Useful Noncommittal Responses
By Jeff Lyons on Nov 25, 2007 in Daily Distractions, Lists
Why offend when confronted with people's questionable taste? Just answer politely with the following meaningless responses.
Situation: A coworker goes on and on about a lame place they visited.
Response: "I can totally see you having fun there."
Situation: A friend tells you about a horrible band he just loves.
Response: "I hear they have many fans."
Situation: You are served horrible food at a friend's house.
Response: "I can tell this is homemade."
Situation: Someone gushes about a lame TV show or movie.
Response: "That's so right up your alley."
Situation: A woman friend asks your opinion on her god-awful outfit.
Response: "I bet you'll get a lot of wear out of that."
Situation: The viewing of a less than attractive newborn.
Response: "Wow, what a baby!"
Situation: A buddy asks what you think about his new ugly girlfriend.
Response: "Dude, she seems really into you."
Situation: A gal pal asks what you think about her new ugly boyfriend.
Response: "He seems like the type that won't cheat."
Situation: You discover your boyfriend is small in the pants.
Response: "It's the perfect size."
Situation: A good friend shows you his cheesy website.
Response: "I don't know which animation to look at first!"
Situation: A guy at a party boasts about his boring job.
Response: "Holy cow, I could never do what you do!"
Situation: A friend gabs about her upcoming wedding for months on end.
Response: "I cannot wait 'til you get married. We're all counting the days."
Situation: An acquaintance asks what you think about her new hair style.
Response: "You know, not everyone can pull that off."
Situation: You're barraged with Atkins-based dieting advice.
Response: "Doctors say you should have your cholesterol checked regularly."
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Tags: funny • Funny Lists • humor • Self-help






















This is my favorite thing you’ve ever written, bar none.
Scott | Oct 25, 2007 | Reply
Except you didn’t really write this, did you Jeff?
Gary | Oct 28, 2007 | Reply
gary,
yes, I did write these, they originally appeared on UsedWigs about two years ago. I just updated our site (new platform) and I am re-posting our older content. Lots more dated content coming soon!
Jeff Lyons | Oct 28, 2007 | Reply
I do believe Gary got owned?
Shane | Oct 29, 2007 | Reply
Oh yes, he did indeed. He did indeed.
Shaner | Nov 3, 2007 | Reply
One of the best lists of the year! Lovin’ it.
Ivana | Dec 5, 2007 | Reply
that was insanely funny
Frank | Dec 17, 2007 | Reply
Wow! I can totally see you guys writing a list like this!!
rawbacon | Aug 17, 2008 | Reply
thanks mr. bacon! Hey, wait a minute…. ahh touché.
Jeff Lyons | Aug 17, 2008 | Reply