Ultra-Marathoner Admits He Just Hates His Family
By Jeff on Aug 5, 2008 in News | 31 Comments
“To be completely honest, I despise running, HATE IT! Competing in these insane 100-mile running races on the weekends and all the training that goes with it is utter torture,” said ultra-marathoner Marc Skednick of Philadelphia as he applied super glue to a heel blister the size of a plum. “That said, I continue to do it because I hate spending time with my family a thousand times more than competing in this ridiculous sport.”
“My strict training method consists of running about 20 miles a day in preparation for my weekend races that take place twice a month. As you can see it doesn’t allow much time for me to spend with my nagging wife or bratty kids… actually, it leaves absolutely no face time for me and my family. I’m really not sure what the 12-year-old looks like now. Or is she 13? Not sure, anyway, gotta motor…” Skednick finishes tending to his wound, slowly gets up and continues his daily run as the clock strikes 10:45pm.
The 6-foot-1, 135-pound Skednick runs for a few hours before and after work and usually eats all his meals while running. In keeping with his family-shunning ways, Skednick makes sure to take off his Bluetooth before a run just in case a family member might want to get in touch. “I pretend to need ‘total concentration’ while running, so I ask my family not to call me.”
When asked if he misses seeing his daddy, Skednick’s 10-year-old son quickly responds “Do you want to play Guitar Hero? Or go kill some ants?” before he darts into the other room to punch his sister in the back of her head.
His wife Nancy puts her husband’s hobby into perspective, “It keeps him happy. He sure seems to love it!”
The long-long-distance runner describes his upcoming 135-mile event, “Like most of the races, this one is in the desert, about a million degrees. I usually puke on average about ten times a day from dehydration and exhaustion but that doesn’t deter me, not even the hallucinations can stop me. It’s sooooo much better than watching dance recitals and soccer games.”
“I’m motivated by that ‘Not-seeing-my-family-high’ that many runners get after logging in a few miles on the pavement. It makes all the leg cramps, eroded cartilage, third-degree sunburn, pants crapping, and the intense stabbing pain that jets up through my spine every time I begin to move my feet all worth it.”
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TAGS: fitness • Marathon • marathons • Philadelphia • Philly • running • Sports • ultra-marathon • ultramarathons
At last! Now I understand why my husband does it. Actually, I compared ultra running to him having a mistress, but I think I like this explanation better.
Kirsten | Aug 10, 2008 | Reply
At last! Now I understand why my husband does it. Actually, I compared ultra running to him having a mistress, but I think I like this explanation better.
Kirsten | Aug 9, 2008 | Reply
What a Douche-bag!!!!!!!!
Gerth | Aug 13, 2008 | Reply
What a Douche-bag!!!!!!!!
Gerth | Aug 12, 2008 | Reply
His kids will grow up and want to spend just as much time with thier ” broken old man ” as he did with them, then it’s a little too late.. In a perfect world men like him would be sterile!! What an ass!!!
STACEY | Aug 13, 2008 | Reply
His kids will grow up and want to spend just as much time with thier ” broken old man ” as he did with them, then it’s a little too late.. In a perfect world men like him would be sterile!! What an ass!!!
STACEY | Aug 13, 2008 | Reply
I can’t believe how much this guy urks me!!If his wife is smart she’d divorce him and eventually find another worth while companion that maybe her kids might have a chance with a decent guy that could be a positive roll model and father figure. His kids deserve a better father! There are so many people who have lost thier children in tragedy, or not been able to have them at all and he hates his..what an aweful thing to say about your family!!! LOSER!!
stacey | Aug 13, 2008 | Reply
I can’t believe how much this guy urks me!!If his wife is smart she’d divorce him and eventually find another worth while companion that maybe her kids might have a chance with a decent guy that could be a positive roll model and father figure. His kids deserve a better father! There are so many people who have lost thier children in tragedy, or not been able to have them at all and he hates his..what an aweful thing to say about your family!!! LOSER!!
stacey | Aug 13, 2008 | Reply
Is this guy for real or is this some kind of spoof? Because it does not sound funny. If you really do not like your family that much, do not have one.
asithi | Aug 14, 2008 | Reply
Is this guy for real or is this some kind of spoof? Because it does not sound funny. If you really do not like your family that much, do not have one.
asithi | Aug 14, 2008 | Reply
Sounds like a spoof of Ultra-marathon man. I like it. I also like the book too.
I think you should have named the runner “Mean Badazes”.
Brandon | Aug 15, 2008 | Reply
Sounds like a spoof of Ultra-marathon man. I like it. I also like the book too.
I think you should have named the runner “Mean Badazes”.
Brandon | Aug 14, 2008 | Reply
Does anyone know of anything a fat guy can do that takes up a similiar amount of time?
Should also be inexpensive and if possible include food.
patrick | Aug 20, 2008 | Reply
Does anyone know of anything a fat guy can do that takes up a similiar amount of time?
Should also be inexpensive and if possible include food.
patrick | Aug 20, 2008 | Reply
… and beer.
patrick | Aug 20, 2008 | Reply
… and beer.
patrick | Aug 20, 2008 | Reply
I am a wife/mom, amateur Half-Iron Triathlete/Marathoner, teacher, in that order. Yes, it can be done. I plan my runs around my son’s sport schedule, so that I can pick him up and hear about his day before he decides it was not important to tell me. My swims are when practice is held, and my bike rides are when others have their activities, or better yet, with my husband. Parents should also “have a life,” but remember that your kids are only kids for a short period of time. Now, I wonder if my husband sent this article to me as a “reminder.”
Joanne | Dec 28, 2008 | Reply
I am a wife/mom, amateur Half-Iron Triathlete/Marathoner, teacher, in that order. Yes, it can be done. I plan my runs around my son’s sport schedule, so that I can pick him up and hear about his day before he decides it was not important to tell me. My swims are when practice is held, and my bike rides are when others have their activities, or better yet, with my husband. Parents should also “have a life,” but remember that your kids are only kids for a short period of time. Now, I wonder if my husband sent this article to me as a “reminder.”
Joanne | Dec 27, 2008 | Reply
Why did you get married? you are a selfish basterd you are not an athleic you have no morals you are a pig making your body strong without a brain or feeling it means nothing they should kick you out of the sport you moran.
You are a narssictic Ass,you belong to be treated as a criminal of law you do not deserve your family.
sushi | Dec 6, 2009 | Reply
Why did you get married? you are a selfish basterd you are not an athleic you have no morals you are a pig making your body strong without a brain or feeling it means nothing they should kick you out of the sport you moran.
You are a narssictic Ass,you belong to be treated as a criminal of law you do not deserve your family.
sushi | Dec 6, 2009 | Reply
Hilarious spoof article and even more hilarious comments from people too stupid to realise it’s a spoof.
Not A Sheep | May 13, 2012 | Reply
one word: bowling!
whoabubba | Jun 13, 2012 | Reply
“There are so many people who have lost thier children in tragedy, or not been able to have them at all and he hates his..what an aweful thing to say about your family!!! LOSER!!”
You have to wonder for comments like this whether the poster is being funny, or is simply a total moron.
binglerunner | Jun 13, 2012 | Reply
Funny! I think I’ll stick to just marathons with my supportive husband on the sideline chearing me on!
Patti | Jun 13, 2012 | Reply
Man, this was pretty funny.
Sarah Brennan | Jun 13, 2012 | Reply
Totally awesome justifications for Ultra Training. Right on.
Charles Miske | Jun 13, 2012 | Reply
The author didn’t work too hard to make the article sound realistic, yet there were several people who missed the boat entirely and thought he was legit. Sigh. His next article should be about the over-importance of understanding what you read, written from the point of view of someone who is a war-time translator for a president.
Gus | Jun 13, 2012 | Reply
Masturbation works for me.
Fiddler Crab | Jun 15, 2012 | Reply
patrick, you could take up triathlons, fat guys like it and you eat while riding a bike.
Ilene | Jun 15, 2012 | Reply