Useful Noncommittal Responses
Why offend when confronted with people’s questionable taste? Just answer politely with the following meaningless responses.
Situation: A coworker goes on and on about an awful place they visited.
Response: “I can totally see you having fun there.”
Situation: A friend tells you about a dumb band he just loves.
Response: “I hear they have many fans.”
Situation: You are served horrible food at a friend’s house.
Response: “I can tell this is homemade.”
Situation: Someone gushes about a lame TV show or movie.
Response: “That’s so right up your alley.”
Situation: A woman friend asks your opinion on her ugly outfit.
Response: “I bet you’ll get a lot of wear out of that.”
Situation: The viewing of a less than attractive newborn.
Response: “Wow, what a baby!”
Situation: A buddy asks what you think about his new annoying girlfriend.
Response: “Dude, you two seem to have a lot in common.”
Situation: A gal pal asks what you think about her new unattractive boyfriend.
Response: “He seems like the type that won’t cheat.”
Situation: A guy at a party boasts about his boring job.
Response: “Holy cow, I could never do what you do!”
Situation: A friend gabs about her upcoming wedding for months on end.
Response: “I cannot wait ’til you get married. We’re all counting the days.”
Situation: An acquaintance asks what you think about her new hair style.
Response: “You know, not everyone can pull that off.”
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This is my favorite thing you’ve ever written, bar none.
This is my favorite thing you’ve ever written, bar none.
Except you didn’t really write this, did you Jeff?
Except you didn’t really write this, did you Jeff?
gary,
yes, I did write these, they originally appeared on UsedWigs about two years ago. I just updated our site (new platform) and I am re-posting our older content. Lots more dated content coming soon!
gary,
yes, I did write these, they originally appeared on UsedWigs about two years ago. I just updated our site (new platform) and I am re-posting our older content. Lots more dated content coming soon!
I do believe Gary got owned?
I do believe Gary got owned?
Oh yes, he did indeed. He did indeed.
Oh yes, he did indeed. He did indeed.
One of the best lists of the year! Lovin’ it.
One of the best lists of the year! Lovin’ it.
that was insanely funny 🙂
that was insanely funny 🙂
Wow! I can totally see you guys writing a list like this!! 🙂
Wow! I can totally see you guys writing a list like this!! 🙂
thanks mr. bacon! Hey, wait a minute…. ahh touché.
thanks mr. bacon! Hey, wait a minute…. ahh touché.
Situation: You discover your boyfriend is small in the pants.
Response: “Well, at least it won’t bump into my Cervix.”
that’s better.
Situation: You discover your boyfriend is small in the pants.
Response: “Well, at least it won’t bump into my Cervix.”
that’s better.
These responses are terribly transparent. Any one with half a brain would see through these. A bold face lie would be better.
These responses are terribly transparent. Any one with half a brain would see through these. A bold face lie would be better.
“..got owned”, so “lame”..
“..got owned”, so “lame”..
These aren’t noncommittal so much as sensitive to other people’s feelings.