A bit tired of hearing that Waitress's "wrapping" song and Bruce babbling on about Clarence getting a new sax for Christmas? Us too. Here's a holly jolly roundup of some little-known originals and some well-known classics done by some of our favorite modern (mostly indie) artists. Have a favorite tune you wish to share? Just Post a Comment (bottom of page) and let us know. Merry Merry!

Duvall - "Do You Hear What I Hear" - MP3

Sufjan Stevens - "Only at Christmas Time" - MP3
and "That Was the Worst Christmas Ever" - MP3

The Dismemberment Plan - "This Christmas" - MP3

Alexi Murdoch - "Silent Night" - MP3

Andrew Dost - "Yeah, I Know, It's Christmastime" - MP3

Long Winters - "Sometimes You Have to Work on Christmas (Sometimes)" - MP3

Cliff Hillis - "On A Day Like Christmas" - MP3

Belle And Sebastian - "Are You Coming Over For Christmas?" - MP3

Death Cab For Cutie - Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home) - MP3

Centro-Matic - "Fuselage (It's Starting to Look Like Christmas Once Again)" - MP3

Descendents - "Christmas Vacation" - MP3

The Swimmers - "A Christmas Sound" - MP3

Adam Arcuragi - "The Christmas Song" - MP3

The Flaming Lips - "A Change At Christmas (Say It Isn't So)" - MP3

Adventures of Jet - "Waiting for Christmas" - MP3

Pearl Jam - "Let Me Sleep" and "Someday at Christmas" - MP3

Snow Patrol - "When I Get Home For Christmas" - MP3

The Pogues & Kirsty MacColl - "Fairytale Of New York" - MP3 - Video

Chomsky - "Christmas Time Is Here" - MP3

The Soft Lightes - The Last Christmas On Earth - Listen here

Last Train Home - "Home For Christmas" - Sample

The Hives & Cyndi Lauper - "A Christmas Duel" - Video

Harvey Danger - "Sometimes You Have to Work on Christmas (Sometimes)" - Video

Aimee Mann - "Calling on Mary" - Video

The Ramones - "Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want to Fight Tonight)" - Video

Low - "Just Like Christmas" - Video

Matt Pond PA - "Snow Day"

Huffamoose - "Hanukkah And Christmas Hand In Hand"

Chris Stamey & Cathy Harrington - "You're What I Want For Christmas"

Coldplay - "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas"

Man or Astroman - "Frosty the Snowman"

Blink 182 - "It's Christmas Time Again"

Magnets are fun, plain and simple, but insanely "strong" magnets are fun and dangerous! Read danger notice here. So if you're an extreme type of guy or gal who enjoys attracting or repelling things, this canister will keep you mesmerized and magnetized! Bonus, dress up like this guy and buy yourself some Magnetic Thinking Putty to go with your new shiny little pals. You might never leave the house again.

BTW, this is not a good office gift. Magnet + Computer = Useless Computer.

Price: $14.99

Buy: www.ThinkGeek.com

Body Movin' Body Body Movin! Dave Hill and his Valley Lodge have fleshed out a nice video for their classic cut "All of My Loving."

Conan and Andy Visit: Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis. Outstanding as always.

Sales Guy vs Web Dude: I'm a bit late to the game on this viral vid, funny stuff for anyone involved in tech, tech support, web or even you dummies in the sales department: The Website is Down. Episode one is my fave. (link via @mleis)

Ken Ober: "Kenny wasn't like the other kids/ TV mattered, nothing else did/Girls said yes, but he said no/Now he's got his own game show... Remote Control!" Thanks for bringing an insane amount of trivial fun to my obsessive video- and game show- watching teen years with Remote Control. Ken Ober, you were a good man. A funny man.

Expensive Gift Idea: Beatles USB Drive! This high-tech piece of fruit will set you back about $240, a little too pricey to be mentioned in our Popular and Affordable Gift Guide, but if you have a Beatles nerd in your life who deserves something cool, have at it. The deets:

"The exquisitely crafted, apple-shaped USB drive is loaded with the critically acclaimed re-mastered audio for The Beatles' 14 stereo titles, as well as all of the re-mastered CDs visual elements, including 13 mini-documentary films about the studio albums, replicated original UK album art, rare photos and expanded liner notes."

Edward Woodward - TV's The Equalizer (a totally bad-ass show) has passed away. Here's a nice tribute.

Timber! The Death Of The Drexel Shaft:

Chris Knows A-Holes! Our pal Chris Illuminati is the coauthor of The Assholeology: The Science Behind Getting Your Way - and Getting Away with it. It will be out January, 2010. Buy it, so he'll write another one and stop tweeting so much.

Fuck NPR! Give your dough to WFMU for a change. (They never depress the hell out of you.) Join Scharpling and Wurster Tuesday night (11/17) for the 24-Hour Fall Marathon! Always excellent swag with each donation. The Best Show starts at 8:oopm EST.

Jerry Fuchs Tributes: In case you missed it last week, WPRB's Jon Solomon produced a lovely tribute show to Jerry Fuchs who died tragically on November 8th. Dave McGurgan penned a really nice piece about Fuchs amazing drumming style and Henry Owings remembers his dear friend on Chunklet.

Jerry is survived by an impressive canon of records on which he's performed, countless mouth-agape audiences in awe of his work, dozens of heart-crushed former bandmates, and an endless parade of true friends around the world. Jerry, your influence was profound and far-reaching. More

BTW, Jon Solomon will be our next guest on UsedWigs Radio.

Hungry for some tasty, low-cal distractions before the big holiday? Here's a bowl of some cheese-filled trivia nuggets to feed your ever-expanding pop culture belly.

World's 50 Best Restaurants in The World
... that will never let my annoying vegetarian ass in the door.

Largest Stadiums in The World
A quarter million people packed in one place to watch cars go vroom vroom.

Longest Running TV Shows
"Quarterlife" just missed by 632 episodes.

Worst Talk Shows in TV History
I have the entire 5-month run of "McEnroe" on Blu-ray.

The Most Expensive Beers in the World
I'll wait for the Vielle Bon Secours Lite.

Top-Selling Video Games Of All Time
Every game involves either serious violence or worse, a stupid little plastic guitar. We are doomed.

The 20 Most Expensive Domain Names
On a related note: "flooz.com" is now the cheapest.

The 10 Largest U.S. Bankruptcies
Don't worry, the CEOs are fine.

All Time Worldwide Movie Box Office
Sorry, that dumb boat movie still tops the list.

Largest Roller Coaster Drops
Also known as the "Largest Collection of Vomit Deposited on Other Peoples' Backs."

World's Fastest Drummers
Yep, "Stop-n-Go" Rice, "Cool Hands" LeCompte, "Tommy Gun" Grosset, all your favorites are here.

Top Ten Most Expensive Paintings Of All Time
What, no Thomas Kinkade!

The Most Expensive Photographs Ever Sold
This just in: a photo of Lindsey Lohan buying a pregnancy test kit and a bottle of Vodka just broke the record.

Best-Selling Albums by American Idol Alumni
Fun Fact: Season 1 contestant Nikki McKibbin has bought all these CDs.

The 50 Worst Cars of All Time
My dad owned about 6 of these... maybe more.

Top 10 Fastest Cars in the World
My dad owned none of these.

Top 10 Novelty Songs
Shouldn't Weezer and Fergie own this list?

The World's 10 Biggest Robberies
Oddly, The producers of the last two "Pirates of the Caribbean" flicks are not on the list.

Best-Selling Books of All Time
If your a fan of religion and magic (I know, same thing), this list's for you!

10 Biggest Computer Flops of All Time
"Hi NeXT and Newton, I'd like you to meet Vista."

America's Top-Selling Albums of All Time
Since kids aren't buying CDs anymore, this list may never change. Those dirty hippies will soar forever.

Most Expensive Wines of All Time
... bought by the biggest ass-heads of all time (FYI, The Thomas Jefferson bottles are fakes)

Joey Chestnut's Competitive Eating Records
Listen closely and you can hear his withering, deep-fired heart gasping in pain, "Stop, please Lord, stop..."

Biggest Box-Office Bombs
"Pluto Nash": Budget: $100,000,000 - Gross: $4,411,102. Wow! Many more doozies.

Top 25 Highest Grossing Domestic Horror Films of All Time
Is "Jaws" really a horror flick? What about those "Mummy" movies? Definitely debatable.

World's Most Expensive Homes
Why does this make me yearn to see the World's Most Destructive Earthquakes?

Top 500 Modern Rock Songs
Normally, these lists are pathetic, but I must give WOXY credit for putting together a very solid list.

The World's 10 Most Wanted Criminals
If sighted, approach the criminal quickly and aggressively and yell, "I got him! I got him!" while preparing to tackle.

The 10 highest-paid CEOs
Ha ha Ray Irani of Occidental Petroleum, Lawrence Ellison of Oracle more than twice as much as you! Loser.

Not my favorite R.E.M. album, but still one of the all-time great spins from start to finish. This remastered deluxe edition sounds amazing, even better than the cassette I still own. "Reckoning 'confirms R.E.M. as one of the most beautifully exciting groups on the planet.' wrote NME in 1984. R.E.M.'s second full-length album also prompted The Washington Post to proclaim that 'there isn't an American band worth following more than R.E.M.' Twenty-five years later, The two-CD Reckoning - Deluxe Edition features the original album remastered plus a bonus disc of a previously unreleased concert recorded during the band's Little America tour at Chicago's Aragon Ballroom on July 7, 1984 ."- Amazon.

Price: $26.99

Buy: Amazon

"Now, for the first time, Cross is weaving his media mockery, celebrity denunciation, religious commentary and sheer madness into book form, revealing the true story behind his almost existential distaste of Jim Belushi (The Belush), disclosing the up-to-now unpublished minutes to a meeting of Fox television network executives, and offering up a brutally grotesque run-in with Bill O'Reilly." - Publishers Weekly

Price: $16.31

Buy: Amazon

Mike Stilkey - see profile by David Kinsey at Fecal Face.

Todd Marrone - see Withdrawn.

I have noticed a chilling trait among stand-up comics: When I (a non-comedian) say anything to them that I intend to be funny, they respond in a flat, almost robotic voice, “That is hilarious.” Or, “Oh, my God, that is so funny.” Sometimes both.

But they don’t actually laugh at what I said.

“But Scott, what if maybe you’re just not funny?” No maybes: I know I’m not. So don’t say I am. Unless you can back it up with some laughter, coming from your body.

Befitting a tight little club, they laugh at each other’s stuff, of course, behind closed doors, literally. I found that out when I was standing right by the stage at the show headlined by Sarah Silverman recently in D.C. (see accompanying awesome phone-cam shot proving I was there).

It was actually amazingly raucous laughter, coming from a little room just offstage in which the performers who were waiting to go on were watching a live feed of the performer currently onstage, the kind of laughter that makes you laugh yourself, just based on how crazy it is. They were cracking each other’s shit up.

It was kind of endearing. I wish I had some kind of camaraderie like that with someones.

Another trait I’ve noticed is that stand-up guys and gals never don’t talk like stand-up comedians when they’re in public. Three or four of them in the back seat of the cab, talking among themselves, but always one at a time, no interrupting. Nothing normal-persony about their cadences: Not, in a casual tone of voice, “Hey, should we stop at this 7-11?” Instead, in a Carnegie Hall-filling voice to shame Ethel Merman, “How about these convenience stores in D.C., huh? [Insert topical local-oriented joke here, then riff a little]... AM I RIGHT?”

Read the rest

Interview: Kyp Malone

Topics: Man Chins, Pangaea Beer, Smokey and The Bandit, Shuttered Businesses, Haggling, Car Buying Tips, Scary Movie Trivia, Russ Gets Trapped in a Cave!

Playlist: The Lawrence Arms, The Swimmers, TV on the Radio, Rain Machine and Alkaline Trio.

Play Now: http://www.usedwigs.com/pod/podcast68.mp3

iTunes: Download, Listen and Subscribe

Website: www.usedwigsradio.com

Photos: Halloween and more sexiness!

First off, LOVE the giant pit stain, sir. Okay, I wish I could say this is not a fair representation Belmar, NJ, or that the network must have hired actors because these 20-somethings seem more like broad-based characters than actual sentient human beings, but no, this is the real dopey deal.

MTV producers did not have to stage any antics or coax any performances out of these always-animated, fist-pumping gorillas and perma-bronzed, high-heeled guidettes. Just watching them in their natural habitat, performing the ritual dances and aggressive mating habits is entertainment enough.

I grew up in Belmar and have witnessed the guido lifestyle from a safe distance, usually a block or two away. ("Guido" once a derogatory term used by the locals, has now been embraced by those who partake in the culture.) I lived on Tenth Ave. (the unofficial dividing line between year-rounds and rentals) and we had our fair share of rental properties crammed with these roid-enhanced interlopers from North Jersey and New York. Wiffle ball and Yankee caps all day, D'Jais and confrontations all night. Miller Lite $3 Bottles.

Oddly enough, out of all my years at the Jersey Shore (I still spend many weekends there in the Summer), I have only made verbal contact with the male species once or twice. The females wanted no part of a skinny Irish kid and I am pretty certain I have never spoken to one. The townies and the overly-tanned tourists rarely mixed, different bars, different beaches... very S. E. Hinton.

One time a giant guido grabbed me in the water and asked me to teach him and his buddies how to body surf. I obliged out of fear. An hour later only one of the three picked up the tricks and proper technique (I was amazed they were even buoyant), but they were having more fun busting each other's balls in a very boisterous manner (read: generous amount of F-bombs) and not caring how silly they looked. I had a good time as well. They were funny guys.

Way back when, when I was always bothered by these overly-muscled miscreants,, I thought it would be fun to go to Mike's Pizza around 4:00 am on Saturday with my friends and capture a real live guido (promised slices, a club and a large net) and then chain it up in a garage (think "38 Days Later" with the zombie captured by the evil army guys) and poke it with a stick for a while. Good clean fun. We'd release it back on to 17th and B Street the next morning. Safe in Sound, porkroll and cheese in its hand, cigarette too. Oh, and it would be tagged for later research... and maybe neutered.

My feelings have changed over the years and I have grown to enjoy them. Sure they can be a real pain in the ass -- they aren't the tidiest or quietest bunch and they can make a Sunday morning coffee run to Freedman's or Belmar Bagels an aggravating adventure -- but they keep to themselves for the most part, and the males usually only fight other males of their ilk. Usually.

Like most young people, they are just looking for some fun and a place to let loose. And dance. Their sweaty asses off. Belmar just happens to be their Shangri-La. Yay Belmar!

Sure they look ridiculous to the average "shore" person (especially the new orange-skinned breed with the Gotti Jr. haircuts, yikes!) but they make for great people watching and I will actually tune into the 24-hour horror show known as MTV for the first time in many years to gawk at the shenanigans and hum a few bars of "My Hometown" in honor.

(Thanks to fellow Belmartian Wave of The Present for the video link.)

See also:

• Man Prefers Kiddie Pool Over Beach