Behold the precious, the staged and the most ridiculous in indie rock band photography! (Plus some non-indie faves.)
“Hi. I smell worse than you could ever imagine.”
“I know, it sucks. I still can’t believe Lost ended that way.”
Looking forward to Lady Fartz new record.
“It’s okay, Marni, you’re allowed to be sad when the Coors Light Summer Boat Party Cruise ends.”
“Hear ye, Hear ye! We suck.”
“Hi, welcome to Gloom City Cupcakes, how can we help you?”
“Yes, the kitchen is kinda small BUT there’s lots of space in the living room to hold your weekly Moping Club meeting.”
Meet The Buttholes
The upcoming season of Survivor promises to be the most brutal ever! Someone will die!!
“That’s right, someone will die… but it won’t be any of us!”
“I like to sneak up on the other guys and put this on their heads and say You hat me at hello! It cracks up everyone on our tour jet.”
“No, it’s cool Bethany, you just keep dancing and I’ll just keep looking for your fucking car keys.”
“Come along, muchachos! We’re meeting our bro Guy Fieri for some off-the-hook chili tacos! So money!”
Please come to this week’s Story Slam! Topic: “My Unfinished Novel Won’t Write Itself!”
Tonight on “Hipster House Flipsters”…
Death of the party
“I guess we’ll agree to disagree, Samantha… even though only an idiot would think Clive Burr was a better drummer than Nicko McBrain.”
“Be honest, is this working? I can grab a gramophone and a coonskin cap from the props department if not.”
“Shhhh… we’re tracking a sasquatch on a fixed-gear mountain bike.”
“Today’s episode of This American Life explores smile haters.”
“Um, we’re lost. Which way to Hello Giggles website?”
“Who installed the fuck out of this Ikea Månljüs pendant lamp? That would be us. We installed the fuck out of this Ikea Månljüs pendant lamp.”
Good to see Dave Attell with hair and in a band. He shreds.
To get away from all the tension, Fergus thinks about his happy place, Puppytown Junction, just like his therapist told him to do.
“Correct, St. Peter greets people up there and we’re the gate keepers down here. Welcome, friend!”
“Sometimes my guitar doesn’t want to play my songs and it tries to drive away.”
Available for weddings, parties, funerals…
“Look at me, I am a bass player. Please enjoy this visual joke, America!”
“Let’s do a Meet The Beatles thing, but make sure the Rick looks super tiny and stupid. Ya know, because he missed practice again.”
“Does anyone have a washboard and plectrum banjo Josiah and Annabelle can borrow?”
“Chloé, if the label wants us to change our name to ADORBS, I say we do it… because we are… let’s own it.”
“Help, how do you use Levels in Photoshop?”
Ghost Hunters: Brooklyn
“Come to our show mutherfuckers! We’re $30 away from getting Køng his own leather jacket!”
Come for our artisanal cheeses, stay for our six-pronged mandolin assault.
Yup, a V-neck with buttons. Deal with that mutherfuckers!
Grand Opening Sale-a-bration at the new Zero Dollar Store!
Support Y107′s Morning Hosts Grumpy and Pit Stain during this year’s “Stand-a-thon!”
“Thank you guys soooo much for your support!! Hugz and Luvz to all our fans!”
“Are you there God? It’s me… trying to look like you.”
And there they sat for hours in silence, all refusing to take responsibility for forgetting the picnic basket and Frisbee.
“Um Blythe, are you sure this is where the tweet said the Peruvian Barbeque Taco Truck would be parked?”
“Wake me if I get interesting.”
The Joy Less Club
“We will do whatever it takes to distract you from the music we play poorly.”
“Jonas calls them bottom burps, I call them not funny.”
“Hi, just taking a break. We’re chasing an angel through the forest. Have you seen her?”
“Shhh… if we bag this one, we eat for a month!”
“Let me be perfectly clear Willem, you WILL wear this hoodie-shirt I made you on stage and you WILL mention my Etsy store name!”
“When Boston Bruins playoff tickets go on sale, we’re ALWAYS first in line! ALWAYS! And no cutsies!”
Questions? Wake up one of our Sunglass Hut professionals for assistance!
Watch out Banksy, it’s Wanksy!
“What’s that Mr. Photographer? You want pensive? How does 300,000 mother-fucking kilowatts of pensive intensity sound?”
“If you must know, we find the all the “NO” responses to our Margarita Happy Hour Evite quite troubling.”
“Ladies and gents, give it up for Pop Pop and The Pouty Pouters!”
“Damian, it was actually quite simple. I used a Reveal All Layer Mask on Chambliss with the Gradient Tool set to Transparent. Also, I used Photoshop’s new Dour filter on the top three layers. Easy Peasy!”
“If you’re happy and you know it, you’re out of this band! clap clap!”
“Colton… Jarrod… is she gone yet? I’m afraid to look.”
“Yes, I feel country and yes I feel feminine. Just take the damn photo.”
“Shhhh… guess whose breath is atrocious?”
Darthikhus mumbles “Ringlets, much?” while looking at KhurchBurner’s new hairdo. SoulStainz stifles a laugh.
“I’m not mad, I just can’t believe you watched ‘Mike & Molly’ without me.”
Frosted Tips only $19.95 now at SupeCuts!
“Don’t you think for one second we don’t know the difference between the berries you CAN eat and the kind you CAN’T!”
“We like the same things!!! BFFz!!!”
This photo is pretty close to being cool… here, let me just add something…
I bet she could try a little harder to get noticed. Knee cymbals?
Listen you creeps, stop the disappointed staring thing. I will say it just one more time, “I’m not investing in your hemp clothing line!!”
The one-man white guy drumline is the worst kind of drumline.
“Buy four oxfords, get one free bow tie! Only at Lord Sullenton’s High Street Haberdashery.”
Oh how I wish this was Camp Crystal Lake.
Trevor mistakenly left the tent and fishing poles in the driveway.
“My wrinkled shirt makes me feel despondent and ashamed. Lars, please smile for both of us.”
“Dammit Simon! I CANNOT believe you just got us kicked out of Silly People Camp!”
“We are being cuter than you ever thought humanly possible, right? This was totally Gypsum and Nate’s idea!”
“Your move, Bonnie Prince Billy!”
“May I please borrow your lawn mower?”
“Join our fight against the Dharma Initiative and we promise to get you off this island.”
“Fuck you forest, we’re gonna chop down another too.”
“We are so in a fight right now.”
“I am so bored with you liking me.”
“Look guyzz, this where stinky homeless people live. Yuckee!”
The featured speakers at your next web design conference.
“Is that our sense of humor on the floor?”
“Yes dear, but don’t pick it up. We have no use for it.”
Watch where you step: Someone threw up filthy hipsters and kitsch all over the stage.
“No, I most certainly will NOT go jet skiing with you!
“I bang on drums!”
“I encourage Conan to make bad music!”
Look, Balki has GarageBand.
Native American Idiot
An accordion makes nothing better.
“I’ve been working out, can I go shirtless, pretty pleeeease!”
“Okay, but you know the rule, drummers in the back.”
“Make no mistake, when I’m done my smoke, your beer pong ass-kicking will commence.”
Pot rap, about as enjoyable as pot comedians.
Photographer: “Your ennui is overwhelming… perfect!”
Poor bedbugs, having these dirty hippies lying on top of them.
Listen pal, I don’t care who your father was…
“Almost there, still a little too natural and expected, try adding more quirky crap.”
“We’re being ironical, deal with it!”
This makes me hate toys.
Keep in Touch:
- Actors Who Were Too Old to Play Teens But Did Anyway
- Chinese Youths Crazy for English Alphabet Tattoos
- You’re About to Give Up on Your Health Kick Aren’t You?
- Useful Noncommittal Responses
- Appropriate Names for Coffee Shops with Free Wi-Fi
- SPIN Magazine’s Most Regrettable Covers 1985 – 2009