It's "Bev Niner" day and when I think of 90120, I think about The Heights and when I think about this atrocious knock-off of an atrocious show, I think about The GREATEST TV BAND EVER that featured a girl sax player, Balki Bartokomous on keyboards, young Darius Rucker slapping the bass and Michael Bolton Jr. coming dangerously close to making out with the singer who is best known for beating up Donna Martin. Remember that nastiness? I remember cheering.

Honestly, I don't recall much about this show, but I do love fake TV bands. Let's take a look at The Heights' photo. Well, what do you know? The 46-year-old bad boy of the group is wearing the same Hüsker Dü t-shirt I was probably wearing while growing out my sideburns and singing along to this angelic tune back in 1992. Two questions: Why is there a chain link fence directly against a wall? Why is Bolton Jr. sitting so low?

Wow, that long-necked, sax-sucking chick is Cheryl Pollak. Remember her? She was in a ton of stuff back in the late 80s, early 90s, most notably My Best Friend Is a Vampire, Melrose Place and one of Brad Pitt's first awful movies about a boy who can't get a decent tan.

This show  lasted only one year, a year too long for most people's liking. That said, it was better than that other knock-off, 2000 Malibu Road, starring fun-killer Drew Barrymore and that guy with the dreamy eyes.

Back to music. Like you, my favorite TV band of 1992 was probably "The Dreams"

What the fuck happened to these actors? Wait, this just in: "The Dreams are regrouping with original line-up and will play Coachella, Bumbershoot, Doodlyfarts and Pitchfork Fest in 2011."

Best TV band ever? That's easy, Dregs of Humanity...

Okay, I'm tired of of my own nostalgia. I'm done. There are more videos to watch... Oh, Dear Lord, NO!

Twitter is a contest and every day I pick the winner (except for Sundays, that's when the Lord and I rest). Have a suggestion? Lemme know.

September 1

Charlie Murphy suffers from Clint Howard Effect: his face is so close to his celeb sibling's, only somehow, it's 10x creepier.
- straintest

August 31

It's a tough moment in a young man's life when he realizes he no longer finds the shirts at bustedtees.com funny.
- croninwhocares

August 30

I make my best decisions after a glass of wine. Except for the decision to have a glass of wine, which I make after five beers.
- pomranz

August 28

I am never not terrified when I'm inside a 7eleven.
- Imaliwaller

Read the rest

"Too much Galifianakis" does not exist in my vocabulary. This is outstanding. (Best of luck at camp, Zach!)

Junk Mail: Just got Sex: Our Bodies, Our Junk in the mail. Yup, had to order online, I was too ashamed to buy it in the bookstore during my weekly visit to pick up OK!, People and Asian Lady Holz. Since ripping open the package 2 hours ago, I've been hiding from my family, reading and enjoying the hell out of this very funny and highly uninformative sex manual. The book is jam-packed full of sexy, hairy nuggets of info and advice separated into short, easy-to-digest segments, perfect for the sporadic reader. It was researched and written by The Association For The Betterment of Sex aka Scott Jacobson, Todd Levin, Jason Roeder, Mike Sacks, and Ted Travelstead (writers for esteemed shows and mags like Conan, Daily Show, The Onion, Esquire, Vanity Fair) with additional morsels provided by Andy Richter, Allison Silverman and Jon Wurster.

If you're a fan of finely-tuned parody, stellar design and highly-detailed illustrations of mushroom-shaped penises, this book is a must. Sample:

...or the do's and don'ts of fisting at high altitudes. Or whether it's still considered safe to store your condoms in Barbicide. Sexual truth is never a constant—it varies from one mature, engorged partner to the next. It's up to you to decide what turns you on and what gives you AIDS.  We're here not to judge you but to guide you. To gently take your hand while you're having sex and to sit on a bedside stool, patiently waiting for you to finish.

It's the perfect coffee table book. If your coffee table is located in the seldom-used, third floor bathroom.

Buy: Sex: Our Bodies, Our Junk

Promo: Video

Follow The Authors: @ourbodiesourj @toddlevin @trumpetcake @straintest @michaelbsacks @jasonsroeder

Parade of Frightening T-Shirts: Intrepid UsedWigs and Huff Post reporter SM Shrake went deep undercover to the Beck Rally and snapped some lovely photos! He also documented his day of hunting the big fat tee shirts. It's a good read, and you might be surprised by his take on the participants.

Mr. Clapton, Me, too.

Ha Ha! Enjoy a great video of Scott Weiland and his dumb megaphone falling off the stage during a concert. Somehow, he was able to keep singing without missing a note... wait a minute... is that a backing track? Best fall since Frasier ate it. (via eachnotesecure)

Emmy Thought #1: I'd love to see Jim Belushi in this show... dressed as his dead brother and smashing Jimmy Fallon's guitar.

Emmy Thought #2: Emily Deschanel is the sister that doesn't sing, right? I thank her for that.

Emmy Thought #3: Fake confusion and fake anger for winning is always endearing. Nice job, Soprano mom.

Looking for a Social Media job? Need to prepare with some extremely unhelpful interview questions?

Great & Sad & Heartbreaking & Inspiring: Please, please please read this. If you're a parent or a just human who enjoys incredibly well-written and emotional stories, this should move you: A Supposedly Fun Thing I Would Do Again in a Second. Thanks to @caissie

Free MP3! Versus is back and serves up two beauties (via Magnet). Download: "Gone to Earth" and "Invincible Hero"

Bad Ads: Give Golden Corral credit, they use people with real buffet aficionado bodies in their ads. So you know who you're up against when vying for the ham.

Scary Good Art! Monster Friends Poster Series by Family Tree Design! The Sasquatch, The Kraken, a Yeti and this cute fella...

See all four!

Low Bridge: 13 Crashes in 13 Months "This is a compilation of the 13 crashes from April 2008 to May 2009 at the Gregson St RR trestle in Durham. The soundtrack is by Killer Filler."

"What do you see yourself Tweeting five years from now?"

"How quickly can you Retweet a @mashable tweet?"

"Please use harness in a sentence about social media. Great, now pretend I'm a client and use it five different times in one short conversation."

"What is your stance on tagging friends who look drunk in photos?"

"If I give you a cat, a piano and our product. Tell me what kind of video you'd create and how you'd make it go viral."

"What is your experience with posting brand-promoting comments on popular blogs using 250 different aliases?"

"Would you describe your Social Media Persona as a People Persona?"

"Gowalla, Foursquare or Facebook Places? In your opinion, what's the best application to let our followers know exactly when we are picking up our dry cleaning?"

"What are you currently the mayor of? Where do you see yourself being mayor of this time next year?"

"Do you have a background in glocal crowdsourcing for brand building using targeted channels?"

"About how long would it take you to update a 250-slide social media PowerPoint presentation on a daily basis with images of the latest memes and buzz words?"

"There's talk of this word 'plan' regarding social media. Not familiar. What have you heard?"

"Would you be comfortable starting with the title 'Social Media Rock Star' and if all goes well in the first year, promoted to 'Social Media Hollywood Triple Threat'?"

Photo: Todd spills beer. Awaits the wrath of Russ.

Topics: Keeping Twitter Fun & Informative, Tweeting Comedians, Bad College Beer, iPad Flipboard Review, Todd Defends Foursquare and Gowalla, Russ Defends DJ Music, Jeff Reviews Scott Pilgrim, Arcade Fire Hype, Comedy Central Roasts, Viggo Mortensen, Frank Zappa, Poop Book, Thin Magazines and Cool Yeasayer Video and The Worst Song in The World (Hi, Train!)

Preview: "C'mon Todd, the band X! John Doe, Exene Cervenka, Billy Zoom??" "As far as I know you are making this band up."

Playlist: Javelin, Bottomless Pit and The Young Veins

Play Now: http://www.usedwigs.com/pod/podcast78.mp3

iTunes: Download, Listen and Subscribe

Website: www.usedwigsradio.com

Video: Watch Todd spill a beer and Russ clean it up! (24:39)

Ted Leo And The Pharmacists - "Bottled In Cork" (Official Video)

"Take a whispering class!" Vote Funny.

More: Funny Videos for Great Songs

The Switch - Like it or not, Jennifer Aniston movies will always be made. Even if her next 3 movies earn $30 each and secret phone tapes are released of her saying Haiti deserved it, Hollywood will not stop putting this Friend in films. Why? Because Brad Pitt wronged her and she deserves to be in as many films as she likes and date as many of her costars as she can. It's only fair.

More: How Jennifer Aniston Chooses a Film

In theaters: August 20th, 2010

Due Date - Looks like Alan Garner & Iron Man have remade Planes, Trains & Automobiles (sans planes & trains). Looks fun enough.

In theaters: November 5th, 2010

Skyline - What, not even a glimpse of the aliens? These space creatures better be the coolest, scariest, anal-probingest, bad-ass muther-effers ever created in the history of sci-fi cinema because this premise is completely overcooked and overdone (Signs, District 9, War of the Worlds, Independence Day)  and this trailer is a complete snoozer.

In theaters: November 12th, 2010

Black Swan - Single White Female + Mommie Dearest + evil skin rashes + that weirdo Darren Aronofsky = I'll be confused at the end and not really satisfied. More importantly, Natalie Portman is hotter then the "That 70's Show" chick. Just thought I'd nip that argument in the bud.

In theaters: December 1st, 2010

Let Me In - This is an American remake of the brilliant, blood-chilling Norwegian kid vampire film Let The Right One In. You can tell a Hollywood marketing exec got his paws on it by the injection of that atrocious, nu metal garbage music in the trailer. Save your money and just rent the original, there is no way on earth it can be better than the original. The pool scene still haunts my dreams.

In theaters: October 1st, 2010

The Next Three Days - And the "Giving 95% of the Film Away in Stupid Trailer" award goes to... Could you have at least kept us in the dark about whether Russel Crowe is able to break his daughter out of jail? What's that? Liz Banks is supposed to be his wife? Creepy.

In theaters: November 19th, 2010

Make your Friday better with this super fun song and video starring former Sleater-Kinney member Carrie Brownstein. It's the first single from their forthcoming record Personal Life on Kill Rock Stars. (via pitchfork)

Download MP3: I Don't Believe You

Release Date: September 7

Order: www.buyolympia.com

After 26 months of almost 100-percent inactivity, OviTech Solutions' office shower has been designated the new official storage area for copy paper, file folders and presentation binders. Office manager Pam Superstein made the announcement in an intra-office email.

The audibly disappointed Superstein described the situation,"When they first designed the office, we had high hopes for the shower. Everyone said we needed at least two shower stalls since many of the employees would be biking and running to and from work. We're a technology company with lots of young, energetic people, so it made sense."

"I think our CEO, Red, used it once the first week we moved in, after a quick lunchtime run. He made a big deal about it, walking around the office in his sweaty clothes for a good while. He hasn't run since. No one has."

Programmer Chris Duffy, whose cube sits adjacent to the new utility and storage center/closet, nodded and added: "People just started putting crap in the shower — old monitors, boxes, food wrappers... there wasn't room anywhere else, I guess. I took the giant bottle of Prell last month, hate to see that go to waste."

Superstein added, "The shower was hip and humanizing in a way, but converting it makes more sense from a square-inchage [sic] perspective."

Just a month earlier, OviTech Solutions had converted its "gym" room — which consisted of a stationary bike, a treadmill, two Thighmasters and a Bowflex — into a new sales office, retrofitted with eight space-saver cubes. The gym equipment was offered to the employees at cost plus 10 percent. No takers.

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