The Goodness Vol. 5

October 30, 2018

Happy Halloween to my goth, horror and candy-loving friends. I enjoy this time of year but I am not a fan of being frightened, startled or spooked. The last scary movie I watched was Let The Right One In in 2009 — the pool scene still haunts me — so I am definitely not the right person to dole out horror movie recommendations. Luckily my pal, film buff Tom Coombe, will give you the lowdown on some lesser-known killer flicks below and oh boy, does he have some doozies. We have some other non-ghoulish goodness below too, so let’s get to gettin’, here is… (cymbal bell intro from “YYZ”)… The Goodness Vol. 5!

Scary Good Horror Films

by Tom Coombe

If horror movies had their Mount Rushmore, whose faces would we see? Michael Myers, without a doubt. Probably Jack Torrance, leering through the splintered doorway. Maybe Leatherface, or Regan MacNeil in full Pazuzu mode.

They’re all in the pantheon, and deservedly so. Their films will be at or near the top of every “Scariest Movies Ever” list that gets published this time of year.

But let’s go beyond those lists, which – let’s face it – are sort of like those Rolling Stone rankings that always manage to put Sgt. Pepper in the number one spot.

There are some great deep cuts below the surface, waiting for patient, discerning viewers. Here are 10 you might not have seen.

  1. You’re Next – A dysfunctional family finds themselves fighting off masked home invaders during a weekend gathering. Extraordinarily fun.
  2. Train to Busan – In a lot of zombie movies, it feels like the characters have spent their lives preparing to be in a zombie movie. Not so with this Korean film. It’s an interesting take, setting a zombie apocalypse in a nearly gun-free society.
  3. The Invitation – Will suspects something is off while attending a dinner party at his ex-wife’s house. Are the guests in danger…or is Will the danger? A slow, slow burn with a glorious payoff.
  4. We Are Still Here – A nice 80s throwback that does something rare for horror movies: it centers the story around middle-aged protagonists instead of teenagers/twenty-somethings.
  5. The “Safe Haven” segment from V/H/S 2 – Both installments of this found footage anthology are hit and miss, but if you can only watch one chapter, head to the sequel and see Gareth Evans and Timo Tjahjanto’s batshit story about a group of reporters investigating a cult.
  6. Last Shift – A supernatural spin on Assault on Precinct 13.
  7. A Dark Song – A grieving mother and a sketchy “occultist” hole up in a house in the Welsh countryside to perform a ritual. Quiet, thoughtful and unnerving.
  8. Lords of Salem – “Someone got the Kubrick box set for Christmas,” a friend of mine said when I showed him the trailer for this. And yeah, Kubrick’s influences are all over this Rob Zombie movie, which forgoes gore in favor of a rising sense of doom and some nightmarish imagery. I think it’s a minor classic.
  9. Kill List – Two British hitmen get a job that takes them places they don’t anticipate. I don’t want to say more about the plot, but I will say that I don’t recommend this one to a wide audience. It’s brilliant but brutal.
  10. The Devils – Ken Russell’s classic about demonic/witchcraft hysteria at a 17th-century French convent. Beautiful to look at, haunting and harrowing. This one is hard to watch—literally. It’s not on DVD, and you can only stream it on FilmStruck. But check it out of you get a chance.

Tom Coombe is a copywriter and novelist/screenwriter in progress. Follow him @CalmTomb and read him here: http://medium.com/@CalmTomb

Say Hello to My Deadly Friend

Here’s my favorite horror movie scene of all time.

https://youtu.be/PRT3C9Z9sCk

How the Massive Artworks at Music Festivals Are Created

“The process for creating music festival art is unique. Selected artists may be commissioned directly by festival organizers, who then work with them on their vision and design. Often, though, artists must go through an application process, which includes submitting ideas and mock-ups. From there, contracts are negotiated and timelines established.” Read more >

Beastie Boys Book

“With a style as distinctive and eclectic as a Beastie Boys album, Beastie Boys Book upends the typical music memoir. Alongside the band narrative you will find rare photos, original illustrations, a cookbook by chef Roy Choi, a graphic novel, a map of Beastie Boys’ New York, mixtape playlists, pieces by guest contributors, and many more surprises.” Get Some >

A Spy by Nature and The Spanish Game

by Charles Cumming

You blokes and birds like British spy novels in the vein of John le Carré, Frederick Forsyth, and Len Deighton? Well, I sure do. It’s fun to pretend to be a suave international spy with a photographic memory and bomb-defusing skills even if you can’t remember your social security number or how to say “hello” in more than two languages. My current go-to spy guy is Charles Cumming, an acclaimed British writer and one-time MI6 recruit who has written a bunch of top-notch espionage thrillers over that past two decades. Start with these Alec Milius books and then check out his three Thomas Kell novels. Oh, and remember:

  • MI5 – The Security Service, commonly known as MI5, is the United Kingdom’s domestic counter-intelligence and security agency.
  • MI6 – The Secret Intelligence Service, commonly known as MI6, is the United Kingdom’s foreign intelligence service.
  • French Fries are “chips.”
  • Chips are “crisps.”

Proceed.

 


Cast photo of Kids in the Hall.<br /> Dave Foley, Mark McKinney, Scott Thompson, Bruce McCulloch and Kevin McDonald (from left)

Very Good TV Themes Songs

Back in the 70s and 80s all sitcom theme songs were 8 to 10 minutes long and were performed live in front of the studio audience for every single episode. People loved it. I still know all the words to “The Laverne and Shirley” theme and would love to act out the opening credits montage with anyone who’d like to be Shirley to my Laverne. Sadly, original TV themes are pretty much a thing of the past. Most show openers are now 5 to 7 seconds long because our attention spans are pure garbage.

Here are some toe-tapping TV theme songs I’ve enjoyed throughout the years:

  1. “Aqua Teen Hunger Force” by Schoolly D
  2. “Feel it all Around” by Washed Out – “Portlandia”
  3. “Go” by Valley Lodge – “Last Week Tonight with John Oliver”
  4. “Buffy the Vampire Slayer Theme” by Nerf Herder
  5. “Your Hand In Mine” by Explosions In The Sky – “Friday Night Lights”
  6. “Having An Average Weekend” by Shadowy Men On A Shadowy Planet – “Kids in The Hall”
  7. “Paradise Circus” by Massive Attack – “Luther”
  8. “Teardrop” by Massive Attack – “House”
  9. “Fresh Prince of Bel Air” by DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince
  10. “We Used to Be Friends” by the The Dandy Warhols – “Veronica Mars”
  11. “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” by Jeff Richmond
  12. “Dog on Fire” by Bob Mould – “The Daily Show”
  13. “In Living Color” by Heavy D & the Boyz
  14. “Gravity Falls Theme Song” by Brad Breeck
  15. “The Office Theme” by Jay Ferguson & The Scrantones

Speaking of kick-ass theme songs, check out the weird and wonderful animated series “Ronja the Robber’s Daughter” brought to you by Studio Ghibli. It’s my family’s favorite TV series sing-a-long. Sing it with us!

Let’s Make Some Falafel!

Hell yeah!

Scary Good Songs

Behold a playlist of some new and old jams to enjoy while raking leaves or downing a large cup of steaming hot pumpkin juice.

Play On: Spotify | Google Play

Find Your Local Food Bank

There is never a bad time of year to help out those in need with food donations so let’s get a jump on the holiday season. Go to the Feeding America website and type in your zip code. FoodPantries.org is also a good resource to find smaller food pantries in your areas, many run by churches and community centers. In Philly, we are extremely lucky to have the hard-working and compassionate folks at Philabundance collecting and distributing food to the Delaware Valley. I’ve been down to their facility a couple times and it is a well-run machine. Volunteer or donate money if you can.

My New York Marathon

by Sebastien Samson

“A quiet, aging teacher decides to run the NY Marathon. Along the way, he transforms into the man he always wanted to be. Sebastien, a quiet and shy teacher, gets lost in the memories of his boyhood when he was a strong and successful runner. On a whim, he decides to challenge his aging body and crumbling spirit and run the New York Marathon!”

The thing I dread most about a marathon is not the actual run, it’s getting up super early, dragging your butt to the race with all of your crap, and then standing in a cold corral for an hour plus waiting and trying not to pee. This book captures that feeling quite well. I’m very excited to read it. Check out the exclusive preview at Paste.

My New York Marathon art by Sebastien Samson
My New York Marathon art by Sebastien Samson
My New York Marathon art by Sebastien Samson

Ultraviolet

British TV series (1998), available on YouTube

“The six-episode series, first aired in 1998, stars Jack Davenport as Detective Sergeant Michael Colefield, who discovers a secret government vampire-hunting unit while investigating the disappearance of his partner.”

Whenever people talk about vampire movies or TV shows, I always jump in excitedly and mention this captivating modern take on the sometimes stale vampire lore. Once I have successfully taken over the conversation, I must then convince them it’s not the dumb Milla Jovovich movie of the same name. This six-part series has a no-nonsense approach of a British crime procedural and most importantly, young Idris Elba costars.

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See ya!

Jeff Lyons

Author: Jeff Lyons

I am the proprietor of this dumb site and Philly Trail Runners. I also co-host Junk Miles with Chip & Jeff. You can follow my daily nonsense on Twitter and Bluesky .