Follow Karen Kilgariff

FAKE BREEDS I’VE TOLD PEOPLE MY DOG IS AT THE DOG PARK: Venetian Dabney, Brown Feta, Waxbeard, Oxnard Pike, Blue Hustler, High Presbyterian

— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) July 24, 2013

Quietly whispering “Shut up” as I scroll thru my feed

— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) July 6, 2013

TRUE STORY: I walked into a public bathroom last night, looked at the handicapped stall and thought, “Treat yourself.”

— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) November 29, 2012

I miss getting drunk and telling people how to live their lives and then falling into a hedge.

— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) July 12, 2012

To review, Chrissy Hynde is gonna make you notice her through the use of her: 1) arms 2) legs 3) stah 4) saltine 5) fingers 6) maginashaw

— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) July 30, 2013

What do people with huge earlobe spacers want us to do?

— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) April 11, 2013