# Welcome Back Squatter
# See Ya Loiter!
# Café Au Layabout
# The Writer’s Block
# American Idle Cafe
# Room for Mooch
# 30 Chairs, One Outlet

and many more!

Guests: Nikki Walter and Dan Eastman Topics: “Wow, That Was Close!” Stories, Baby-Endangering Chandeliers, Child-Swallowing Moon Bounces, Teen-Tripping Canadian Ice, Knife-Wielding Beggars, Hitting Heads and Seeing Stars, Drinking After-Shave, Cold Springs Junkyards, Throwing Fireworks at Friends, Todd’s Real Last Name and Park-Bench-Crushing Beer Trucks! Playlist: “Fall In” by Cloud Nothings and “Nothing to Worry About” [...]

Guests: Eric Smith and Yis Goodwin (Nosego) Topics: New Orleans, Prostitutes, Video Games, Designing iPhone Apps, Murals, CosPlay, Horrible Weight Loss Tips, Geekadelphia, Tattoo Conventions, Tertiary Star Wars Characters, Chip Tune Music, Master Chief Armor, Penguin Disbelief, “Hunger Games,” and Art Inspirations. Playlist: “Ruby” by Cheap Girls, “Chi-Town” by The Cribs and “UsedWigs” by Eli [...]

Topics: Holiday Fun, Worst Gifts Ever Given, Worst Gifts Ever Received, Dating Do’s and Don’ts, Gift Cards, Homemade Bikes, Fruit Presents, Hiding Twitter from Coworkers, People Being Horrible on Twitter, Men’s Fragrances, Tiny Husbands, Awkward Hugs, Best-Selling Christmas Music, Uncanny Valley, New Year’s Eve Hookups and The Kinks.

Hi loved ones, in addition to my laborious UsedWigs nonsense-spewing, I’m very excited to be contributing to the mighty Low Times. Here’s my first bit of business for them: Good Cover / Bad Cover – “Someday I Will Treat You Good” For every good cover version of a song, there is a bad one. Sorry, [...]

Guest: Jon Solomon has been playing and promoting top-notch indie music for years on the mighty WPRB. He can be heard every Wednesday night from 7:00 – 10:00 pm ET. Listen at wprb.com! Topics: Pumpkin Chucking, Russ “Fireballer” Starke, Fruit Slingshots, Halloween Superstores, Gig Posters, Jon’s 24-Hour Holiday Radio Show, Lenny & Squiggy, Ric Flair, [...]

With our schools being overrun with Sophias, Emmas, Jacobs and Ethans, finding new inspiration for naming our children is a must. Look no further than the safe confines of your home. Just open up the cabinets! Smucker Pam Beano Dyson Oral B. Cremora Flonase Ortega Comet Summer Eve Stouffer Drano Brawny Baco Dixie Monistat 7 [...]

“I was so excited to meet all these cool people! There is a great mix of kids in the club… jocks, cheerleaders, student body officers and lots of other popular kids. I never knew there were so many people into Scrabble word games, anagrams and etymology. It’s great! I even met a really nice girl and we are going on a date this Saturday night. I can’t wait…”

I’m pretty certain the Internet will blow up soon, and with that, millions upon million of nonsense-filled webpages and countless gigs of nut-punching videos will be lost forever. Sad, but it’s inevitable.
That’s why I gathered up some of my favorite musings from this website and put them in book form. They shall be preserved for the future generation of belligerent, ferocious apes who will one day enslave all humans and rule the earth… and learn to read. In that exact order. So, that’s why this book is staring you in the face. It’s for the apes.

Topics: The Pros and Cons of Parades, Best Music of 2010, The Soup, Zooey Deschanel is the Worst, Great TV of 2010, Beatles, Todd has Sick Voice, Conan Needs a Little Help, Community vs. Modern Family!, Andrew Bird Really Loves Whistling, Dumb Spitting Wrestlers, Good Comedians, Unemployed Sidekick, eMusic Blows, New Sherlock Holmes! Playlist: Whole Sky Monitor, Paper Bird, Versus, Bad Plus