Useful Noncommittal Responses

November 25, 2007

Why offend when confronted with people’s questionable taste? Just answer politely with the following meaningless responses.

Situation: A coworker goes on and on about an awful place they visited.
Response: “I can totally see you having fun there.”

Situation: A friend tells you about a dumb band he just loves.
Response: “I hear they have many fans.”

Situation: You are served horrible food at a friend’s house.
Response: “I can tell this is homemade.”

Situation: Someone gushes about a lame TV show or movie.
Response: “That’s so right up your alley.”

Situation: A woman friend asks your opinion on her ugly outfit.
Response: “I bet you’ll get a lot of wear out of that.”

Situation: The viewing of a less than attractive newborn.
Response: “Wow, what a baby!”

Situation: A buddy asks what you think about his new annoying girlfriend.
Response: “Dude, you two seem to have a lot in common.”

Situation: A gal pal asks what you think about her new unattractive boyfriend.
Response: “He seems like the type that won’t cheat.”

Situation: A guy at a party boasts about his boring job.
Response: “Holy cow, I could never do what you do!”

Situation: A friend gabs about her upcoming wedding for months on end.
Response: “I cannot wait ’til you get married. We’re all counting the days.”

Situation: An acquaintance asks what you think about her new hair style.
Response: “You know, not everyone can pull that off.”

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Jeff Lyons

Author: Jeff Lyons

I am the proprietor of this dumb site and Philly Trail Runners. I also co-host Junk Miles with Chip & Jeff. You can follow my daily nonsense on Twitter and Bluesky .

25 Replies to “Useful Noncommittal Responses”

  1. gary,

    yes, I did write these, they originally appeared on UsedWigs about two years ago. I just updated our site (new platform) and I am re-posting our older content. Lots more dated content coming soon!

  2. gary,

    yes, I did write these, they originally appeared on UsedWigs about two years ago. I just updated our site (new platform) and I am re-posting our older content. Lots more dated content coming soon!

  3. Situation: You discover your boyfriend is small in the pants.
    Response: “Well, at least it won’t bump into my Cervix.”

    that’s better.

  4. Situation: You discover your boyfriend is small in the pants.
    Response: “Well, at least it won’t bump into my Cervix.”

    that’s better.

  5. These responses are terribly transparent. Any one with half a brain would see through these. A bold face lie would be better.

  6. These responses are terribly transparent. Any one with half a brain would see through these. A bold face lie would be better.

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