult for me to discuss sandwiches — any sandwich, and especially what I will pay for one.

Which role in any 1980s movie do you feel that you could have done better?

Gandhi. I would have cast Bill Cosby in that role. Everything else I would have left the same. I would also probably make “Danger Zone,” the Kenny Loggins tune, part of the soundtrack for Gandhi.

Do you write bits of music for your show or is it pretty much improvised? Also, do you find yourself playing the same music for the same jokes over time?

The music is all improvised. I cannot read music. Only a certain type of music works with the jokes. I try to do three new jokes a night no matter how bad they are. The music stays the same and I change up the material.

Jason Priestley: Hunky or Dreamy?

The Priest? If you combine those two, what do you get? Drunky.

The L.A. comedy scene is bubbling over with talent right now. Who do you see breaking out as the “next big thing”?

Besides Howie Mandel? I don’t know. I think there is so much potential within that scene. I just hope that it goes beyond Los Angeles. I would have to say Brody Stevens. I am only saying that because of all the suicidal phone calls I get from him. Hopefully he will read this.

Speaking of the L.A. comedy scene, is it supportive with a lot of camaraderie or is it bitchy with a lot of backstabbing?

Listen, I will be the first to say that there is too much of that crap. I hate that. I am a bit of a loner. I equally hate everyone the same.

Favorite all-time comedian?

Steve Coogan.

Favorite childhood joke?

My sister used to tell a great polack joke she made up when she was about six. It went like this: Why did the polack put his underwear on backwards? Because he did not have a front.

What’s on the horizon for Zach Galifianakis?

I may try to take my sister’s joke and make it into a feature length film for IMAX. Other than that, I don’t know. I hated acting on a television show that I had no creative input on. I think I may write a movie or something. A movie. There, I wrote it.