It’s always a “My teacher’s in my house!”-type giddy feeling when my two worlds collide: When my “teacher” (L&O or the other fictional crime show I watch now because it's on every channel all the time, Criminal Minds) “comes to” my “house” (Facebook, Twitter, etc., aka the world you and I all basically live in now).
I’m talking about the weaving of big-name social networking sites into the plots on Law & Order (and its spinoffs such as Major Cases and Sexy Victims’ Units), made extra weird by the fake names the shows’ writers have come up with presumably to shield against legal action: The amusing “Facespace” (a kind of MySpace/Facebook hybrid) has recently changed to “Faceunion.” The same recent episode featured an iPhone app and website called “Anonymous Quickie” (obviously meant to stand in for Grindr, the GPS-based hookup tool that promiscuous gay future Sexy Victims use).* I'm waiting (on L&O or off) for an x-rated Facebook called Facef*ck.
Look, I don’t have a fancy writing degree from New York City’s prestigious Hudson University. And yet with my new storyblog I’ve had occasion to come up with some, dare I say, ingenious pseudonyms for many of the people, places, and things in my true stories. I went “à clé” to protect their identities, especially mobbed-up people I’ve known.
So I thought I’d quickly just try my hand at this, with some...
This is when a Facebook rookie or clueless user makes a completely off-topic comment on your post thread instead of posting directly on your wall or sending you a message.
Misguided Missive
The king of newbie mistakes, inadvertently "posting" (publicly) on someone's wall instead of sending them a "message" (privately).
Disapostment
One of the best things about Facebook is posting something and having people comment on it, hopefully in a positive light. When you see that beautiful tiny red notification beacon of back-patting light up with a number in the bottom right corner of your screen, you immediately become excited!
" Awesome, someone must have LOVED my latest clever post! Who could it be? I'm so excited!... Let's take a look... NO!!!!!!!!"
Disappointment, or as we now say, disapostment, quickly sets in as you read the notification and it does not pertain to your post! Instead it's a comment from some lame-o stranger (or a stepfriend) who also commented on some friend's dumb movie quote you "liked" five weeks ago and forgot about.
"Dammit!! No more 'liking' stuff or commenting! Ever!!! It's all about me!"
Chattack
You're having a lovely evening drinking some wine, checking in with the old Facebook, seeing who's up to what... having some giggles, looking at some old funny photos and...
BLOOOP! [Chat Window opens]
AGHH! Chat Attack!!!
Nooooooo! Shocked and dismayed, you immediately close Facebook without replying... and then close the browser window... and then shut off the computer and tip toe away from your desk being as quiet as you can. Shhhh! (Why quietly? Facebook Chat can hear you!)
Suggestshuns
Facebook and other friends often suggest people you should be friends with. When you receive these Friend Suggestions, remember, the "Ignore" button is a very handy tool.
It seems the party-poopin' puritans running CBS have a problem with heads and asses and the comical meeting of both. This funny ad was created by the team at the Brooklyn Brothers agency, including (our pal and UsedWigs contributor) copywriter Mike Pierantozzi. They just got word the commercial will be nixed. Nipple-fearing CBS declined to comment why.
Boo! I love anything that makes fun of golfers and their silly outfits (expertly detailed in this ad). I'm sure this will free up time for another 30 seconds of that doodling, long-haired, UPS automaton and his stupid white board. Ugh.
We here at UsedWigs love Audible, they are a giant ray of blasting sunshine fighting through our chilly winter blues. They're also playing tonight at Johnny Brenda's! So go and bask in their warmth.
"After an 8-month absence from playing live. Get tickets here for an amazing show this Friday January 29th that will benefit a great cause. We will be playing with East Hundred and The Swimmers and all proceeds will go the JMML Foundation, which funds research for a rare form of juvenile leukemia. Show starts at 9 and we go on at 10:30."
Even More More! Audible will be playing the much anticipated UsedWigs Live show on March 19th at Upstairs at World Cafe Live! Official announcement coming next week! Click here to be kept in the loop.
If you love greed, conspiracy, backstabbing and rich people acting very very nasty — oh, and art — this should be a fun viewing.
"The film chronicles the long and dramatic struggle for control of the Barnes Foundation, a private collection of art valued at more than $25 billion. In 1922, Dr. Albert C. Barnes formed a remarkable educational institution around his priceless collection of art, located just five miles outside of Philadelphia. Now, more than 50 years after Barnes’ death, a powerful group of moneyed interests have gone to court for control of the art, and intend to bring it to a new museum in Philadelphia."
The Barnes pretty much sat on my college campus in Merion PA, tucked away on a side street behind large trees and gardens. It was very easy to miss. The average student was not aware that 181 Renoirs, 69 Cezannes, 59 Matisses , 46 Picassos, 21 Soutines, 18 Rousseaus, 16 Modiglianis, 11 Degas, 7 Van Goghs, 6 Seurats, 4 Manets and 4 Monets were right around the block.
Topics: 2001 & 2010 Space Odyssey, Stupid New Year's Resolutions, UsedWigs Live Part II, Movie Previews, Saturday Night Live's Awful Movie History, The Mule Voice, The Mac Tablet, Future of The Printed Books, Go Team Conan!
Preview: “No one starts cocaine on January first...”
Being part of the entertainment news community has its perks, like getting "hot off the press" releases from the top P.R. people in the biz. As you would imagine, I do get a bit bored reading all the properly spell-checked releases penned by those fancy writers and look forward to receiving some news with a less formal and more guerrilla (or should I say gorilla) approach.
Subject: MTV MEGA STAR J-WOWW TO SPEAK TO MEDIA TOMORROW REGARDING SECURITY ISSUES OF HER HOMECOMING CELEBRATION ON LONG ISLAND AFTER ALMOST RIOT
Date: January 26, 2010 4:01:53 PM EST
To: music@usedwigs.com
MTV MEGA STAR J-WOWW TO SPEAK TO MEDIA TOMORROW REGARDING SECURITY ISSUES OF HER HOMECOMING CELEBRATION ON LONG ISLAND AFTER ALMOST RIOT
MTV mega star J-Woww will be available for media commentary on Long Island reguarding security issues based on her last appearance which almost resulted in a riot. She will be talking about the over 200 security officers that will be working with the local police department to ensure eager fans safety at her upcoming homecoming celebration taking place this week on Long Island.
Last week J-Woww, at a appearance in New Jersey, was flooded by over 5,000 people at a local nightclub causing police dressed in riot gear to take charge for the health, safety, and well being of fans.
When: Wednesday, January 27, 2010, 2pm
Where: Glo nightclub; 37 Merrick Ave,
Westbury, NY
Hmmmm? Long Island, in the middle of the week, early afternoon, short notice? Who would have the free time to attend? Ohhhhh, right... it will be packed.
"To all the people watching, I can never thank you enough for your kindness to me and I'll think about it for the rest of my life," O'Brien said. "All I ask of you is one thing: please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism -- it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."
It’s always a “My teacher’s in my house!”-type giddy feeling when my two worlds collide: When my “teacher” (L&O or the other fictional crime show I watch now because it's on every channel all the time, Criminal Minds) “comes to” my “house” (Facebook, Twitter, etc., aka the world you and I all basically live in now).
