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Tip Cups Now Conveniently Available Everywhere
For years restaurants and diners were the only places customers could show their gratitude for good service by leaving a generous tip for their servers. Lately, such stores as Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts have placed tip cups on their counters, much to the delight of their satisfied patrons looking to handsomely reward the workers who expertly fill their coffee cups and efficiently ring up their imposing orders.
Now, many other service-related industries and businesses are getting in on the act and customers everywhere with heavy wallets and bulging purses couldn't be happier.
Fill 'er Up Please
"I just went in for a triple-bypass and had a really wonderful experience with the nice doctors and nurses. As I was being wheeled out of the hospital two hours after my surgery, I noticed a large, Big Gulp sized cup on the nurses' station counter with a clever little saying: 'Tipping is Not a City in China!' written on it. Wow, these people are professional, caring and funny! They really deserved the ten-spot I dropped in the cup," said happy patient Barbara McIntire.
"We used to have a 'Donate to the Children's Cancer Fund' jar on the counter. But we had to move it to make room for the new cup," reported Head Nurse Kathleen Byrne.
Retail giants like Banana Republic have also made room on their expertly organized counters for these gratuity containers. In between the displays of BR Mints, BR Party CDs and the new BR Nipple and Cock Rings, customers will find large stainless steel "tip cup" travel mugs stylishly etched with the slogan "Tips are Now in Fashion!"
"I almost bought a pair of single-pleat khakis, but Spenser quickly chided me and assured me flat-fronts were still in and would look better on my frame. You can't pay enough for that kind of fashion advice. I had no qualms about slipping a fiver in the tip cup," said satisfied customer Carl Concannon. "Plus he was very cute!"
Check Out That Cup
Supermarkets have also realized the importance of letting their customers bestow monetary guerdons to their assiduous staff. Weekly shopper Charlie Cilli was pleased as punch to show his gratitude at a recent visit to his local Acme. "The check-out girl Wendy is so super. She allowed me to bag my entire $196.00 order myself (knowing how anal I am about such things) while she chatted to her co-workers. She wears this big plastic cup taped to the front of her smock with 'College Funds - Tips Welcome' written on it. How could I not give her a few extra dollars? Sweet kid."
Even though all of these workers are actually paid to do their jobs, and in most cases, paid quite well, most sensible people agree everyone deserves "a little something extra for the effort." We're talking money here… cash, not some worthless, intangible pleasantries like, "thank you" or "I appreciate your help."
In a rare case, you will find a voice of dissent. "I cannot buy a frigging newspaper without some fuckwad and his cup begging me for a tip. I just put a 'Tips Appreciated' cup on top of my cubical at work. Maybe one of those douche bags in the marketing department will slip me some coin next time they bother me with some last-minute text changes on a fucking Friday afternoon at 5:29 p.m. when I'm almost out the damn door…" stated peeved Web designer Aaron Beebe.
Show Your Appreciation
Ralph Hummel, editor for Service Workers Monthly, reports the proliferation of tip cups, or as they are known in the industry, GIMMEEs (Gratuity Inducing Munificence Mugs Exist Everywhere), is a boon to workers who feel underpaid and under appreciated. "We love the cups, but we must not forget the importance of human contact. Don't be afraid to bear hug your waitress or tongue kiss that cute sales girl for a job well done."
And what about the grinchy stores and eateries that do not allow tipping? Grateful patrons are finding ways to schtup the help some side money in spite of no-tipping rules. "The girl at the coffee counter at Borders said she couldn't take tips, but she winked heavily while saying it," said one shopper. "I got the message and 'dropped' my change on the floor, then walked away quickly. She skulked over and snuck down and got it. Stuck it right in her bra. It was beautiful. Stick it to the man!"
Theodore Gumbrill
Wigs Business Reporter
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