Useful Noncommittal Responses

noncomittal

Why offend when confronted with people's questionable taste? Just answer politely with the following meaningless responses.

Situation: A coworker goes on and on about a lame place they visited.
Response: "I can totally see you having fun there."

Situation: A friend tells you about a horrible band he just loves.
Response: "I hear they have many fans."

Situation: You are served horrible food at a friend's house.
Response: "I can tell this is homemade."

Situation: Someone gushes about a lame TV show or movie.
Response: "That's so right up your alley."

Situation: A woman friend asks your opinion on her god-awful outfit.
Response: "I bet you'll get a lot of wear out of that."

Situation: The viewing of a less than attractive newborn.
Response: "Wow, what a baby!"

Situation: A buddy asks what you think about his new ugly girlfriend.
Response: "Dude, she seems really into you."

Situation: A gal pal asks what you think about her new ugly boyfriend.
Response: "He seems like the type that won't cheat."

Situation: You discover your boyfriend is small in the pants.
Response: "It's the perfect size."

Situation: A good friend shows you his cheesy website.
Response: "I don't know which animation to look at first!"

Situation: A guy at a party boasts about his boring job.
Response: "Holy cow, I could never do what you do!"

Situation: A friend gabs about her upcoming wedding for months on end.
Response: "I cannot wait 'til you get married. We're all counting the days."

Situation: An acquaintance asks what you think about her new hair style.
Response: "You know, not everyone can pull that off."


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  • billybob
    "..got owned", so "lame"..
  • Gary Again
    These responses are terribly transparent. Any one with half a brain would see through these. A bold face lie would be better.
  • Coocoocachoo
    Situation: You discover your boyfriend is small in the pants.
    Response: "Well, at least it won't bump into my Cervix."


    that's better.
  • Jeff Lyons
    thanks mr. bacon! Hey, wait a minute.... ahh touché.
  • rawbacon
    Wow! I can totally see you guys writing a list like this!! :)
  • Frank
    that was insanely funny :)
  • One of the best lists of the year! Lovin' it.
  • Oh yes, he did indeed. He did indeed.
  • Shane
    I do believe Gary got owned?
  • Jeff Lyons
    gary,

    yes, I did write these, they originally appeared on UsedWigs about two years ago. I just updated our site (new platform) and I am re-posting our older content. Lots more dated content coming soon!
  • Gary
    Except you didn't really write this, did you Jeff?
  • Scott
    This is my favorite thing you've ever written, bar none.
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